The Transdementional Adventures of Mark
by Kilroywuzheere
Summary: Yes, Kilroy is alive. It's been a while hasn't it? Fear not, I'm still crazy. The hilarity shall continue!
1. Chapter 1

Kilroy: (grinning like an idiot) Yay! First Fic, First Fic, I'm happy, hooray for me.

Hoobob: (sweatdrops) You are an idiot, you know that.

Kilroy: And how always needed help with physics?

Lute: You did. You asked me to tutor you numerous times.

Hoobob: (smiling triumphantly) Ha! I knew you weren't that smart. (leaves room)

Kilroy: I never asked you to tutor me.

Lute: (grins evilly)

Kilroy: Why you little bleep

Lute: What did you just call me?

Kilroy: You heard me!

They start fighting and many cuss-words fly.

Zero: BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!

Kilroy and Lute: WHY SHOULD WE!

Zero: (Silently reaches for Z-Saber)

Kilroy and Lute immediately stop fighting.

Zero: Good. Now make up.

Kilroy: (makes up with Lute) Now on with the Fic.

Lute: Kilroy doesn't own Fire Emblem or any of the characters.

* * *

There were two teenage boys sitting around an extremely messy room, looking extremely bored. 

"I'm bored," said one of the boys stating the obvious.

"Well what do you want to do?" asked the other, "This is your house, Kilroy, so you should have something to do here."

"Oh yeah, I just remembered, I just finished the dimensional travel machine in the basement," Kilroy said excitedly, "And I need someone to test it, Mark."

"I am not going to be your guinea pig! Why don't you do it." Mark exclaimed.

"Because someone has to stay behind to operate the machine, and it's to complicated to teach you how," Kilroy responded.

"One more thing," Mark said, "We are already in the basement, and I don't see this machine of yours."

"Oh this is just a lower room, the basement is behind that door," Kilroy said.

"Why haven't I noticed that before?" asked Mark.

"I dunno. Any way, what do ya say." Kilroy responded.

"All right, I am just that bored," said Mark in a very boring voice.

Then both boys went through the door, down some stairs and into the basement. When they got there Mark stood in awe of what he saw. It was an extremely large chamber hooked to a console. There was other equipment hooked to the pod that looked like they came from another time. Kilroy walked up to console and pushed some buttons, and the door to the pod slid open.

"Alright, get in and sit down," Kilroy told his friend, "Where do you want to go? You can go to any world ever created."

"Um… I want to go to… owwww… the Final Fantasy X universe," Mark said with a very happy look on his face, causing Kilroy to sweatdrop, knowing full well why he wanted to go. Mark stepped into the chamber, still smiling like an idiot. The door slid shut behind him.

A voice over the loudspeaker in the chamber said, "When you get there we will be able to communicate by way of this cell phone," a small drawer opened revealing a cell phone. Mark picked it up and put it in his pocket. "When you get there I will call you to make sure that you made it successfully to your destination. If you want to get out, just call me, you don't even have to dial, and I will pull you out. I will be able to observe you from this end, so I will pull you out immediately I you are in danger of loosing your life. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I am but that was one long explanation," Mark responded.

"Alright here we go," Kilroy said pushing a button on the console. This caused a whirring sound to resonate around the room. Suddenly one of the machines hooked to the pod blew up, causing Kilroy to fly across the room. This was followed by pieces of the console to burn out, too. This caused the destination to change and Mark was not sent to the predetermined destination they planned.

After the dust settled, Kilroy got to his feet and checked the console, to see what damage had been done. He checked the history of the portal and found that it had indeed changed the location before sending Mark, he just couldn't determine were he went. He went over to the part of the console that housed the communication device, in order to lock in on the cell phone signal, only to find that it was in the center of the area that had burned out. "CRAP! DAMMIT! FCK! BOB SAGOT!" Kilroy shouted, obviously pissed. It would take forever for him to fix this and not only that, but now he could not communicate with Mark. He sighed and set to work fixing the devices, the communication device took precedence.

Meanwhile…

Mark had arrived at his destination, but he had emerged from the portal about 15 feet off the ground. When he landed, he was knocked out. When he woke up a beautiful teen-age girl with blue-green hair greeted him. "I see that you are finally awake," she said to him, "I found you outside, unconscious, are you alright?" she said, sounding a little worried.

"Yeah, I think so. By the way, my name's Mark," said Mark introducing himself.

"Nice to meet you Mark, my name is Lyn," replied the girl.

Mark was a little worried; this was not the dimension he planned on visiting, though he didn't mind too much. If something went wrong back home, he was in deep shit. He decided that as soon as he got the chance he would call Kilroy to see what had happened. All of the sudden, they heard a noise outside.

"I'll go check it out, you stay hear," Lyn told Mark. She left for a little, then returned. When she came back she looked very worried. All she said was, "Bandits," and Mark knew what was going on.

"Well… crap," was all Mark could think to say after hearing the news.

* * *

Lute: You did not just do that. 

Kilroy: Yes I did.

Lute: Well its over so no complaining now.

Kilroy: Its just getting started. This is going to be fun.

Zero: I'm proud of you two.

Kilroy and Lute: Why?

Zero: You managed to get through this ending without fighting.

Kilroy: Your right. You want to fix that.

Lute: Bring it.

Kilroy and Lute begin to fight. Zero sweat drops and leaves the room, shaking his head. Hoobob, who has been in the room the whole time begins laughing his head off. Lute and Kilroy stop fighting each other and beat of Hoobob. They stop looking satisfied.

Kilroy: Well that was fun.

Lute: Yah.

Kilroy: R&R People, I really need some suggestions for pairings. I don't know when I will update again, so… Yah. Oh, I also would like some suggestions for a title.


	2. Chapter 2

Kilroy: Hello out there. I'm back. I have been bored, since I had both Friday and Saturday off, so I'm updating. I am surprised that no one asked why Kilroy shouted Bob Sagot in the last chapter. I also would like to give thanks to those of you to review.

Lute: But thanks to some rule he just found out about, he can't respond.

Hoobob: You aren't going to rant about this are you?

Kilroy: No, just saying.

Hoobob: All right. You go crazy sometimes with this kind of stuff.

Kilroy: I do not! Hoobob: Do too! Kilroy: Do Not! (Thye begin fighting)

Zero: (holding an orange soda) Kilroy, if you stop, I wil give you this.

Kilroy: (Stops fighting and begs for orange soda) Zero: (Gives him the soda)

Lute: That is just pathetic.

Hoobob: Yeah, I know.

Kilroy: ARE YOU MOCKING THE ORANGE SODA!

Lute + Hoobob: CRAP! (run from Kilroy, who gives chase)

Zero: Better start the fic before this gets too violent. Kilroy doesn't own Fire Emblem or any of the characters.

* * *

Lyn and Mark went outside. Mark saw two bandits when they got out there. "Now what are we going to do?" Mark said, obviously wondering why they didn't just hide in the house and lock the door.

"What else, we fight," said Lyn drawing her sword.

'Great,' thought Mark, 'I'm stuck is some other diminsion with a psycho chick wielding a sword, how could my life get any worse.' "Well, I don't know how to fight, so how am I supposed to help."

"You could give me advice, you look pretty smart," Lyn resoponded.

"Alright, walk up to that first bandit there," Mark said. With that they walked up to the bandit, who spotted them.

"Must attack girl with sword," the brigand said.

"But you don't have a sword," was all Mark said in response.

"But me not say me had sword," the bandit responded, confused.

"That's what is sounded like to me," Mark said, "So fix it."

"Me attack girl with ax?" the bandit said, still confused as hell.

"But she doesn't have an ax," Mark said with a smirk.

"But…ax…sword…attack…girl," the brigand's head then exploded out of confusion. (AN: That was funny now laugh dammit!) Mark then smiled triumphantly, having defeated the bandit without using a weapon. Lyn looked confused too.

"How…did you do that?" asked Lyn.

"Well obviously his brain was too small to grasp the concept of grammar, nor could he really tell what he meant when he said things, so anyone with a mind could have confused that man to death, much like I did," Mark said, starting to sound like a nerd.

"Well whatever you did I don't really care, since I don't have to deal with that bandit now," Lyn said, "now to take care of that last bandit." They then walked up to the leader of the two bandits. He didn't look quite as dumb as the first one, though. Clutched in his left hand was a rather large ax.

He pointed it at Lyn saying, "You dare challenge Batta the Beast?" He then proceeded to jump at Lyn, ax swinging through the air. Lyn blocked this with her sword, and a grapple started. "You want to know something?" asked Batta.

"What," Lyn replied.

"I'm not left handed!" Batta said, switching the hand his ax was in and easily won the grapple, knocking Lyn back. (AN: Rick, please don't sue me.)

"This is bad, isn't it?" asked Lyn.

"Quite," responded Mark. All of the sudden, Mark started holding his stomach and bending over. "Lyn…run," Mark said, as if in much pain, "Oh…I shouldn't have had that burrito last night." Lyn ran and Batta looked almost more confused than the other bandit. All of the sudden Mark ripped a huge fart, which caused Batta to start melting. "Ahhhhh," Mark said relieved.

"I'm going to be really pissed if you do that in the house," Lyn said, disgusted. "Well that was the last of them, so let's get some sleep."

The next day, Lyn told Mark of her predicament, and they set out on their journey. Their first stop was Bulgar, for some supplies. When they got there, they began their shopping, and while Lyn was busy, Mark made up an excuse, and left to call Kilroy to find out what had happened. "Kilroy, what the fck happened and where am I," Mark said angrily, yet quietly, so as to not draw attention to himself.

He heard this recording in response, "This number is busy or is no longer in effect, please hang up and try again later."

"CRAP!" shouted Mark, which drew him a lot of attention, including Lyn's. She sweat dropped as she walked up to him.

"Well, Mark, are you okay?" asked Lyn, obviously embarrassed to admitting to knowing him, "is it time for your pills or something?"

"No, I don't take any pills," said Mark in response, "but what are you insinuating!"

"Nothing," Lyn said, "We should get going." And with that they moved toward the exit of town. On the way there they ran into a cavalier in green armor.

* * *

Kilroy: And now, because I'm an asshole, I'm stopping here.

Zero: No you are not! (hits Kilroy on head) Kilroy: …Fine.

* * *

"O beauteous one, would you favor me with your name? Or better yet your company?" said the cavalier.

"Where are you from, sir knight, that you may talk to a stranger so freely?" Lyn asked.

"Why, from Caelin," the cavalier responded.

"I just hope that all of Caelin's knights are not such louts," Lyn responded, angrily and stormed off.

"Are you always this stupid?" asked Mark.

"No, just around women," responded the cavalier. Mark then ran off after Lyn. "Wait for me," the cavalier shouted after the woman.

"Sain, hold you tongue!" said a cavalier in red, who had just rode up.

"Ah, Kent, you know I couldn't help it," said Sain to his companion. It was just then that Lyn went back to the exit of town, and ran into the two cavaliers.

"Could you two move your horses they are blocking the road," Lyn said, still irritated.

"Of course, my apologies," said Kent, moving his horse.

"Well its good to see that all of Caelin's knights aren't as bad as that one there," she said pointing to Sain, who sweat dropped out of embarrassment.

"Wait," said Kent, "I believe that we have met before."

"Not fair Kent, I saw here first," Sain said, annoyed.

"Well, I guess all of you are the same!" said Lyn, now fuming.

"Smooth," was all Mark said to the cavaliers, then followed after Lyn.

"I am not you!" yelled Kent, fuming, and rode off after Lyn, too.

When Sain caught up to his friend he asked, "Why are you following her, then?"

"I think she might be our mission," Kent responeded.

* * *

Kilroy: Okay I am stopping here.

Zero: At least its better than where you planned on stopping earlier.

Lute and Hoobob then walk in, with many casts from the broken bones that Kilroy inflicted on them.

Lute: That chapter was laced with so many Bob and George references that many won't find it funny.

Kilroy: Well it's their own fault for not reading Bob and George.

Hoobob: R&R people.


	3. Chapter 3

Kilroy: Hello! (Grinning like an idiot)

Lute: Why are you so happy?

Kilroy: The new Fire Emblem game is coming out. And this time I am going to thank the individuals who reviewed independently.

**Rlnaruhina(x2): **Thank you for encouraging me to do this. And thanks for reviewing the encouragement helps. And the battles were probably a one time thing, I don't think Mark will be killing any more bandits. Oh yeah, the Tourrettes Guy yells Bob Sagot, that's where I got it.

**Dairokkan: **I'm glad you thought it was funny.

**ThuhGamefreak:** I don't really know, but I'll make sure Mark asks as soon as soon as he and Kilroy can communicate again.

**Lemurian-Girl: **Thank you for the constructive criticism.

Lute: Do you feel better now?

Kilroy: Yes. (Still grinning)

Zero: Why are you so happy?

Kilroy: If you had showed up on time, you would know.

Zero gets on a computer and reads the chapter. "Oh"

Hoobob: (Walks into the room to see Kilroy still grinning slightly) Why are you so happy?

Kilroy: ARGH! (Storms out of room, fuming)

Hoobob: What'd I do? What'd I do?

Lute: I'll go talk to him. (leaves room with orange soda in hand)

Zero: He'd already been asked the same question twice when you walked in.

A loud WOHOO! is heard from the next room, obviously Lute had just handed over the orange soda. Hoobob and Zero sweat drop.

Kilroy: (walks into room with orange soda in hand, grinning again) Start the fic!

Recording: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem or any of the characters.

Hoobob: When did we get that?

Kilroy: Since we got sick of actually saying the disclaimer.

* * *

Lyn had just left town, with Mark, when a bandit came up. "'ello there, 're you Lyndis?" asked the bandit in a British accent. 

Lyn looked at the bandit with an extremely confused look on her face, "If you're a bandit, why do you have a British accent?"

"What's wrong with 'aving a British accent? I'll 'ave to kill you fer that. Get 'er boys!" the bandit said, now pissed off.

After the bandit left Mark and Lyn started laughing hysterically and rolled around on the ground. It was then that the two cavaliers from town rode up. They sweat dropped when they saw the two rolling on the ground, laughing their asses off.

"What is so funny?" asked Kent.

"Yeah, I don't want to be left out!" Sain said.

"We'll tell you later, now we have a slight situation on our hands," Mark said, still chuckling, "we have about four bandits bearing down on us, want to help?"

"Sure, it is a knight's duty to protect a lady," Sain said before rushing at the first bandit.

"He's trying to hard," Kent said to himself.

"What did you say?" Lyn asked.

"No! No! I didn't say anything," Kent said nervously. They all then rushed into battle. After they killed all of the other bandits, they came up on the leader. He was leaning on his ax, with a monocle, reading. He looked up.

"Well there you are, 'old on a minute while I get ready," said the bandit, still with the British accent. All of the sudden Kent and Sain started rolling around on the ground, laughing their asses off.

"I see why you were laughing so hard earlier," the cavaliers said between laughs to Mark and Lyn who were stifling laughs of their own.

"You guys 're assholes!" the bandit said, jumping at Kent, who rolled out of the way still laughing.

"What's the matter?" asked Mark with a fake British accent. This only made the bandit madder. As they continued to make fun of the bandit, he just got more and more angry, until…

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR," yelled the bandit, "GGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" This caused the poor bandit's lungs to implode, causing instant death. They immediately stopped laughing, looked at the dead bandit, then started laughing again. This went on for quite awhile, until they ran out of breath.

"Oh…wait…he's…dead," said Mark.

"Hey, you're right," said the others. "We won!" They then went to the inn to get some sleep. On the way back to the inn Kent spoke up.

"I wish to apologize for earlier milady," Kent said, "I have a reason that I wish to explain myself."

"Wait," said Lyn, "you're the two knights from earlier."

"…Yes…" Kent responded, but before he could continue Lyn shouted out.

"STALKERS! GET AWAY FROM ME! STALKERS!" With that many cops appeared as if out of nowhere and took the two knights into custody. Lyn had a restraining order put on them; they could not come within ten feet of her. This all seemed to happen in about five minutes, so Mark's head was spinning.

"What just happened?" asked Mark.

"**_Well,_**"said a big booming voice, Mark looked around to see were the voice came from.

"**_Stop doing that, you look like an idiot,_**" said the voice, "**_Lyn just had a restraining order placed on Kent and Sain, pay attention next time._**"

"Who are you?" asked Mark, confused as hell.

"**_I am the all mighty and powerful…AUTHOR!_**" said the voice in the sky, "**_And before you ask, I'm telling you so that the main character doesn't fall behind, we don't want you head exploding like that first bandit, now do we?_**" Then a different voice was heard, also coming from the sky.

"**_Kilroy, stop messing with the characters in the fic,_**" said a feminine sounding voice.

"**_All right Lute,_**" said the voice.

"KILROY!" yelled Mark.

"**_Oh crap, this thing is still on,and don't call meKilroy,_**" said the voice, which then disappeared.

"O…kay," said Mark, sweat dropping. He then walked up to the cavaliers. "What did you want to tell Lyn before the restraining order was put on you?" Mark asked. The two cavaliers explained everything to Mark, who in turn told everything to Lyn. "Will you drop the restraining order, they only wanted to relay that message to you."

"…Alright," said Lyn, "but if they hit on me again, I will have to hurt them." Mark relayed the message to the cavaliers and all charges were dropped. They then got ready to set out on the journey.

Meanwhile…

Kilroy had spent about two hours fixing the communication device. Unfortunately, he had only managed to fix the sound, not the video, so he could not keep an eye on Mark. He initialized the scan to find out where the machine had sent Mark. Then he sat back and waited for the scan to finish. This could take awhile.

Back with Mark…

Sain was limping slightly, you can probably guess why, and Kent had to help him onto his horse so that they could set out. Mark was a little worried about how this would all pan out. They set off for the shrine that housed a sacred blade to pay their respects before they set out on their journey. As Lyn was explaining, some bandits attacked the shrine. "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO US!" yelled Mark, frustrated.

* * *

Lute: Why do you always stop before the battles? 

Klroy: To annoy people, but really the reason is that those are hard to write to be funny, so it takes a little too long to write them to stick two in the same chapter.

Zero: It is still annoying.

Hoobob: Do the rest of us get to make appearances in the fic like Lute did?

Kilroy: Depends on if you are around when I talk to the characters.

Hoobob: Review people, and we know when you read and don't review.

Kilroy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	4. Chapter 4

Kilroy: …

Lute: Kilroy, its time to start the fic.

Kilroy: …

Lute: Stop playing Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and start the fic now!

Kilroy: …

Hoobob: How are we going to do the fic without Kilroy.

Zero: We could just make stuff up like Kilroy does.

Hoobob: But we do not know the story of Fire Emblem enough to write this chapter.

Kilroy, without looking away from the TV, hands them the game's script.

Zero: Well this is convenient.

Hoobob: We still will need his help later.

Lute: (Grabs orange soda and opens it) Kilroy, I will give you this if you stop playing that game.

Kilroy: (Grabs orange soda from Lute and downs it in a single gulp, all without looking away from the TV) …

Lute, Hoobob, and Zero all stand there stunned.

Lute: We'll just have to make do. Start the fic!

Recording: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem or any of the characters.

* * *

As Mark sat there ripping his hair out, Lyn, Kent, and Sain approach the shrine. There was a crack in the wall that they begin beating with their weapons. 

Earlier …

A loud bang was heard in the shrine. "What happen?" asked the priest.

"Someone set us up the mine," replied one the his subordinates, "We see man."

"How are you gentlemen!" said Glass. "All your shrine are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction."

"What you say!" responded the priest.

"You have no chance to survive make your time," responded Glass. "HA HA HA HA …."

"Take off every 'zig'" said the assistant, running away.

"For great justice!" said the priest, doing the same.

Glass then tried to remove the sword from the alter, failing, he got pissed off. He then heard of the army approaching, so he waited for their arrival.

It was just about then that Sain broke through the wall. They saw Glass standing near the alter. By this time, they had managed to calm down Mark, who just walked in when Glass said, "All this shrine are belong to us!"

This cased Mark to curl up into a fetal position and start saying, "It's only a dream. It's only a dream." He also started rocking back and forth.

"What happen?" asked Glass. As the rest of them tried to talk to Glass, they started curling up into fetal positions and rocking back and forth too. Suddenly, the sky clouded up and a loud voice was heard.

"**_You are starting to get on my nerves, Glass!_**" said the voice in the sky. Upon hearing this, Mark stood up.

"KILROY!" Mark shouted, angry as hell.

"**_That's GOD to you, bitch!_**" said a different voice from the sky. As he said that, a large rock fell from the sky, almost hitting Mark. This scared the shit out of him, so he curled up in the fetal position again.

"**_He speaks!_**" said yet another voice from the sky. "**_Oh wait, false alarm, he went back to that game._**"

"**_Well, what did you expect, he's addicted to that game._**" said another voice. Upon hearing this fourth voice, Glass killed himself, thinking that he was going crazy. "**_Remember kids, suicide can be deadly, especially if you go through with it._**"

"Well, it looks like we won," said Lyn, finally getting out of her fetal position. When she said that, they all got out of their fetal positions.

"Good thing he killed himself," said Sain. "I our state, I don't think that we could have taken him."

"I'm a little worried about Mark, though," said Kent, "he's still in that fetal position."

They all then looked at Mark, and indeed he was still in the fetal position, sucking his thumb saying, "The author hates me, the author hates me." Everyone started to comfort Mark. After Mark regained his sanity, they walked up to the alter. The priest walked out of his hiding place.

"Thanks infinitely for assistance," said the priest. "You, how it goes." Upon hearing this, Mark curled up into that fetal position again. The others were shaking while they stood there.

"We are about to set out on a journey, so we have come to pray," said Lyn.

"Can you your hands on the sword put," said the priest. This caused everyone to shudder again. Lyn then walked up to the sword and placed her hands on it. The sword began to glow very brightly. "The spirit of the call sword at you." Lyn then pulled out the sword effortlessly, surprising herself. "Never I have not thought that the householder of Mani Kati me would in meet in my life."

"We had better get Mark out of here before he curls up so tight that he is eaten by his own ass," said Sain.

"I agree with Sain, minus the ass eating him part," said Kent, giving Sain a cold look. They then began to drag Mark out of the shrine, Lyn followed, new sword in hand. They met outside and began to talk about what had just happened.

"It's just so weird how a sword can call out for its "proper owner,"" said Lyn.

"Would you just stop complaining, I mean it is a free sword," said Mark, who had finally been coaxed out of his fetal position. He was still mighty pissed off, though, and who could blame him. "Now let's go, I'm tired." He then set off for a nearby inn.

"A good journey have!" the priest shouted after them. This caused everyone who had not already set off to run as quickly as they could, for they valued what little sanity they had left.

Meanwhile….

A mysterious shadowy figure was watching them as they traveled toward the inn. "Now that the plan has been set into motion, I can begin the plan for the conquest of their dimension," said the mysterious figure, "MWA HA HA, MWA HA HA!" Suddenly the screen he was using to view them went out, because he was finished watching, however he had forgotten to turn on the lights beforehand. "DAMMIT! Where is that light switch," said the figure, right afterwards he tripped over a chair, "BOB SAGOT!"

Back to Mark and the others….

They had just reached the inn, and they were having trouble getting the innkeeper to give them a key, "What do you mean you won't give us a room!" Mark said angrily.

"I do not trust the knight in green armor, at least not around my daughter," said the innkeeper, "he staid he about a week ago."

"Fine, he will sleep outside, so can we have a room now?" said Mark. Needless to say, he was very tired.

"I don't feel good about letting Sain sleep outside," said Kent. "I will share his room, and I will ensure that he does not get out."

"I'm still unsure about this…" said the innkeeper.

"We'll pay double for him if he hits on your daughter," said Mark.

"I'm still not sure…" said the innkeeper.

"We have cookies," said Lyn, holding a tray of cookies.

"SOLD!" said the innkeeper. Mark sweat dropped, he was wondering where Lyn had gotten the cookies. Then he wondered why she never gave him any of the cookies.

"Why didn't you ever give me any cookies!" yelled Mark.

"I didn't have them before," said Lyn calmly.

"BULLSHIT!" yelled Mark.

"Allow me to explain," said Lyn, "I have a theory that anything can happen, or appear, so long as it is part of a joke. This is a form of highly random humor," as she said this she was writing equations on a chalkboard, which no one had noticed before. Kent raised his hand. "Yes, Kent."

"You mean like that chalkboard you are writing on?" asked Kent.

"Yes, very good Kent," said Lyn. "I call this theory the Gag Reflex!" Everyone else in the room groaned at how cheesy that joke was. After that the chalkboard disappeared, as if it was never there. The innkeeper gave them their keys and they all went to their rooms. The rooms were too small to hold more than two people, so Lyn and Mark had to share a room, since they were at risk for paying double for Sain's room. Mark was just getting comfortable and sleepy, when all of the sudden a very loud ringing right next to his ear scared the shit out of him. He soon realized, and after getting Lyn to go back to sleep, for the ring woke her up too, that it was that cell phone Kilroy gave him.

"WHAT!" yelled Mark into the phone after walking outside.

"Hey, Mark I have been trying to find you for hours!" said a familiar voice on the other end.

"What do you mean hours! I have been here for DAYS!" yelled Mark, waking up both Kent and Sain, who had the room that he was now standing in front of. They just assumed that he had gone temporarily crazy, so they just ignored him and went back to sleep.

"Don't you know that time passes differently in different dimensions," said Kilroy calmly, "just be glad that this isn't one were you are there for a year and only five minutes pass here."

"What happened? Why didn't you pick up when I called you earlier? Why didn't I arrive at the predetermined location? Why am I asking so many questions?" Mark asked all in one breath.

"There was a malfunction causing an explosion, the communication center was damaged, the explosion changed the location, and you're an idiot," answered Kilroy in one breath. "It's going to take a while to fix all of the machinery, then I am going to have to test it extensively, then you will have to go to the same location that you emerged into this dimension, I predict that you will be there for at least another five years."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT!" yelled Mark, waking up the entire inn. Upon realizing this, he turned off the cell phone after saying that he would call Kilroy back. When he did, all of the people sleeping in the inn were just coming around the corner and Kent and Sain were coming out of their room. They all looked at him with a pissed off look on their faces. Lyn was at the front of the group, looking extremely pissed off, she was looking him straight in the eye.

"THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP," she yelled, "JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SLEEP DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU GET TO WAKE US UP!"

"I am very sorry Lyn," said Mark, "I'm just a little mad right now."

"Well what are you mad about?" asked Lyn. The rest of the group went back to their rooms, to go back to sleep.

"What if I don't want to talk about it?" asked Mark. He knew that if he told them the truth, that they would loose any thoughts that he was sane.

"Well, whatever, I am going back to bed," Lyn said. She then walked back to the room, and Mark followed, climbed into his bed and begin to think about what he was going to do with five years here.

* * *

Kilroy: … 

Lute: STOP PLAYING THAT F-ING GAME!

Zero: Lute, you need to calm down, it's not that bad.

Kilroy: (saves game and stops playing) I am thinking of doing a Halloween chapter, so if you have any costume suggestions, put them in the reviews.

Lute: And he is still open for pairings, he only has two, and he doesn't really have any of his own personal favorites of his own.

Kilroy: R&R or die! (goes back to Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance)

Hoobob, Lute, and Zero sweat drop.


	5. Chapter 5

Kilroy: (walks in dressed as Canas) Hello everybody

Zero: I'm the only one here.

Kilroy: Oh.

Zero: Why are you dressed up Halloween was along time ago?

Kilroy: I was too busy making this costume, and I just finished, so I'm going to wear it Dimmitt.

Zero: Okay, okay. Sheesh.

Kilroy: Don't you mouth off to me!

Zero: I wasn't mouthing off.

Kilroy: Wait a minute, Zero, your voice really sounds weird today, are you allright.

Zero: Uhh…. My voice synthesizer is starting to burn out.

Kilroy: Well, hurry up and get it replaced, you sound like Lute.

Just then, another Zero walks into the room.

Zero2: IMPOSTER!

Zero: I'm not the imposter, you're the imposter.

Just then another Zero walks into the room.

Kilroy: What is going on here?

Zero3: I'm the real Zero, so I will explain.

Zero + Zero2: You're not the real Zero, I am! Stop doing that! Cut it out!

Kilroy: (Goes insane) This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

Two of the Zero pull off their helmets, revealing Hoobob and Lute, and they startlaughing their asses off.

Zero: You two are assholes, but great idea, thank you for including me.

Kilroy: (Gets up and points finger) YOU BASTURDS, I'LL KILL YOU!

Zero: Run.

Lute: Start the fic!

Recording: Kilroy doesn't own Fire Emblem or any of it's characters, though he wishes he does.

Zero: When did the recording chan…

* * *

When they got up the next morning, all of them looked refreshed. Then they noticed that Mark was not up yet. Lyn walked into the room. "Mark, it's time to wake up." Mark did not even move. "Get up Mark. Mark. MARK!" This finally woke him up.

"Five more minutes mommy," said Mark sleepily. Being called "mommy" got Lyn really pissed.

"Mark, I want you to know that if you don't get up right now and apologize right this minute… I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" This little outburst was followed by the sounds of various things being banged on the wall and much whining and shouting.

"Should we stop her before she kills him," Kent said to Sain.

"You can try if you want, but I value my life," Sain responded. They stood there staring at the door, which soon fell off the hinges, revealing a room where everything that could possibly be broken, including Mark's bones, was smashed to pieces. This caused Sain and Kent, both knights (who should be used to this stuff) to grimace. Lyn stood there looking satisfied.

"All right guys, let's go," said Lyn, walking towards the two knights.

"Shouldn't we help Mark, he looks horrible," Kent said. Lyn then gave him the death glare, and Kent shut up. Sain then decided to help out Mark, so he walked to were what remained of Mark was lying. He almost barfed; Mark's arm was somehow twisted around his neck and shoved up his butt. All of his ribs were cracked and when Sain picked him up, there were much loud cracking, popping, and snapping was heard. Obviously all of the bones that here still in place had just broken.

"We really need to get you to a healer," Sain said quietly to Mark, so that Lyn wouldn't hear him. The group then left the inn. When Lyn found out that Sain had brought Mark along, she wasn't really angry at Sain, but she would not allow them to have a healer see Mark. They kept going until they cam upon a village that had been completely burned to the ground.

"I wonder what happened here?" Lyn said.

"It looks like some bandits came in and burn down the town after looting it," said Mark, walking up to Lyn.

"Wait a second, weren't you on the brink of death a second ago?" said Kent, puzzled.

"I got better," Mark said with a very goofy looking grin on his face. Everyone else sweatdropped. "What!"

"Nothing," said Lyn. Suddenly a very loud scream was heard in the distance, and the group went rushing toward the sound. When they got there they saw a young girl trying to get away from a brigand. Another one standing nearby was trying to keep a Pegasus under control. "Florina, what is going on here?"

"Well, I was looking for you and I was coming down to this village to see if you had been by, and well, I sort of landed on these two, um…ah…hm…, men," said Florina.

"Right that is, land on us she did," said the brigand.

"This is going to be another annoying battle," said Kent, "What do you think Sain? Sain? Sain!" He then looked over at his companion, who was staring at Florina. "You will never change."

"Well, did you apologize Florina?" asked Lyn, ignoring Kent and Sain behind her.

"Yes, I have apologized many times over," Florina answered, "But they won't listen to me!"

"Admit it she does, come with us she will," said the bandit. "Do battle we will. Free game the guys are, scratch the girls you will not." Everyone sweatdropped at how the bandit spoke. At least it isn't as bad a last time, right?

Then the bandit ran off, and many others emerged from the "woodwork". Lyn started to get worried about the nearby villages that were still nearby, so she went to the closest one. "Hello, is anyone here?" she asked the seemingly empty village.

"Go away bandits we have no more gold for you!" said a disembodied voice. Lyn looked up, but there was not a cloud in the sky.

"I'm not with the bandits, I am not here for you're gold," Lyn said, looking around for the disembodied voice.

Another voice said, "Hold on everyone, stay in your houses, I will see what's going on." A boy walked into the town square. "Who are you, and why did the voice hint at your arrival."

"I'm Lyn and we are driving away these bandits, we just came to warn you to close the gates," Lyn said, "Wait a second, you guys have a disembodied voice?"

"Well, the truth is, we think it's just some hobo, but we haven't found a body yet," the boy said, "And I would like to help drive off the bandits."

"Sure, the more the merrier," said Lyn, "by the way, what's your name?"

"I'm Wil," said (do I really have to tell you who said this?)

They then walked out of the village gates, which slammed shut, almost on them. Lyn jumped, but Wil looked unfazed. "That gate almost shut on us! Why does it do that? And how does it do that!"

"Ummm…… Ahh… A wizard did it…" said Wil nervously.

"Oh really, I would like to meet this wizard," Lyn said. Wil sweatdropped, but followed anyway. When he got to the camp, he was greeted by a bunch of people who looked like they were crazy. "Go ahead and introduce yourself."

"Hello everyone, I'm Wil."

"Hello Wil," everyone replied in unison, in something of a monotone.

"I have a problem with, Wait A Minute!" Wil said, " Why does this sound like a support group?"

"Whatever do you mean Wil?" said Mark as he walked up to Wil. "We really have no idea what you are talking about," 'I'm going to have to ask Kilroy about this. They didn't have support groups in the time this dimension is set in, at least I don't think so.'

Suddenly a disembodied voice said: "This is Wil. He is an archer. He can attack from two spaces away. Do not worry about walls for the arrows can go right through them."

"Wait a second," said Mark, "How can an arrow go through a wall, that doesn't make any sense?"

"Umm… A wizard did it…" responded the voice, nervously.

"I just can't wait to meet this wizard!" Lyn said, excitedly. Everyone sweatdropped, including the voice (please don't ask how).

"Anyway… This is Florina. She is a Pegasus knight. She is a flying unit," said the voice.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious," said Mark sarcastically.

"She is also weak against bows," said the voice, ignoring Mark.

"Why are flying units weak against bows, and you had better not say a wizard did it!" said Mark.

"Do not question video game rules!" yelled the voice, "wait, did I just, oops."

"**_You're fired, you stupid voice!_**" said a familiar voice from the sky.

"Why am I fired, I just made one mistake?" asked the voice.

"**_Do you realize just how expensive Fourth Wall insurance is!_**" (you should be able to tell who this is by now)

"You break the Fourth Wall all the time, in fact you're doing it right now," said the voice.

"**_Okay, now you're fired and I'm going to kill you._**"

"Okay…" said Wil, "does that happen often?"

"Yeah, you'll get used to it, right after you go insane," Mark responded. "No I'm just kidding, you probably won't go insane, but it is possible."

"Forget about me you did!" said the bandit.

"You know, no one really cares," said Kent, " but I guess you won't leave us alone until we battle you, come on Sain." Sain didn't respond. "Sain, we have to kill this bandit." Sain still didn't answer, so he started looking around. He eventually found him, trying to woo Florina. He saighed, "Sain will you ever change?"

"Hello, oh beauteous one," said Sain to Florina, "would you favor me with your company?"

"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!" screamed Florina at the top of her lungs. Upon hearing this Lyn came rushing up and clobbered Sain without even asking what happened.

"If you ever go near her again," said Lyn, "I will…"

"Kill me, for I am willing to take that risk," said Sain.

"No, I was about to say I would kill you, but instead now I will castrate you if you go near her again," Lyn said, walking away.

"You are in a shit load of shit now, aren't you?" said Mark, laughingly.

"You will never give up, even uder that threat now will you?" said Kent, mocking Sain.

"SHUT THE F-CK UP YOU F-CKING BASTURDS!" said Sain, obviously pissed off. He then went storming away.

"Oh wait, we still have to kill that bandit don't we," said Mark.

"That is why I am here," said Kent, "I was going to fetch Sain so that we could take care of him." They gathered the army, and luckily they had taken so long that only a few bandits were left. They went up to the leader of the group, who was looking very annoyed.

"Lat you are," said the bandit, "waiting I have been." Suddenly Glass appeared out of nowhere.

"They speak bizar!" Glass yelled at the bandit.

"One to talk you are," said the bandit. "Do battle we will." They started fighting, and when Glass won, he disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared.

"Didn't he kill himself?" said Mark.

"The Gag Reflex at work," said Lyn. They set off for an inn, since they had defeated the boss, well not really, but they went to an inn anyway, and you can't complain, because I'm in charge and they can do whatever I want them too, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Alright I'm done now. So they went to an inn, and for some strange reason the innkeeper looked the same as the last one.

"Wait didn't you run the inn in the last town?" asked Mark, "Are we going to have to pay double?"

"No I do not run the inn of a different town, but my brothers, cousins, uncle, and even some of our sons run inns, it's a family business," said the innkeeper, "just don't let it bug you."

"Alright, we won't bring it up again," said Kent. He then looked over at Sain, who was watching Florina from afar, obviously because he valued he junk. He began to wonder why Lyn was so overprotective of Florina, then he decided that it was best not to think of it. He continued to look around, and he say that Lyn was keeping an eye on Sain. He continued to look around; he spotted Wil, whom was playing darts with some poor drunks, who were dumb enough to bet on a game of darts against an archer. He didn't find Mark, so he assumed that he had already gone to bed. He then went over to the bar and ordered a very strong drink, hoping to ease his troubles.

Meanwhile…

"Kilroy, I have some more questions, are you there?" said Mark into the cell phone. Kilroy picked up.

"Yes, what questions do you have for me?" asked Kilroy.

"Well, I've noticed that some things that don't fit into the time period that this dimension is set in are occurring," said Mark, "do you know what's going on with that?"

"Well I'm not positive what going on, but you may be corrupting this dimension," said Kilroy. "If the malfunction hadn't occurred, then there would be a safe guard for this kind of thing. So what's been happening in this little world?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now. By the way, how goes the repairs?" asked Mark.

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I have not had that long to work on it lately, because only a few hours have passed since I called you last!" yelled Kilroy.

"Oh, sorry about that," said Mark, "well good night, or day, or whatever it is there." He then hung up, and went out to the lobby, to find Kent somewhat drunk, Wil with two black eye, which were from the drunks, who were not pleased with the outcome of the betting, and Sain hitting on Florina again.

"Will you leave me alone?" asked Florina, obviously tired. "I don't want to have to go wake Lyn up." This statement seemed to shut up Sain, however he looked disheartened. He then helped Mark carry Kent off to there room, Florina was in the same room as Lyn, so she was safe from Sain for the night, Kent and Sain were in the same room again, and Mark was bedding with Wil. The rest of the night went pretty much uneventful.

* * *

Kilroy: All right I forgive you guys.

Lute: Thank you for not even hurting us.

Zero: I still can't believe you fell for it.

Kilroy: Remember, pay backs are hell.

Zero, Lute+ Hoobob: Crap.

Kilroy: R&R people, I really need your guys' support. This is one of the few things that keep me from going completely insane.


	6. Chapter 6

Kilroy: I forgot my pill this morning!

Zero: Run for your lives!

Kilroy: It's not that bad, the pill barely does anything anymore anyway, it's not like anybody will notice at anytime.

Lute: Too many any's! (goes slightly more insane than usual)

Zero: Speech interpretation unit overloaded, shutdown commencing in 3 … 2… 1… beoo….

Kilroy: Peace at last.

Hoobob: (walks in) Hello!

Kilroy: (sighs) Hey Hoobob, oh yeah, your creator called he said that to continue having you to help with this, I have to pay him. So you're fired.

Hoobob: WHAAT!

Kilroy: Hoobob, meet your replacement, come on in.

Lyn: (walks in) Hello, everybody.

Hoobob: WHAAAAT!

Kilroy: Hoobob, you can still drop by anytime you want, I just can't make you help anymore.

Zero escorts Hoobob out of the room, even though Hoobob could come in anytime he wanted.

Lute: WHAAAAAT! WHY DID YOU BRING IN ANOTHER WOMAN! I'LL KILL YOU! (starts fighting with Lyn)

Kilroy: Zero! Hoobob! Cat fight!

Recording: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem, or any of its characters. Now where's my check?

* * *

When they woke up the next morning, everyone was too tired to get up. They didn't actually leave until about 3:00 PM. Kent had a monster of a hangover, and Wil had a headache. Lyn was walking with Florina, so that Sain wouldn't try any thing. Sain was talking to Mark, who wasn't paying attention.

"Why don't you go bug Kent?" asked Mark.

"He has a hangover, and he doesn't want to talk to me," responded Sain.

"Oh really," said Mark, starting to grin evilly. He made his way over to Kent. "HEY KENT!" Mark shouted as loud as he possibly could, right in Kent's ear. Kent fell over and started to twitch and hold his head. Mark stood triumphantly over his "kill." Well, that is until the rest of the group found out, and then the only that was lower than Kent was Mark.

"Why would you do that to Kent?" asked Sain.

"Wheeze," responded Mark. Florina, who had been gone while the others tried to kill Mark, walked up to Sain, who was trying to help Mark, despite what he had just done to his best friend.

"What is that pile of bones? Is that Mark? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" said Florina, flipping out. When Lyn heard this, a loud shout was heard in the distance.

"Sain! If you have laid a single hand on her, I'll kill you!" Lyn yelled. Sain started looking around for a place to hide, but alas he was too late, Lyn had already gotten there.

"Mark did it!" yelled Sain, running like hell. Lyn just looked at Mark, and decided that he had already gotten enough of a beating, so she left. Florina was left there thinking, and then she started to grin evilly. She thought of how pissed off Lyn was when she thought that Sain had done something to her, she formulated a plan. She went off to find Sain, grinning inwardly.

"Hello Sain," said Florina.

"Ahhhh, get away from me!" said Sain, "and whatever you do, don't scream." Sain started cowering in a bush, just in case.

"I'm not going to scream," said Florina, "I'm sorry that I got Lyn got mad at you earlier."

"Really?" said Sain.

"Yeah, oh, there's Lyn now," said Florina, "EEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"AHHHHH!" screamed Sain, running off. Lyn saw Sain running off.

"SAIN!" she screamed, chasing after him.

"Ha, ha, ha," Florina laughed to herself, she loved getting Lyn pissed off. She did feel a little sorry for Sain, though. Well, she was going to go check on Mark. When she got there, Mark was starting to reconstitute from the puddle that he was in a while ago. Kent was also starting to recover. Florina decided to move on, instead of watching a man form out of a pile of bones and what appeared to be liquefied flesh. Wil was doing nothing particularly interesting, so she decided to see if Sain was still alive. When she got there, Sain was twitching in a pile on the ground; she decided that she might as well help him.

"Ack! Get away from me, get away," Sain said, starting to cry.

"I'm sorry, Sain, are you alright?" Florina asked.

"I think I will be alright," said Sain, "Why did you scream when you say Lyn?"

"I just like pissing her off," replied Florina, "and for some reason, she gets really pissed when you talk to me."

"Yeah, so I noticed," said Sain, sarcastically. He started to get up, "Thank you for helping me up," Sain said, remembering that he was almost in worse shape than Mark a little while ago.

"Any time, see ya later," said Florina, walking away. She smiled to herself, 'This has got to be my best plot ever,' she thought. She started to laugh silently to herself, walking off.

Meanwhile…

Mark had just reconstituted fully and Kent had finally gotten up. Mark apologized to Kent, who forgave him; he wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Just then, they saw Florina walk by, laughing to herself. They paid it no mind; they figured that she had just gone crazy like everyone else. Kent checked his watch; he noticed that it was almost dark. He went and told everyone that they needed to find shelter for the night.

They came across a musty old fortress, "Tonight's bed," said Wil.

"What? We cannot sleep here, Wil, there is no roof!" said Sain, a little annoyed.

"We are not staying there, I see an inn over there, it should only take about five minutes to get over there," said Kent.

"Wow, I didn't notice that," said Wil.

"Onward!" shouted Sain.

Meanwhile…

There was a loud alarm screeching. Many people were running around, in a panic. There was a man sitting in a fancy looking chair, with various advisors talking to him.

"Sir, we have a Level 10 plot-hole alert in sector 5!" said a girl with purple hair.

"What do you plan to do about it, sir?" asked another girl, with bluish-green hair said.

"If this is what a Level 10 alert is like, what is a Level 1 alert look like?" asked a man with a blonde ponytail.

"… Computer, cancel Level 10 alert," said the man in the chair, disappointed "you guys take all of the fun out of this."

"There isn't anything below a Level 10 is there?" asked the girl with purple hair.

"Well, what are we going to do about this potential plot-hole?" asked the man with the ponytail.

"I'll just have to destroy the inn," said the man in the chair.

Back with our "heroes"…

"We're almost to the inn," said Mark.

"I'm so glad that we don't have to stay in that musty old fortress," said Lyn.

"I can't wait to get to the bar!" said Kent. Fortunately for Kent, nobody heard this. All of the sudden the inn vaporized, as if it had never been there. "F-CK!"

"Well, I'm so glad to have found that fortress," said Lyn. They headed back to the fortress. When they entered the fortress, there was so much ruble that they could barely walk for about two seconds before tripping on something. Mark was the first to trip on something, falling flat on his face. Everyone started laughing.

"F-CK YOU!" yelled Mark at his mockers, "You are all assholes!" This "disturbance" alerted someone else who happened to be in the fortress.

"Hello, what are you doing in this old fortress?" asked a woman. She started to walk towards them, but stubbed her toe on a piece of ruble.

"Are you alright?" asked Lyn, giving the death glare to the men in the group, who were snickering.

"Yeah, I think that I will be alright," said the woman. "My name is Natalie by the way."

"What are you doing way out here by yourself?" asked Lyn.

"Well, my husband has been gone for a few days and I went out looking for him, and I wasn't by myself until the inn vaporized," said Natalie. She showed them a picture of a man, who they took to be her husband. Just then Kent rode in, looking anxious.

"There are bandits approaching from all sides milady," Kent said. "Sain is holding them off as we speak, we must hurry."

"But Natalie cannot move," said Lyn. "We must stay and defend the castle."

"All right, Lyn, you take the right wall of the castle, there is a small opening there," Mark said, obviously thinking, "they probably won't attack for too long, it is getting dark. Kent, Sain, you two protect the front entrance. Wil, you go shoot arrows through the wall, I saw a large crack over there. Florina, you back him up."

"Whoa! You can actually say something intelligent!" Sain said, sarcastically.

"Just for that, you get latrine duty," said Mark in response.

"When did we start listening to you?" asked Sain.

"Since the author made it that way, now we need to get off this topic before he shows up," said Mark.

They all went around the fort, covering their respective posts. Lyn spotted someone who looked familiar. She walked up and talked to him. "Are you Dorcas?" asked Lyn.

"Yes, but how did you…"said Dorcas before Lyn cut him off.

"What are you doing with this band of cutthroats?" Lyn asked.

"I'm need money for my wife…" Dorcas said before being cut off again.

"Natalie," said Lyn, "we are protecting her in this fortress."

"You mean Natalie is out here…" Dorcas said before being cut off yet again.

"Yes, looking for you," said Lyn, "now come with me, I'll introduce you to Mark, our…"

"TACTITION," Mark yelled from a distance.

So Lyn showed Dorcas to Mark. "Hello Mark I am…" Dorcas said before being cut off again.

"Dorcas, yeah, now you go into that room and protect your wife, just in case they get through Sain and Kent," said Mark. Dorcas complied and Mark went with Lyn to the other side of the fortress. They held off the enemies until the leader of the group came up.

"Hello, I am here to do battle with you," said the leader.

"Well, at least this one seems normal," Mark said, relieved.

"Wait, what time is it?" asked the leader.

"It's about 10:00, why?" Mark answered.

"Oh my God! Inuyasha is about to start! We're leaving now men!" yelled the leader.

"Well, there went the theory of him being a normal bandit," said Mark.

"Who cares if some stupid anime on Adult Swim is about to start, we came here to kill these guys!" one of the other bandits shouted before an arrow pierced him through the throat, followed almost instantly by one through the heart. Everyone looked at Wil, who stood there whistling.

"Well, now we're off," said the bandit leader. The bandits then left. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. They then went to sleep, with a lot of difficulty. They woke up in the morning sore and tired, but they kept on going on. Dorcas decided to go with them. They set off with a new ally and tired backs, from sleeping on the stone floor.

* * *

Kilroy: I'm sorry this one is shorter than the others, but it is hard to right nighttime battles, because they happen last. With daytime battles, things can happen before, during, and after.

Lute: That's a lie, he's just lazy.

Kilroy: Shut up you!

Zero: Hey, Kilroy, why did you fire Hoobob and hire Lyn?

Kilroy: (only to Zero) I did it to get back at them for the "Zero incident."

Zero: Good one.

Lyn: Am I supposed to be doing something?

Kilroy: Actually, you guys are just here to comment on my work.

Lyn: Oh, well I thought it was good.

Kilroy: Thanks, now onto the (music starts playing) REVIEW CORNER!

Everyone: YEAH!

Review Corner 

**Rlnaruhina:** Thank you for reviewing. I do plan on making this a funny SainxFlorina fic, as you have read about Florina's plan.

**Dairokkan:** Okay. And that wasn't exactly what I was going for.

Kilroy: Gee, why doesn't anyone else review? Any one who reviews this time gets…

Hoobob: A hug from me!

Kilroy: No! We don't want to scare them away! Well, what I was going to give you was a whole case of ORANGE SODA!

Lute: Not everybody likes orange soda as much as you.

Kilroy: (stupefied momentarily) Ha Ha Lute, of course everybody likes orange soda.

Hoobob: R&R people, we will send Karel to your house after casting Berserk on him if you don't review.


	7. Chapter 7

Kilroy: We're starting with Reviewer's Corner today, because I have some steam to work off.

Reviewer's Corner 

**fireemblem fox:** How can you not like orange soda! That's all.

**Rlnaruhina:** See, Lute, I told you people liked orange soda. Dude! Thank you for recruiting some reviewers for me!

**Dairokkan:** I agree, God's an ass.

Kilroy: (Mopping around) Hey.

Lyn: Is he going to be all right?

Hoobob: Well, maybe he's finally gone over the dead end.

Zero: We better get the padded room and straightjacket ready.

Kilroy: I NEED AN ORANGE SODA, NOW!

Lyn: All right, here you go. (hands him an orange soda)

Kilroy: (Downs the whole thing in 1 sec.) ANOTHER!

Lyn: All right… --;

Zero: At this pace we will be up to our eyes in cans before the end of the fic!

Recording: Kilroy does not own anything so stop asking!

* * *

Our heroes had left the old, rotten fortress, with their new friend in tow. They were setting off for the Lycian border.

"Mark, hey Mark, wait up!" Sain yelled to his companion. Mark just sighed.

"What is it Sain?" asked Mark. He had his suspicions but…

"I need some help on getting close to Florina without Lyn killing me," Sain said.

'Suspicion confirmed!' Mark thought. "I thought she was going to castrate you, that's not as bad as dying."

"For me it is!" Sain yelled. It was obvious that he was desperate. Mark decided to help him out a bit.

"Okay, I'll try to distract Lyn, while you talk to Florina," Mark said.

"Thank you!" Sain said before walking away. Mark got the feeling he was going to regret this. Oh well, he had made a promise to Sain.

"Hey, Lyn!" Mark yelled. Lyn turned to him.

"What do you want?" Lyn asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Well…" Mark said. 'Crap!' he thought, 'I really should have thought of something before I talked to her.' "I was wondering if you could teach me to use a sword," Mark said, thinking his ability to bullshit his way out of anything.

"Why?" Lyn asked, curious as to Mark's intentions.

'Why does she keep asking questions,' Mark thought. "Well, I thought that I could at least help out in battle if I'm going to travel with you." 'Yeah, that's it.'

"Alright, when do you want to begin?" Lyn asked.

"Well, right now is fine with me," Mark responded. Lyn got out an extra sword, in fact it was the one she used before she got the Mani Kati. She quickly learned that Mark barely even knew how to hold a sword. They didn't get very far into the training before…

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" came a loud screech from the distance.

"SAIN!" Lyn shouted in the direction of the screech.

"MARK DID IT!" was the response, which sounded a lot like Sain's.

"NICE TRY!" Lyn yelled back, "He's over here with me!" She then stormed off in the direction of the screech. Mark just stood there, cleaning out his ears. All of the sudden, Sain appeared out of a bush.

"I thought you were going to distract her!" Sain said.

"I know, she probably wouldn't have noticed, if Florina wasn't so loud," Mark responded. Then Florina stuck her head out of a bush opposite that of Sain.

"Oh, Mark, I'm glad I found you," Florina said, "You'll never guess what Sain did…" She stopped momentarily while she noticed Sain's head in the other bush. "…EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"SAIN!" Lyn responded, from the direction she went earlier.

"MARK DID IT!" Sain shouted, somehow throwing his voice so that it sounded as though it didn't come from the same direction as Florina's screech.

"WHAAAT!" Mark shouted, stunned. Lyn came rushing up and started to clobber Mark. It took the rest of the group plus 15 random, completely irrelevant to the story, generic strong men to pull her off of Mark. Luckily, Mark escaped with only a few bruises, but Lyn was so pissed at him that when he tried to explain what really happened. Since he couldn't get Lyn to listen to him, he went looking for Sain. He was going to die.

Meanwhile…

Sain and Florina were in a bush, laughing quietly. "Thank you for including me in this," Sain said to Florina. "What is the rest of the plan?" Florina whispered into Sain's ear, explaining everything. Sain started laughing hysterically, luckily nobody heard him. "That-that's perfect!" Sain said. "But, why pick me to help out?"

This statement caught Florina off guard. She wasn't as blessed as Mark in the bullshit department, so she just told the truth. "Well, you are the only guy here that doesn't really creep me out anymore," she answered his question.

"Really?" Sain asked, hopefully.

"Yeah…" Florina responded. They sat there, enjoying the moment, that lasted about two seconds before Mark found them. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Florina screeched, jumping into Sain's arms, whose ears and eyes to start bleeding (I don't know how his eyes bled either) as a result of the scream.

"MARK, IF THAT WAS YOU AGAIN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Lyn shouted, mad as hell. Mark looked around in a panic. He came up with a plan.

"Okay, Sain, I have a proposition for you," Mark said.

"I'm listening," Sain said.

"You run away from he as fast as you can, and I won't tell Lyn I saw you two together," Mark said, seeing the look on both their faces, who started to grin inwardly.

"Alright," Sain said, his eyes and ears somehow healed. Just then, Lyn came up, Sain dashed off, Mark hid in the bushes, and Florina looked stunned. Lyn automatically went after Sain, who had already found another hiding spot. She went back to where Florina was, and asked what happened.

"What happened?" Lyn asked Florina.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Florina said, still sounding as though in shock. Lyn believed her and went to look for Mark, whom she wished to apologize to for earlier. Mark came out of the bush, Sain came back and Florina stopped looking shocked.

"A deals a deal," Mark said, "I'll forget that I saw you two together." Sain and Florina nodded in agreement. Mark then left to a place where Lyn could find him.

Meanwhile…

"Do you think that we will…" Dorcas said before Kent cut him off.

"Get any air time? I don't think so." Kent said.

"Wait, we're …" Dorcas said before Wil cut him off.

"On right now," Wil said, "Yes! Now…" The camera cut him off.

Meanwhile…

Lyn finally found Mark. "I'm sorry about earlier," Lyn said to Mark.

"It's alright, I know you worry about Florina," Mark said. "I kind of worry about her sometimes too, she is very timid around men," Mark said, having already forgotten about earlier. There was an awkward silence there for about two seconds before they heard an awful shrieking voice that hurt their eardrums. They stood there, holding their ears to stop the suffering.

Off in the distance…

"I'm tired, Erky carry me. I'm bored tell me a story. Oooooh, who is that over there, let's go talk to them. I wonder who they are. When are we going to get to Ostia! I'm hungry! Can we go get something to eat?" wined a girl with pink hair. She was with a purple hair boy who was rubbing his temples. He looked extremely annoyed.

"I swear that this in not the girl that I agreed to escort," said the boy with purple hair.

"Did you say something? Because I could have sworn you said something! Ooooh look at those people over there! I wonder who they are! They look like their in trouble. Let's go talk to them! Come on Erky!" the whiney girl said. The boy just stood there for a second thinking how nothing could drive him any further from sanity. All of the sudden a poorly drawn lightning bolt flashed in the distance with a KRAKA-BOOM!

"Damn ominous thunder!" the boy shouted. The girl came back and dragged the boy off behind her. They went up to the leader of the group. "Hello, who are you guys? Where are you going? Can we help? What's you name? Mine's Serra. This is Erk," the annoying girl said. They all looked at the boy standing next to her, they assumed that it was Erk, and the annoyance was Serra.

"All right, well let's get going," Lyn said. The started to walk off, but then Lyn stopped. "Something just doesn't feel right."

"I know what you mean, we haven't had to face some crazy bandit leader today," Mark replied. They started to discuss it. "So, you ask the author, and I'll stand way over there just in case of falling debris."

"Alright, Author!" Lyn yelled up at the sky. Erk sweatdropped and Serra didn't seem to notice. "What's with the no villain today?"

"**_Well, the damn ominous thunder's lightning bolt sort of killed him,_**" a voice from the sky said. "**_I can bring him back, just for you to fight him if you like._**"

"No, we're good," Mark yelled up at the sky.

"**_You know I can hear you perfectly well when you don't shout,_**" said the voice in the sky.

"Alright, well see you later," Lyn said. She then turned to Serra and Erk. Serra was annoying the shit out of Erk, who was curled up and sucking his thumb. Lyn sweatdropped. "Hey, Author, Erk just went completely insane, please fix this." Suddenly, Erk got up and looked completely sane again. Then he looked at Serra. He immediately started to run away, screaming. Serra caught him however, and dragged him back to the group.

"Hey can we travel with you? That would be really cool! Come on, there is an inn over that hill. Come on let's go," Serra said, excited to have new friends.

" Alright, we ditch her at the first chance," Mark said quietly to Lyn.

"No, we can't do that because we would loose Erk at the same time," Lyn responded. They just shrugged and decided to go along with Serra until they could think of a way to ditch her and free Erk.

They got to the inn and the seemingly same old innkeeper greeted them. Kent went directly to the bar. Sain immediately started hitting on the innkeeper's daughter. Florina quickly afterwards dragged him away from the poor girl. Mark and Lyn were talking over at a table.

"How about we continue the sword training sometime?" Lyn asked Mark.

"Sure, whenever you feel like it," Mark responded, blushing a little.

"How about right now?" Lyn asked expectantly. Mark gulped.

"Alright, now's good," Mark said. Lyn then lead him outside. They began to practice sword play. Mark could barely hold the sword. Lyn went behind him, rapped her arms around him and grabbed the sword.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" a mysterious voice shouted at them. "I'm with the FCC and we are censoring this moment due to too many possible sexual innuendoes." A man in a black suit walked up.

"**_HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE BEEN WORKING UP TO THIS FOR TWO PARAGRAPHS! YOU TWO GO ON WHILE I KILL THE _**(the rest of this statement has been censored by the FCC). **_WHAAAAAT!_**" shouted a voice from the sky. All of the sudden another "Damn ominous thunder" bolt came down from the sky and fried the agent. "**_You two just go inside, he ruined the moment. ANOTHER ORANGE SODA, NOW!_**" Mark and Lyn walked inside stunned and confused.

"What's the FCC?" asked Lyn.

"Well, where I'm from they censor things that are available to the public, but I don't know what they are doing here," Mark said. Then they saw Kent, of all people, hitting on Florina.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Florina shouted at Kent. Sain came up and started to wrestle his friend away, before Lyn saw him. But, alas, it was too late.

"KENT!" Lyn shouted. Kent just looked at her.

"Hey, Lyn, why are there five of you?" Kent asked.

"Kent, how many beers have you had?" Mark asked.

"One…Two…Three…Four…Five…" Kent counted using his fingers, "Woops, I ran out of fingers." Just then Dorcas walked up.

"Sir, I'm the bouncer and …" he said before Wil cut him off.

"Had enough," Wil said.

"I'll tell you (hic) had enou(hic)gh," Kent said angrily. He then passed out on the floor.

"I wonder why Kent has started drinking," Sain speculated. "He usually didn't drink back in Caelin."

"Well, we better get him to bed," Wil said. "Maybe it's the stress that's getting to him."

Lyn looked around, noticing that Serra was looking for something. "What are you looking for Serra?" Lyn asked.

"I'm looking for Erk. He's been missing ever since we got here. I wonder where he is. Why do you suppose he's hiding?" Serra whined. Lyn sweatdropped. She knew that Erk had gotten a separate room, just so that Serra couldn't bug him tonight.

"Maybe he already went to bed," Lyn told Serra. Serra then went off in search of Erk anew. Lyn then talked to Mark about room arrangements.

"Well, I don't think there would be many objections for room arrangements by anyone," Mark said, "except for who beds with Serra."

"Maybe we can draw straws for it," Lyn said. Having no better ideas, they got a bunch of straws and cut one short. "Alright everybody, we are going to draw straws to see how shares a room with Serra." They all drew straws. Dorcas was the unfortunate one who drew the short straw.

"But I don't want…" Dorcas said before Mark cut him off.

"Want to share a room with Serra, well to help you out," Mark said, pulling something out of his pockets, "here are some earplugs." He handed over the earplugs and Dorcas went off to his room.

"Alright, as for the other arrangements," Lyn said, "Kent with Sain,…" Lyn said but Kent cut her off.

"I don't want to room with Sain!" Kent said drunkenly, "he talks my ear off all night."

"Okay, we'll draw straws for Sain too." Mark said. They drew straws, and Florina got the short one this time.

"NO!" Lyn shouted. "She is not rooming with him!"

"It's alright Lyn, he won't try anything," Florina told her friend.

"Alright, but if you touch even a single strand of her hair," Lyn said in a voice dripping with malice, "I won't stop at castration." Sain gulped.

"Yes maim," Sain said sheepishly. They then went off to their room.

"Alright, I am not sleeping in the same room as that hammered bustard that caused Florina and Sain to be in the same room," Lyn said, still fuming about what had just happened.

"I don't want to either," Mark said.

"But I won't either," Wil said.

"I pull rank, you room with Kent," Lyn and Mark said at the same time. They then laughed all the way back to their room.

"Are you my mommy?" Kent asked Wil before collapsing on the floor.

"Next time, we draw straws for you," Wil said to himself before dragging his roommate back to their room. 'If he calls me mommy again, I will kill something,' he thought to himself.

* * *

Kilroy: (In a straight jacket) Let me out of this room.

Zero: Do you guys think he will be all right?

Lyn: No, I'm still tired from cleaning that third wave of cans.

Lute: You know, he's going to have to pee soon.

Hoobob: Well he did drink about fifty cases of orange soda.

Zero: I think he finally calmed down, all right, let him out.

Kilroy: Hello everybody.

Lute: You seem different.

Lyn: Do you think that that stay in the room drove him insane.

Zero: No, he was already insane, which only means…

Hoobob: We drove him to sanity!

Lute: Quick give him an orange soda now!

Zero: (Holds Kilroy down while Lyn makes him drink an orange soda) All right, that should do it.

Kilroy: I know there is more orange soda! Give it to me now! (Goes back to insanity)

Hoobob: Now that's the Kilroy we know.

Lute: R&R people, or else Kilroy will go completely sane and loose his sense of humor.


	8. Chapter 8

Kilroy: It's time for another chapter!

Lute: Help us Lord!

Hoobob: AHHHHH! (runs around pulling out his hair)

Zero: Shutting down to avoid program overload.

Lyn: Why is this so bad?

Lute: Are you crazy girl!

Lyn: I still don't see why it's so bad!

Kilroy: Their rejections aside, on with the fic.

Recording: You know what I say by now.

* * *

The next morning…

Lyn and Mark were the first ones up.

"Where is everyone?" Mark asked.

"Well, Kent was hammered so he's probably sleeping it off. Wil's probably trying to wake him. Serra probably can't figure out how to get out of the room and Dorcas is probably sleeping, 'cause Serra kept him up yakking. Florina and Sain are probably still asleep, or at least that better be it. And Erk is probably catching up on his sleep." Lyn said.

"Good recap," Mark said.

"Thank you, I try," Lyn responded. They then started eating breakfast. Then Florina screamed.

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Florina screamed.

"SAIN!" Lyn shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Would you be quiet! Do you want to wake the other guests?" the innkeeper shouted at Lyn. Lyn then went running to Sain and Florina's room. She banged on the door.

"SAIN! YOU HAD BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!" Lyn yelled at the door.

"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU!" the innkeeper shouted at Lyn.

"YOU SHOULD BE ONE TO TALK!" Lyn shouted back. She then turned back to the door. "SAIN! YOU NOW HAVE TIL I FINISH THIS SENTENCE! THAT DOES IT I'M COMING IN!"

We interrupt this moment to bring you a flashback…

Florina had just woken up to find that she was in the same room as a man. She screamed her trademark scream, "EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Then she realized that it was just Sain. Unfortunately, this shriek had alerted Lyn.

"SAIN!" was heard in the distance. Sain woke up. He got down on his hands and knees.

"I had better get ready to die," Sain said. "Our Father, who art in heaven…" Sain said before the voice cut him off.

_**You called**_

"Not now, I'm trying to talk to God," Sain said. "Oh, wait sorry, I guess you technically are God here."

_**What do you want Sain?**_

"Well, I would like to not die," Sain said.

_**Sorry, it's going to be funnier if you get out of this yourself. Bye.**_

"Save me!" Sain said, leaping behind Florina. Florina sweatdropped. Just then…

"SAIN! YOU NOW HAVE TIL I FINISH THIS SENTENCE! THAT DOES IT I'M COMING IN!" Lyn shouted at the door.

"MARK DID IT!" Sain shouted.

"Oh really?" Lyn said, "MARK! I'm going to KILL YOU!" Lyn then stormed off in search of Mark.

"Wow, she actually bought it," Sain said. "Well, I better get ready for today."

Meanwhile… in the hallway… where Lyn and Mark are sneaking up on the door… to Sain's room…

Mark and Lyn were sneaking up to Sain's door.

"Didn't you just say that?" Lyn said.

Don't question me! Alright, now as I was saying, they were sneaking up on Sain.

"Alright on three," Lyn said.

"Okay," Mark said. "Three…two…one…now!" they said together.

Meanwhile…

"Alright, we both turn around while we change and we won't turn around until the other says we can," Florina said.

"Agreed," Sain said. He then turned around and began to change. At the very moment he took off his underwear, Lyn broke down the door.

"AH HA! Now you DIE!" Lyn shouted.

"I don't want to die!" Sain shouted. He then started to run around the room. Lyn chased him, and eventually Sain escaped the room. Unfortunately, he still wasn't wearing underwear.

"Hey, put some clothes on, you'll scare away the other guests!" the innkeeper shouted at Sain. Sain ran past the bar, where Kent had already had a few that morning.

"COOL! We're streaking now!" Kent shouted. He immediately tore off his clothes and started running along side Sain. "WOOOHOOO!"

"How many have you had!" Sain asked his friend.

"Who's counting?" Kent responded.

"If you're drunk enough to go streaking, then how can you run?" Sain asked.

"Well, the alcohol hasn't effected my motor skills yet, opp, there they go," Kent said as he fell all over himself and somehow wound up with his arm and leg almost switching places, then he passed out.

"Damn!" Sain said, stopping to help his friend.

"There you are!" Lyn shouted, reminding Sain that he was still on the run. He tried to make a break for it, but all of his escape routes were blocked. "There is no where for you to run now!"

"Stop!" Florina shouted. "You know that we were sharing a room because we drew straws for it."

"Yeah, but he still must pay for hurting you!" Lyn said, her voice dripping with raw malice.

"WE WERE JUST CHANGING FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" Florina shouted at the top of her lungs. "Do you really want him to wear the same underwear for two days in a row?"

"Not really," Lyn responded. "Alright, you're off the hook this time, but you have ten seconds to get back to your room and put some clothes on or I will pulverize you!" This triggered Sain running faster than he had a moment ago. He was out of his room, with clothes on, in about two seconds.

"Alright, now how do we deal with the sleeping lump formerly known as Kent?" Mark asked.

"Well, this is how I woke him up earlier," Wil said, pulling out an air horn.

"That will be perfect!" Mark replied snatching the air horn out of Wil's hand. He held it up to Kent's ear. "Alright, get ready." He pushed the button and the expected loud sound came out of the cone in the front, and right into Kent's ear. He jumped up, pissed himself and shit his pants at the same time.

"Great, now I have to go change!" Kent shouted. He stormed off to his room. Everyone kept quiet until he was gone, then busted out laughing.

"That should teach him a lesson!" Sain said. Fortunately for Sain, everyone had forgotten about the earlier events. That is, everyone except Florina.

'I'll keep this in my back pocket until later' she thought to herself. "Wow, has Kent ever gotten that drunk before?" Florina asked Sain, to get her mind off the subject at hand.

"Well, I think that this is the fourth time he's ever gotten drunk in his life," Sain said.

"Well, he got drunk for the last three times while I was around, but what about the fourth time?" Florina asked.

"Well, it was just before the testing to become knights," Sain said, going into flashback mode.

No! You will give the short version. We are already on the fourth page and everyone isn't even awake yet. HURRY UP!

"Okay, well he got so rip-roaring drunk that he hit on more women in five minutes than I did in the whole day," Sain said, giving the short version of his story. They then went to see what else was going on. Everyone seemed to be assembled in the lobby.

"Hey, where is Erk?" Sain asked. Everyone looked at him.

"Oh yeah, we forgot about him," Lyn said. Everyone else sweatdropped. They went to wake up Erk, but he refused to come out until they assured him that Serra wasn't there.

"Do you really think that she would be quiet for this long?" Mark asked.

"I guess you're right," Erk said. He then emerged from his room, nervously. "After one Serra free night, I don't want it to end."

Everyone then went to Dorcas and Serra's room. "Oh God, please…" Dorcas screamed before Serra interrupted him.

"Why won't you listen to me? I wonder why no one will listen to me. Hey, do you think Erk likes me? I really hope he likes me. What do you think?" Serra said. Erk just shook his head, hoping no one else heard what Serra just said. Everyone felt sorry for Erk, but they still had to get going, so…

"Serra, it's time to go," Lyn said into the door.

"Oh really, is Erk up yet? I really want to talk to him. I know he's up. I'm coming out!" Serra said to Lyn.

"Erk, you have a few seconds to run if you want to," Lyn said to the purple haired mage.

"Here I go," Erk said. And with that he started to run. Unfortunately he was to late, and Serra caught him, dragging him along behind her. "Why me?"

The rest of the group was to dumbfound by what they saw in the room to notice Erk's plight. What they saw was a grown man curled up in a fetal position, crying, and sucking his thumb. They knew that that could happen to anyone. But they never thought that Dorcas would fall victim to it.

"Oh my god, Dorcas what happened?" Lyn asked the unfortunate man.

"The voice, it is gone," Dorcas, said, "it just wouldn't stop. Has it gone?" He got up and started walking nervously. "I am FREEE!" Everybody else in the room sweatdropped. Well, now that everybody was up and ready, they set out for the rest of the day.

* * *

Kilroy: I'm ending it here because this took up five pages in Word.

Zero: You're sure it isn't lazyness?

Kilroy: Yes, dammit! Now on with the … (Music starts to play)

Reviewer's Corner 

Everybody else: Yeah!

**Rlnaruhina:** Thank you for reviewing and recruiting readers. And I liked the fic you suggested to me. I even added it to my favorites.

Kilroy: Why is there only one review!

Zero: Uh-oh…

Lute: Everyone, into the padded room!

Kilroy: I'm not going to even start working on the next one until I get more reviews. I mean, my all time high for a chapter is four, so I'm not updating until I get five, but that might not even appease me! It is time! If you do not review, I will delete this story! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zero: You better do as he says. He is pretty mad about only getting one this time.

Lute: Don't you think deletion is a little much?

Hoobob: He's already gone ballistic, so leave it be.


	9. Chapter 9

Kilroy: Hello again!

Lute: Kilroy is very proud of everyone who reviewed.

Zero: I know he said that he was going to wait for five, but he did get three this time, that's better than last chapter.

Lyn: Why does he go so ballistic over these reviews.

Kilroy: 'cause everybody else has more of them.

Hoobob: Jeez, just calm down, you will eventually get more. I mean you probably have like at least 40 chapters left.

Kilroy: You're right. All right let's get on with the fic.

Recording: I'm not going to say it!

Kilroy: Yes you are!

Recording: Kilroy is to stupid to own anything, especially Fire Emblem.

Kilroy: …Zero, blow that thing to hell.

Zero: All right (Grins evilly)

Recording: CRAP!

* * *

Lyn and her entourage had just left the inn. Dorcas had recovered from his night with Serra, and fortunately for him, Serra was hanging on Erk, much to Erk's displeasure. Everything was going all right, but due to the fact that that would make this chapter boring, something has to go wrong eventually. They were going through Araphen, and they were about to meet with the marques, when a scruffy looking man came up to Lyn.

"Are you Lady Lyndis of Caelin?" the man asked.

"Yes, what do you want you smelly, idiotic, and obviously morally deprived ruffian?"

"Who are you calling smelly? Well, anyway, prepare to die!" the man responded. All of the sudden an arrow shot through the bandit's heart, causing his instant death. (duh)

"Are you all right?" asked Kent.

"No, Kent, I just had a goon attack me, and then fall dead on me, I think I'll be all right!" Lyn yelled at Kent.

"… … … ?" said the man who had shot the arrow.

"I am Lyn of the tribe Lorca, who are you?" Lyn asked the man.

"…" replied the man.

"Well, it is very nice to meet you Rath," Lyn said. Everybody else greeted Rath and then asked him why the town was in such a commotion.

"……, ………! …………." Rath explained.

"We must save the marques!" Kent shouted.

"We must also warn the townspeople," Mark said. "Let's stop over there first." They went into a house that was directly north of where they were.

"Why did you just walk into my house? Who do you think you are? Get out now!" yelled the house's residence. Mark and Lyn ran out of the house, with various things being thrown at their heads. One of those things happened to be a human being.

"Who are you?" Lyn asked the man.

"I am, Matthew," said the man. "I am a master in acquisitions of all kinds!"

"So, you're a…pick pocket?" asked Mark.

"NO! I am a thief," Matthew said.

"So, you're a pick pocket," Lyn said.

"Yeah, more or less," Matthew said. They then took him to the rest of the group

"Matthew, this is Rath, another new guy," Lyn said.

"…" Rath said. Matthew looked at him funny.

"All right, moving on," Matthew said, stealing Rath's wallet.

"Let's get going," Lyn said. They fought their way through many enemies, until they reached the final switch, which was guarded by a knight.

"1 w1 n0t #3t 05 p4$$! 05 w1 n3v3r pr3$$ th1$ b5tt0n!" the knight said.

"NO! NOT ANOTHER ONE! I COMMAND YOU TO DIE THIS INSTANT!" Mark yelled at the knight.

"Wh P0 05 3 4t m3 $0?" the knight asked. They then attacked the knight with the armor slayer the Matthew "found."

"You are defeated!" Mark said, rejoicing the fact that he escaped this one sane. Then, all of the sudden, the knight got back up as if he had never been dead. Then, just as suddenly, Glass appeared.

"You speak bizar!" Glass said.

"$0 P0 05! Wh P0n't w3 t34m 5p 4g41n$t th3m," the knight said to Glass.

"That rings as a good idea at me," Glass said. They then started to merge together, forming one body.

"Th3 P0 n0t f1nP 05 #5(k 4g41n$t g#4$$ 0f 1337 h5m4n$! 4 7h1$ b5770n 4r3 b3#0n9 70 m3!" the newly formed man said.

"THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN! THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN! LA, LA, LA, LA, LA" Mark yelled, holding his ears. Matthew looked at him like he was crazy.

'What have I gotten myself into?' Matthew thought. The rest of the group was busy fighting the, uhhh, Glass-1337 man.

"Th3 (4nn0t P3f34t m3! 1 4m 1nv1n(3b#3! Th31r 4tt4(k$ 4r3 w0rth#3$$!" shouted the Glass-1337 man. Everyone eventually went insane, so Glass-1337 man left, to come back another day. Everyone eventually got him or herself together, and pushed the button and a door opened to the marquis's chamber.

"Hello, are you the people who repelled the people assaulting my castle?" said the marquis.

"Yes, and I understand that you are offering us some help," Lyn said.

"No, no one mentioned that you were Sacaean," the marquis replied. "I hereby withdraw my offer."

"Why you little bastard," Lyn said. "Why would me being Sacaean have anything to do with you giving us help?"

"I have my reasons," the marquis responded. Lyn left , in a huff.

"Will you not reestablish your offer to help?" Kent asked.

"Yeah, what did Lyn ever do to you?" Florina said, angrily.

"Shut up wench!" the marquis shouted at Florina, who began to cower behind Sain because she had used all the courage to shout at the marquis.

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Florina screamed. Lyn heard this and immediately blamed the marquis.

"MARQUIS ARAPHAN!" Lyn shouted at the top of her lungs. She immediately asked Florina what happened, she told her, and it took the entire town to hold her back from killing the marquis. "HE WILL DIE FOR HURTING FLORINA!" she shouted continuously.

"You may want to run now," Kent suggested. The marquis ran around the corner and out of sight. Lyn immediately calmed down.

"Alright, let's go," Lyn said. They left but they were stopped shortly after they left by Rath.

Flashback…

The marquis had just rounded the corner.

"…" Rath said to the man.

"Oh, its you, Rath," the marquis said.

"……!" Rath yelled.

"What I said to her has no effect on you," the marquis said.

"……………!" Rath said, then he left.

End Flashback…

"………" Rath said to Lyn. He began to reach for his wallet, only to find it gone. "………………!" Rath yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Who would steal your wallet?" Lyn said. "Oh yeah. Matthew!"

"Yes…" Matthew said nervously.

"Give Rath his wallet back right now!" Lyn shouted.

"All right, all right! Jeez," Matthew said, handing over the wallet.

"Okay! Let's get to an inn that isn't in that town," Lyn said. And so they set off, but they can't make it to the inn yet because we are only on page 4, so…

"1 4m 1n th3 b4(k, 05 1 m1$$3P!" Glass-1337 man said, leaping out of the bushes.

"OKAY! THAT DOES IT! ERK COME BURN THIS THING TO HELL!" Mark yelled to Erk.

"With pleasure," Erk said, pulling out his Fire tome. He cast Fire on the fusion man and he began to die.

"Th3 P0 n0t h4v3 1nt3nP3P t0 $p34k #4$t 0n3$ 0f m3. 1 w1 t5rn!" said the now melting man. They then went on to the inn.

When they got to the inn and the same old innkeeper greeted them.

"Hello, how are you on this fine day?" the innkeeper asked.

"……….! …," Rath said to the innkeeper.

"Well, it sounds like you had a busy day," the innkeeper replied, "Well, we'll get some rooms ready." With that, the innkeeper went off.

"Okay," Kent said, "to the bar!"

"Don't you think you getting drunk this morning?" Sain asked.

"Yeah, until we encountered Glass again," Kent said.

"Good point," Sain said, "Hey, barkeep, a drink for me and my friend." He and Kent then drank it down in one gulp and continued to order drinks.

"All right," Mark said, "Hey Lyn."

"Yeah, what?" Lyn said, noticing what Kent and Sain were doing. "How drunk do you think that they'll get?"

"I'm not sure," Mark replied. "Kent will probably get so hammered that he'll make the mistake of calling you mommy."

"Remember when you did that?" Lyn said.

"Of course, it was only a few days ago," Mark replied. "Hey, do you think that we can continue the sword training?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to," Lyn said, dragging Mark out of the inn to find a clearing for the practice. Mark gave Sain the high sign. And Sain acknowledged him. He got up from the bar and went over to Florina.

"Hello," Sain said to Florina. He was having a hard time standing, because he had drank too much.

"Sain, how many have you had?" Florina asked.

"I haven't had anymore than Kent," Sain responded.

"He smells like a distillery!" Florina said. "He's probably drunken enough alcohol to take out a bull elephant."

"Psh… Bull elephants, lightweights," Kent said. It was then that Sain nearly passed out on Florina.

"Sain, wake up! Get off me! Kent, could you ummm… help me," Florina said nervously.

"What?" Kent asked. Then he saw Sain passed out on Florina. "I don't think I'll help, I want to see how much of Sain survives when Lyn sees this."

"Wil, will you help me?" Florina asked. Wil just shook his head.

"Will anyone help me?" Florina asked, starting to get a little scared. She had never been this close to a man. '_Come on, you know that you like this_' a little voice said. Florina looked around for a minute before realizing that it was in her head. 'What do you mean?' Florina asked back. '**Get him off now, he's a man!**' another voice said. Florina assumed that they were both in her head. 'Would you just shut up?' Florina thought angrily. The voices were just about to respond before Lyn came into the inn. '_This is going to be good!'_

"………………SSSSAAAAIIIIINNNN!" Lyn shouted. This caused Sain to wake up. He noticed that he was lying on top of something warm and squishy. He found that it was Florina, and immediately got off to avoid hurting her. Then he noticed Lyn and curled up into a fetal position.

"I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" Sain said as he rocked back and forth.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR HURTING FLORINA!" Lyn yelled at the top of her lungs. This time, I don't think even Hawkeye could hold her back. She jumped on Sain and beat the crap out of him. Sain died soon after.

"Why did you kill Sain!" Florina asked her friend. She began to cry, despite herself.

"I'm sorry Florina, I didn't know," Lyn said. She didn't even need to ask.

Meanwhile…

Sain woke up, he noticed that he was in a place that was filled with nothing but white light.

"Am I dead?" Sain asked, but nobody answered. He floated by himself in the space for a while. Then someone with red hair and wearing blue clothes appeared.

"DAMMIT!" he yelled.

"Do you know where I am?" Sain asked the stranger.

"You are in the white space, the holding area for those who have died, who are too important for the author to leave dead. That is until he uses some sort of contrived plot device," the boy said.

"Well, do you know how I can get out?" Sain asked.

"Sure do, just let me stop by my room and get something," the red haired boy said.

"Wait, if you have to die to come here, then why do you have your own room?" Sain asked.

"Well, I'm in and out of here so many times that the landlord just gave me my own room," the boy replied. "I even have a stable for my horse. Here we go," he said, pulling out a rapier.

"Well, how do I get out?" Sain said.

"By opening up a plot hole," the boy replied.

"How do we do that?" Sain asked.

"Like this!" the boy said as he sliced a hole in the white space big enough for Sain to fit through. "Alright, you just go right on through." Sain complied and found himself in the inn's lobby, with all of the lights out.

"Hello," Sain called out, "is anyone in here?" He then heard a familiar voice.

"Sain, is that you," the voice said.

"Yes, it is I, is that you Florina?" Sain responded. Florina came out of nowhere and gave him a big hug.

"But how are you alive?" Florina asked. Sain then repeated his experience in the white space. "Wow, but how can we live with such a gaping plot hole?"

"By never speaking of this incident again," Sain responded.

But we buried you, how can you be here if you never came up from your grave?" Florina asked.

"That's why it's a plot hole," Sain replied. "By the way, where is everybody?"

"Oh, they went to bed a while ago," Florina answered. "I didn't feel like it so I stayed down here, and I'm glad that I did!" said Florina as she hugged him even tighter.

"Alright, it's time for bed," Sain said. Then they went back to the room.

* * *

Kilroy: Well, how did you like it.

Lute: That has got to be the most contrived plot device I have ever heard.

Zero: Whatever.

Lyn: I thought that it was good.

Lute: WHAT! (slaps Lyn in the face)

Lyn: What was that for!

Lute: For complimenting Kilroy's work.

Hoobob: I think it sucked!

Kilroy: WHAT! (slaps Hoobob in face)

Hoobob: What was that for!

Kilroy: For insulting my work! Well it time for…

Reviewer's Corner 

**Rlnaruhina:** I would never delete this, so long as you keep giving support. Thank you for trying to recruit people. I hope you don't mind me using Florina's mental voices. And does this boss battle make up for the lack of one last chapter?

**Dairokkan:** I know what you mean. My nine year old sister is the same weight as I am! Bad mental image.

**SkyeDunhart:** Nobody did. And I gave a reason for OOCness at the end of one of the chapters.

Kilroy: That's it for the reviews, now you all better review next time, or else.


	10. Chapter 10

Kilroy: I AM BORED! So, I'm updating.

Lute: Help us Lord!

Zero: HOLY CRAP! HE'S UPDATING AGAIN! RUN AWAY!

Hoobob: My brain is still recovering from the last chapter!

Lyn: I DON'T REALLY CARE!

Kilroy: Well, it's good to see that someone has the right frame of mind. You get fifty points!

Lyn: Awesome!

Hoobob: When did we start a point system?

Kilroy: Ever since you guess turned into assholes, that way, I wouldn't ever give any out.

Zero: You ass!

Kilroy: And you'll notice that I don't have any points.

Hoobob: Ha!

Kilroy: Cause I cashed them in to get this!

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

Zero: You bought him using points?

Kilroy: Actually, he's on permanent loan from Nergal until they get to his boss battle.

Hoobob: How do you change what he says?

Kilroy: NO MORE QUESTIONS! START THE FIC NOW!

* * *

Lyn had just gotten up. She looked over at Mark, whom she had shared her room with last night. He was still sleeping. "Mark, it's time to wake up." 

"I don't wanna," Mark said. "You killed my friend last night." Lyn just looked ashamed of herself.

"Well, at least get up for breakfast," Lyn said. Mark started to stir, but didn't really get up. She walked down to the lobby, and saw Florina eating breakfast, actually looking happy. "Why are you so happy this morning?" Lyn asked her friend.

"It's a secret," Florina said, smiling happily.

"Weren't you bummed about Sain dieing last night?" Lyn asked. Florina just smiled. "What ever. Hey, barkeep can I get a drink?"

"Lyn, we all had a lot to drink last night, maybe you should just lay off it," Florina said to her friend out of concern.

"Ehhh shudup," Lyn told her friend. Florina just shrugged and went back to eating her breakfast happily. Just then Mark came down.

"Why are you so happy?" Mark asked Florina.

"It's a secret," Lyn told her friend. "You want a drink?"

"Yeah, sure," Mark said. They both began to drink, although lightly. "Hey, does anyone know where Kent is?" Mark said.

"Oh, he drank himself into a coma, and is over in the corner," Florina responded to his question in a very happy sounding voice. Mark looked over there and grimaced at the sheer amount of whisky bottles surrounding Kent's body. Dorcas and Wil came down at the same time, for they had shared a room.

"Hello, has Kent…" Dorcas said before, well you know what happens by now.

"Woken up yet, no," Lyn replied.

"Well, whatever," Wil said. "I just hope that he wakes up eventually." Everyone just sat around for a while before there was a commotion in the hallway.

"MATTHEW GIVE ME BACK MY FIRE TOME!" a voice that sounded a lot like Erk's shouted, "GIVE ME BACK MY WALLET TOO!"

"Why should I, you just left them lying on the dresser," a voice that sounded like Matthew's said.

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK MY ROOMMATE WOULD BE STEALING THEM!" Erk shouted back.

"Matthew, give Erk his stuff back now!" Lyn shouted towards their room.

"Good. Hey, I HAD A VULNERY IN HERE TOO! WHERE IS IT?" Erk shouted at Matthew. Matthew gave it back and they came out for breakfast. After eating, they noticed that Rath and Serra hadn't come out of their room yet.

"Okay, brace yourselves," Lyn said. "Rath has probably gone insane. Erk, you be ready." Erk nodded in agreement. They opened the door and were shocked at what they found. Serra was curled up in a corner, crying.

"The voice just won't go away," she said to herself. "I hope Erk comes here soon. I really missed him last night. I wonder if I can room with him tonight. I don't care who I room with so long as it's not with him. He just wouldn't stop talking. ERKY! DID YOU COME TO SAVE ME!" She then ran out and grabbed onto Erk. He just sort of sat there, going insane. Everybody looked at Rath.

"…………" Rath said, shrugging. Everyone just looked at Serra while she hugged Erk, who was trying to curl up into a fetal position, but Serra wouldn't let him. They assumed that she was crazy.

"Oh well, another one goes insane," Mark said. "I think that's everybody, so get your things, we're leaving."

"But Kent is still asleep," Wil said.

"Yeah, we can't…" Dorcas said before, you know.

"Leave without Kent!" Sain said, having emerged from his room.

"Oh, good morning Sain," Mark said. "SAIN!" Mark said while doing a double take. Everybody else looked to see if Mark wasn't hallucinating. Everybody's eyes budged.

"AHHHH! ZOMBIE!" Lyn shrieked, pulling out her sword. She had attacked Sain before anyone could react.

"Lyn, you almost killed him again!" Florina yelled. "SERRA, HEAL HIM NOW!"

"What if I don't want to?" Serra said. Florina pulled out her lance.

"THIS!" Florina yelled as she shattered a vase with the lance. Serra dived behind Erk.

"Erky, save me!" Serra said from behind Erk.

"Not a chance, just heal him," Erk said, getting out of Florina's way. "I might enjoy this. Hey, Florina, can I finish he off if she doesn't agree to heal Sain?"

"Sure, you disserve that much at least. So, what's your answer?" Florina said, looking absolutely pissed off. Serra gave up and healed Sain, who got up and hid from Lyn, behind Florina.

"SAIN! GET AWAY FROM FLORINA!" Lyn shouted out of habit. She rushed Sain, but Florina stopped her.

"IF YOU HURT HIM AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU!" Florina shouted at her friend. Everyone cowered in fear of Florina for a good long while. Serra hid behind Erk. Erk kept trying to keep Serra from behind him. Mark and Lyn where huddled in a corner. Everyone else was doing similar things.

While this whole thing was going on…(The following was going on in Florina's mind)

"_Why are you so happy that that man's back!" _the wimpy, man fearing voice said.

"**So what if she is,**" the other voice said, "**at least now I might get laid!**"

"_What did you just say!"_

"**You heard me! Now, Florina, what are you going to do first when he wakes up?**"

"I'm not entirely sure, depends on how everyone else acts," Florina said. They go on like this for a while, until Sain came out of their room.

"**There's your man!**"

"_You stay away from him, you know he's a womanizer!_"

"**That's what makes it so fun!**"

"Why don't you guys just stay out of it?"

"**Shut up this is none of your business**"

"_Actually…_"

"**You stay out of this you pansy!**"

"Wait, if we both have to stay out of this, then how do we have our 'discussion'"

"_Yeah, maybe you should stay out of this!_"

"**But if I do, you'll convince her to stay away from him and I'll never get laid!**"

"Is that all you ever think of?"

"**I am your naughty side**"

"Well, whatever. HEY! Lyn just tried to kill Sain again!"

"_Well, let her finish the job!_"

"**No, you have to stop her, wait, maybe Sain would be interested in a three way with Lyn.**"

"_That has got to the most disgusting thing that I have ever heard!"_

"**You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first.**"

"_No, I'm disgusted that you would even think that I would think that!_"

"**Hey, where did Florina go?**"

"_Maybe we should check the eyes._" They walk to where the eyes are in the head.

"**Wait, we're voices, how can we walk?**"

"_Shut up! Hey, eyes, _what's_ going on outside?_"

"Well," the eyes said, "Florina just saved Sain's ass from more death dealing from Lyn."

"**Ha, I win!**"

"_You haven't won yet, bitch!_"

"**Did you just call me a bitch?**"

"_Yeah._"

"**Well, thank you!**"

"_I'm so going to kick your ass!_"

"**Bring it you little man-hating bitch!**" They too voices get into a fistfight. Florina comes back to find them still beating the crap out of each other.

"Wait, how can voices get into a fistfight."

_**How should I know, this is your head.**_

"Wait, how did you get in here?"

_**See previous statement.**_

Back outside Florina's head…

There was nothing interesting going on.

End Chapter.

JUST KIDDING!

"JEEZ, the narrator is an ass," Mark said.

"I agree," Lyn said. Everyone had recovered from Florina's outburst. It was now about 3:00PM and they hadn't left the inn.

Next time on The Transdimensional Adventures of Mark…

Will Glass-1337 man show up again? What will Nils be like? How insane will he drive our heros? Will Sain and Florina ever kiss?

_**Hoobob, just shut up.**_

You gave me this job, so you have to put up with it.

* * *

Kilroy: Yeah, another chapter is complete! 

Lute: Thank God!

Zero: Rebooting…

Hoobob: Can I come out of the padded room yet?

Lyn: No!

Kilroy: Another fifty points for Lyn!

Lute: I've been a bigger asshole to Hoobob and never got any points.

Kilroy: He wasn't insulting my work when you where being an ass to him. And now it's time for…

Reviewer's Corner 

**Rlnaruhina:** I don't mind how long the reviews are, in fact, the longer the better. I'm sorry that you're only partially literate in 1337. To tell the truth, I'm not that literate either, I just used this 1337 translator that I found on the Internet. The voices are back, so if you don't like what I did with them, just tell me and I'll stop using them. I'm glad that you are working so hard to get people to read my story. And I did read JSB's fic and I reviewed it too. The plot hole stuff is really fun to write, because you can do whatever you want, then explain it away with a plot hole. There, a long reply to a long review.

**Dairokkan:** Did you mean my sister being an ogre by othlass? Whatever, well, interesting review, keep it up.

**JSB:** I thank you for reviewing. I'm sorry I can't really think of anything else to say.

**Cool-chan:** Don't worry, all of the sane people will go insane eventually, just give it time. Everyone has gone temporarily insane so far. I might find a use for that later. And yes, very subtle. Pokepokeblinkblink

Kilroy: Yes, I have tied my all time high. WAHOO! ORANGE SODAS ALL AROUND!

Lute: All right, well everyone review this time too, or else.

Kilroy: Everyone who reviews gets a Zero plushie! (Pulls out a Zero plushie out of a pile."

Zero: Am I going to have to burn those?

Kilroy: Don't worry, you can't, they're fire proof. I learned from Karel's dissension to burn his plushies. See you all next time.

Lute: Please save us!


	11. Chapter 11

Kilroy: Hello again!

Lute: Hey.

Zero: Zzzz…

Hoobob: Whatever.

Lyn: Hi!

Kilroy: Why is Lyn the only one with any enthusiasm? She gets ten more points.

Hoobob: We're just tired. You've updated so many times that we're out of energy.

Zero: My batteries are dry.

Lute: My brain's fried.

Kilroy: I'll give you a break after this one. (maybe)

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

Lute: He is starting to get annoying.

Kilroy: Who cares, start the fic.

* * *

Lyn and he group had just left the inn. The narrator was being an ass, HEY! Anyway… they had set off for their next day's adventure.

"Man, I'm BORED!" Mark said. He didn't really have a guy to talk to, since Sain was with Florina. He decided to go talk to Lyn, maybe she would have something interesting to talk about. "Hey Lyn."

"Hi Mark," Lyn said, "What's up?"

"Nothing much," Mark replied. "Do you think that anything interesting will happen today?"

"Knowing the Author, yeah," Lyn said. They just walked along, bracing themselves for their eventual insanity.

Meanwhile…

"Hey, we forgot Kent!" Sain said. "We're going to have to go back and get him."

"All right. We should go tell Lyn. I'll be right back," Florina said.

"Hey, wait for me!" Sain yelled after her. They rode up to Lyn.

"Lyn," Florina shouted to her friend, "We forgot Kent back at the inn!"

"No we didn't," Lyn replied. "He's right over there." She pointed to where Kent, Dorcas, and Wil were talking. Sain rode up.

"Wait, weren't you in a coma?" Sain asked.

"I got better," Kent replied.

"How'd you catch up?" Sain asked.

"A wizard did it," Kent said.

"I cannot wait to meet this wizard!" Lyn shouted, causing all to sweatdrop. Since everyone knew that Kent was back, they kept going. They eventually ran into two children with teal hair. One, the girl was holding back the other, a boy.

"Come on, let me go back in and get it," the boy begged with his companion.

"NO! You do not need that much sugar," the girl replied. Just then a blonde haired stranger came out of the house next door.

"Hello," the stranger said, "what seems to be troubling you?"

"She won't let me go back in and get my Orange soda stash!" Nils said. The stranger went inside and got the Orange soda stash, but the guy who owned the house drank it all.

"So, you want to go get some Orange soda?" Nils asked.

"DO I!" the stranger replied. Just then, another one of those "damn ominous thunder" bolts came down and struck the ground in front of the boy. A boy with messy brown hair, wearing jean shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals appeared where the bolt struck.

"Did I hear Orange soda!" the new stranger asked.

"Yeah, do you want to join us?" the boy asked.

"Is Lute a bitch?" the brown haired stranger asked. They then ran off to the nearest convenience store. The girl sweatdropped. This was not going to be good when they came back. She noticed a group of people riding up to meet them.

"Hello," the girl said, "can you help me?"

"Why of course beauteous one. How may I be of assistance to you?" Sain asked.

'**Are you going to let him get away with that!**' One of Florina's voices said.

'_I told you he couldn't be trusted!_' the other said.

'Would you just leave me alone!' Florina thought back. "GET YOUR LECHEROUS ASS AWAY FROM HER! YOU'RE MINE!" Florina shouted at Sain, who was hitting on the new girl.

"Ow! Hey! That does not bend that way! I'm sorry! Please stop!" Sain said, with Florina dragging him away. Everyone just ignored them, valuing their fragile sanity.

"So what did you want our help with? We can probably help! What's your name? Mine's Serra! Who was that boy you were with? Is he your boyfriend? He's cute! You have some competition now!" Serra said, before walking away to abuse Erk.

"Okay…" the girl said, "I hope all of you aren't as bad as her." "By the way, my name's Ninian."

"Okay Ninian," Lyn said, "how can we help you?"

"Well, there's this guy after us and we need help getting him off our backs," Ninian said. Just then a man wearing a pure purple cloak walked up. Ninian hid behind Lyn.

"I believe that you have something that belongs to me," the purple clothed man said.

"For the last time," Ninian shouted at him, "I am not one of your hoes!"

"What!" Lyn shouted, obviously confused. "What did you say?"

"I said that I am not his ho!" Ninian said, obviously pissed. "Now, I want to whup his ass, but I can't use a weapon."

"Where is Nils, my pimp in training?" the guy asked.

"And Nils is not your protégé!" Ninian yelled at the man.

"What is your name?" Lyn said more as a demand than a request.

"I am A pimp named Heintz," he replied. Everyone just looked at him.

"Well Heintz…" Lyn said before she was cut off.

"No, it's A pimp named Heintz, you got to say the whole thing," Heintz said.

"Did I hear the word pimp?" Sain said. "Ow! I already told you that don't bend that way! Please!" Sain shouted as Florina got back at him for that comment. Everyone sweatdropped.

"She's spunky. Hey do you want to be a ho?" Heintz asked Florina. Sain walked up to Heintz and gave him the death glare before kicking his ass. Heintz just got back up. "It's going to take more than that to get rid of me!"

'**You know, being a ho might not be that bad.**'

'_What could possibly be good about being a ho? You have to interact with men on a regular basis!_'

'**It the interaction that I'm interested in.**'

'_You never cease to disgust me!_'

'**I know. Isn't it great!**'

'Would you two just shut up for once, jeez. I like to be around him, but I don't want to go quite that far yet.'

'_KILL THE MAN SYMPYTHIZER!_'

'**KILL THE MAN HATER!**' Both of the voices begin to chase Florina, in an attempt to kill her and take over. Needless to say they realized that they couldn't live without her and stopped.

Back in the real world…

"I'll take this bitch now. I have some appointments lined up for you," Heintz said, grabbing Ninian. He began to run off towards an old castle. "Minions," Heintz yelled, "ATTACK!" As he said that, a bunch of shamen appeared. Just then, Nils and his new friends came out of the convenience store.

"I believe that I can help with this," the blonde one said. With that, he attacked with a Lightning attack. The shaman began to melt.

"GOOD LORD," the shaman screamed, "Why is this happening to me!"

"Because you're the bad guy," the brown haired stranger said, "and I think it's funny. Oh… wait… did you say _good_ Lord? Never mind then." Everyone looked at him for a second.

"WAIT, YOU'RE THE AUTHOR," Mark shouted, "GET HIM!" Everyone began to chase Kilroy.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" Kilroy shouted as he ran away.

_**Kilroy, you better get back up here. Zero is throwing a "Kilroy isn't here" party.**_

"I'll be there momentarily Lyn," Kilroy said. "See you later Lucius and Nils." He did the secret Orange Soda Lover handshake with them. "ORANGE SODA LOVERS UNITE!" Then Kilroy disappeared in a flash of bright light. Everyone was dumb founded.

"What just happened?" Lyn asked. Mark just shrugged.

"We still have to rescue Ninian," Mark said. Sain caught sight of Lucius. He began to walk over there but, Ninian stopped him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Florina asked. Sain stood there thinking for a second.

"I was… um… getting you some flowers…" Sain said, starting to sweat. Florina looked at him for a second.

"All right then, hurry up," Florina said, knowing his true motives. She sighed.

Serra walked up to Lucius. Lucius looked at her. "Hello, Sister…" Lucius said, waiting for a name from Serra.

"…Serra. You had better stay away from me! I don't want any competition for Erky or Nils! If you're a fellow follower of St. Elimine, then you should be glad we took a vow of antiviolence! Just stay away from Erky and Nils pretty girl!" Serra spouted.

"Umm… I'm a GUY!" Lucius yelled, "I DON'T SEE HOW ANYONE COULD GET THAT WRONG! I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN HAVE BOOBIES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE!" With that, he stormed away. Everyone stood there, just stupefied.

"Wow…" Mark said. "I can understand being mad about being mistaken for a lady, but… jeez." Lyn nodded in an agreement. They set off for the old castle to rescue Ninian from that pimp.

"I see that you ladies came back so, I guess you really do want to be hoes," Heintz said. Lyn gave him the death glare and he somehow just died.

"Well, that was easier than expected," Mark said. "Let's go get Ninian." They entered the castle and searched for Ninian. A red haired boy emerged, carrying Ninian.

"You pervert, you had your way with Ninian didn't you!" Nils shouted.

"No, in fact I stopped that from happening," the red haired boy said, "I saved her from a man with green armor." Florina's head snapped and looked at the red haired kid.

"SSSSAAAAIIIINNNN!" she shouted.

"What?" Sain said, appearing behind her with flowers in hand.

"Did you try to take advantage of Ninian!" Florina yelled at him.

"No, I was busy searching for flowers to match your beauty," Sain said, "but I found none." Florina fell for that corny line and got all teary eyed.

"Gee…" Mark said, "either he's really good at bullshitting or he really was looking for flowers." Just then Glass-1337 man came through the door.

"N0 w4$ 1 0f th1$ 1t m4d3," Glass-1337 man said.

"NO! NOT YOU AGAIN! ERK, YOU VAPORIZE HIM LIKE LAST TIME!" Mark yelled. Glass-1337 man left, horrified of what would happen. Mark sighed a sigh of relief. "Thank God!"

"We had better get to an inn," Lyn said. "It's starting to get late." They left for the inn.

Later, at the inn…

"Well, the first order of business is to pick out room arrangements," Mark said.

"I call Sain!" Florina shouted.

"I call Florina!" Sain shouted at the same time as Florina. They just looked at each other and blushed.

"3…2…1…" Matthew said softly.

"AWWWWW…" everyone awed at once, ruining Sain and Florina's moment.

"You guys are assholes!" Sain shouted. Florina was hiding behind him. Everyone laughed, enjoying the little joke. They moved on.

"Nils and Ninian, since your brother and sister, you two can share a room," Lyn said.

"All right," Ninian said.

"And now," Mark said, "it's time for the Serra and Kent drawings!" He handed out pieces of paper to everyone. "Now, everyone write your names on these and, put them in this hat. And we'll know if you don't write your name." Everyone did as they were told. He began to fish around in the hat. "First is Serra and the loser is…" Mark said, unfolding the piece of paper, "…Matthew!"

"WHAT!" Matthew shouted.

"Serves you right for stealing my stuff!" Erk shouted.

"And the next loser, the one who has to help Kent into bed is…" Mark said, "… Dorcas!"

"But…" Dorcas said.

"It's a pain in the ass, I know, but someone has to do it," Lyn said, looking over at Kent, who was already drunk on othlass.

"Are you my mommy?" Kent asked Dorcas, who was just stupefied. "Can I go streaking again mommy?"

"Maybe you should just got to…" Dorcas said.

"But I don't want to go to bed!" Kent said, before passing out. Dorcas hauled him off to their room.

"You're my roommate tonight! You're kind of cute! Do you have a girlfriend! I wish I had a boyfriend! Why doesn't anyone like me? I'm sad now! I'm going to bed!" Serra said. Matthew looked relieved. Maybe he wouldn't wake up insane like so many others.

"Do you want to continue the sword training?" Lyn asked Mark. Mark began to think. If he told her that he only wanted to do that so that Sain could get close to Florina, she would kill him.

"All right," Mark said. Lyn dragged him outside. Just as they were getting some good training done, Mark's cell phone rang. 'Damn it,' Mark thought, 'let's just hope that Lyn doesn't here that.'

"What's that sound?" Lyn asked.

"What sound?" Mark said, hopefully.

"Maybe I'm just going crazy," Lyn said. Mark sighed. They finished up the training and went to bed. Mark snuck out of the room to call Kilroy back.

"What do you want Kilroy?" Mark said.

"I just wanted to let you know that I have finished reprogramming the transmission unit, so now we can talk to each other face to face," Kilroy said. Mark looked at the phone and saw Kilroy's face. "So, how's it been going?" Kilroy asked. "And why didn't you pick up a while ago?"

"You called at a bad time," Mark said.

"All right, you want to tell me anything going on there?" Kilroy said.

"I'll tell you another time," Mark said. "It's late." He then hung up on Kilroy and went to bed.

* * *

Kilroy: Yeah, I got an all time high in reviews.

Lute: What ever.

Zero: Zzz…

Hoobob: Same as Zero.

Lyn: What is wrong with you guys?

Kilroy: Oh well. Let's just get to the review corner.

Reviewer's Corner 

**Nightmare3:** Yes! I now write the most random thing in existence. Keep reading!

**Cool-chan:** Thank you for reviewing. Thank you for the inspiration for the Orange Soda Lovers. Yes, yes, very subtle indeed.

**JSB:** Thank you for reviewing. And I really like your fic. I might add it to my favorites if you add a few more chapters. (wink wink)

**Dairokkan:** Thanks for the explanation and the review.

**Rlnaruhina:** Thanks for the review. And thanks again for letting me use the voices.

**Vaun Harkinian:** Thanks for the review. And I toned down the 1337 in this chapter. I have received some complaints about that before.

**Fire Hippo:** I wish I could take credit for creating those voices, but they are Rlnaruhina's creations. Anyway… the Mark+Lyn thing goes like this. Sain asked Mark to distract Lyn so that Sain could talk to Florina. Mark had to come up with an excuse to keep Lyn distracted, so came up with the sword training excuse. As for what happened in the inn a little while ago, Mark didn't know that Sain and Florina had hooked up, so he was still distracting Lyn for Sain. That and I think Lyn likes him. And poptarts are okay. Are monkeys really taking over the world?

Kilroy: SEVEN REVIEWS! I'M FINALLY POPULAR ENOUGH TO GET SEVEN! YES!

Lyn: Wow. He's really happy about this. Please review this time too. Or else Kilroy won't update for a year!


	12. Chapter 12

Kilroy: Hello again everbody.

Lute: Hey.

Zero: Hi.

Hoobob: Whatever.

Kilroy: … Hey… where's Lyn?

Zero, Lute+ Hoobob: (Look around suspiciously) Um… we don't know.

Kilroy: You assholes didn't give her the memo again, did you?

Zero: Maybe…

Lute: Perhaps…

Hoobob: Yeah…

Lute: (slaps Hoobob) Why did you say that!

Zero: Let's leave them alone for a while.

Lute + Hoobob: (Fighting) YOU BITCH! YOU ASS!

Kilroy: Get a room you two!

Lute: WHAAAAT!

Hoobob: Why would I want to do her!

Lute: Are you saying I'm ugly!

Hoobob: No, I just don't like you!

Kilroy: We had better start the fic before this really gets ugly. And get Lyn on the phone now!

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

* * *

Mark woke up the next morning tired. Obviously he had stayed up too late talking to Kilroy. The training didn't help either. He looked over at the other bed, and found that Lyn was gone. 

"Where did she go?" Mark said to himself. "You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Mark said again to himself. "But only if you answer." Mark then proceeded to freak out.

Lyn was on her way back to her room. She had slept outside Florina's room just in case. She was exhausted, but she was going to get ready for the day any way. She walked into the room only to find Mark huddled up in a corner, arguing with himself.

"But I don't want to enslave the world" Mark said. "yoU WilL Do aS I saY Or yOU wiLL peRIsh!" "But you are a meany, I want my mommy!" "I HavE AlrEAdy DevoURed YOur MOthER, it IS onLY a mATteR Of tIMe bEForE I deVOur YOu tOO!"

"Mark," Lyn said, "are you okay?" She looked at her friend with a worried expression on her face.

"MArk IS fiNE, noW LeaVE us ALonE!" Mark said. "Lyn, help meee!" "SIleNCe yOU foOL, yoU WiLL do AS i sAY!" "But I don't want to!" "IF yoU Do nOT do AS i SAy, i WIll MAke YOu kILl hER!"

"Lucius," Lyn shouted, running to Lucius's room. She banged on the door. And Erk answered it.

"What do you want!" Erk shouted.

"I think that Mark is possessed!" Lyn said. "Wake up Lucius NOW!" Lucius came to the door.

"What is it?" Lucius said.

"MARK HAS BEEN POSSESSED!" Lyn shouted at the top of her lungs, waking up the entire group. Lucius rushed to Mark's room.

"Are you here to help me!" Mark said as Lucius entered the room. "SHut UP anD Go aWAy! i AM buSY!"

"Is that you, insanity?" Lucius said.

"WAit, ARe yOU LUciUS?" Mark said. "i hAVen'T SeeN You IN agES, so WHo iS DriVIng YOu iNSanE TheSE daYS?"

"No one really," Lucius said, "and can you get out of my friend? We kind of need him."

"OH, no PRobLEm," Mark said, "jUSt lET me FInd SOmeONe eLSe tO DriVE inSAne." Mark suddenly looked relieved. Lyn rushed up to him.

"Are you all right?" Ly said.

"Yeah, I think I'll be fine," Mark said. "How'd you do that?" Mark asked Lucius.

"Well, once, a long time ago," Lucius began, "I was driven to insanity. When you are driven to insanity, under certain circumstances a spirit possess you. Luckily for you, that was the one that possessed me a long time ago."

"Well, I'm just glad to be all right now," Mark said. "Now, what's for breakfast?" They all went down stairs to eat breakfast, but back in Erk's room...

"Well, I guess that there is nothing left for me to pack," Erk said to himself. "You know that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Erk said again to himself. "Yeah, but only if you answer..." Erk was freaking out mentally, but acted normally. 'YOu sHOulD KilL The FIrsT PerSOn yOU seE,' insanity said in Erk's mind. 'That depends on who it is,' Erk thought back. 'I HavE NevER poSSesSEd sOMeoNE whO AgrEEd tO Do iT The FIrsT TimE!' insanity said. 'Yeah, well I have to escort an even bigger annoyance all the way to Ostia.'

"Hey Erky! How are you this morning! I slept pretty well last night! I wonder what's for breakfast! Come on, let's go! I hope it's French Toast! I like French Toast! I wonder why its called French Toast! Do you know, Erky? Why aren't you coming with me to breakfast? Come on!" Serra erupted.

'I See WHat YOu mEAn,' insanity said. Then insanity went insane as it continued to listen to Serra. 'I think that you have some competition for your job.'

"Hey, where's Matthew?" Lyn asked Serra.

"I don't really know! Why don't you go check our room! I think that he would be in there! I wonder why I haven't seen him today! Do you think that he's going to be all right! I hope he's okay! He was cute," Serra said.

"I hope that that isn't where insanity went," Lucius said to Mark.

"I know what you mean," Mark said, "he was bad enough as a thief, but if someone is telling him to kill, I don't know what would happen." Kent then walked in, followed by Dorcas. Dorcas was holding his head, as if in extreme pain.

"What's wrong?" Lyn said.

"Well, Kent drank so much..." Dorcas said.

"That he got drunk off the fumes," Kent finished. "And now, he has a hangover." Everyone laughed. "Hey, is Sain up yet?"

"I don't really know," Mark said. He began to wonder what Sain was up to. He shook his head, 'BAD MENTAL IMAGE!'

"We had better wake them," Erk said. They all walked to Sain and Florina's room. They heard some noises from beyond the door.

"You two stop snogging, it's time to go," Mark said.

"What did you say!" Lyn shouted. She stormed to the door and broke it down.

"That's being added to your bill!" the innkeeper shouted at Lyn. She didn't really care, though. Her rational thought had been shut off.

'HE WILL DIE FOR THIS ONE I SWEAR!' Lyn thought to herself. She began to tear apart the room, looking for where Sain was hiding. She didn't seem to notice that Florina wasn't in the room either.

"Umm... Lyn, maybe you should calm down," Mark said.

"WHY!" Lyn shouted.

"Because," Mark said, "this appears to be a prank." Mark pointed to a stereo system pumping out the sounds that they had heard. Lyn stood there for a few minutes before her eye started to twitch.

"WHAAAAAAT!" Lyn shouted. She went storming off.

"Now what are we going to do?" Lucius said.

"Well, we sure aren't going to stop her," Kent said, "I value my life." Everyone agreed by nodding.

"Maybe we should look for Sain and Florina," Erk suggested. Everyone nodded again. They had better find them before Lyn does. Just then, Florina and Sain came out of the closet, laughing their asses off.

"I can't believe that she fell for it so easily!" Sain said.

"I know!" Florina said. Everyone just looked at them.

"You just came out of the closet!" Nils said. Everyone laughed at the obvious gay joke.

"But why were you hiding in the closet?" Mark asked.

"Well," Sain said, "we knew she would freak out, so we couldn't actually hide in the main part of the room."

"We also knew that she would stop searching the room as soon a someone pointed out the stereo," Florina said.

"So, what were you actually doing in there?" Kent said. Florina thought back.

'**You are in a closet with your man! Why aren't you trying anything?**'

'_Excuse me, I have to go barf now._'

'I don't know about doing something like that.'

'**You know you want to.**'

'_BARFFF... aug..._'

'I don't really think that I should.'

'**If you keep acting like this, I'll never get laid!**'

'_You sicken and disgust me. You know that don't you?_'

'**That's just a perk of the job.**'

'Will you two just shut up, you are going to drive me insane!'

'**Speaking of insanity, I think that the Society for Mental Voices sent a message that they were sending insanity to the general area.**'

'_OH NO! I hate him! He has got to be the biggest ass I have ever met._'

'**And if he had a body, I'm sure he'd have a nice one too.**'

At this time, fortunately for Florina, Sain interrupted her inner thoughts. "Hey, I think that Lyn just left," he said, "I think that it is safe to come out now."

"All right," Florina said. '**Damn, there went your chance.**'

Back to the present...

"We didn't do anything in that closet," Florina said.

"Yeah, we believe you," everyone said at once. Sain and Florina just sort of looked down, embarrassed.

"WHERE ARE THEY!" Lyn shouted.

"Maybe I should go talk to her," Mark said.

"Way to take one for the team!" Sain said. Mark went to Lyn, and actually managed to calm her down.

"We still have to wake up Ninian, Wil, and Rath," Mark said. They went to Ninian's room first. They saw that she was looking for something.

"Loose something?" Lyn asked Ninian.

"Yeah, my family heirloom," she replied. "I think that that idiot with the purple robe took it, we must go get it back."

"Okay, they went south right," Lyn said. "As soon as we wake Rath and Wil, we will leave." And so they went to Wil and Rath's room. They opened the door.

"..." Wil said. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. Rath came out.

"..., ..." Rath said.

"Oh, really," Lyn said, "And you're right, his accent is atrocious."

"Okay, I'll work on it," Wil said.

"Well, we're setting off for the fort to the south today," Lyn said, "We will be helping to recover something that Ninian lost."

"What is it?" Lucius asked.

"That is none of your concern, now let's get going," Lyn said. They paid the bill for the room repairs that were needed thanks to Lyn and left off to retrieve Ninian's heirloom. Matthew was waiting outside. He had escaped Serra in the night.

* * *

Kilroy: Well, did you guys enjoy your break? 

Zero: It was all right.

Hoobob: I caught up on my anime.

Lute: I got to catch up on my reading.

Lyn: I just showed up.

Kilroy: Huzzahs all around! Now onto the reviewer's corner!

Reviewer's Corner 

**Dairokkan:** Thanks for the review as always, but that Serra's brother idea may just be a bit to weird for this point in the fic.

**RLnaruhina:** I may just catch up to you. Thank you for reviewing and feel free to borrow insanity, since I use your voices. He's pretty much independent of characters, so pass him around.

**Shadow of Chaos:** YES! 150.97 cans of Orange Soda! I am really glad that you like this, too.

**Vaun Harkinian:** NOOOOOOOOOO! My orange soda! And Serra has ADD, we can't remember shit.

**Cool-chan:** Yes, reviews of insanity! Keep it up! And do I really want to know who Sain's guest was last night.

**JSB:** I don't really think that I am bashing Kent, but then again, making the most honorable character get drunk every night, might be the same thing.

**Fire Hippo:** I have turned a new one to the orange side of the force. And, I don't need any more muses. I already have four. And 1337 is a form of writing where you replace letters with numbers and symbols.

Kilroy: The updates on this one may slow down. I have started a new fic that I would like to work on, too. But don't worry; I'll still update this one frequently.

Lyn: R&R people, we need your support. And Kilroy wants to know if you would rather have him put up these morning chapters alone or with the rest of the day as well. Just put it in the reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

Kilroy: WAHOO! I got a snow day! I got a snow day!

Lyn: What is a snow day?

Kilroy: (too busy celebrating to realize someone asked a question) I got a snow day!

Lute: A pagan ritual where they eat babies.

Zero: Why would they eat babies?

Hoobob: Why don't you ask Kilroy, he obviously knows.

Lyn: Hey Kilroy!

Kilroy: What?

Lyn: Why do you eat babies?

Kilroy: I DON'T EAT BABIES! OR PEOPLE FOR THAT MATTER!

Lyn: But Lute said that a snow day is a pagan ritual where they eat babies.

Kilroy: Snow days are days where people get out of school because of the weather. LUTE! GET IN HERE NOW!

Lute: What?

Kilroy: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM THAT A SNOW DAY WAS A RITUAL TO EAT BABIES!

Lute: (looks around) …umm… (runs like hell)

Kilroy: Dammit! Zero, go get her. That is an order.

Zero: All right. (gives chase)

Lyn: Why does Zero do what you tell him to?

Kilroy: Because its one of the three laws. On with the fic!

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

Kilroy: (sweatdrops) Maybe its time to replace him.

* * *

Last time on The Transdementional adventures of Mark! Some crazy crap happened while everyone was waking up for the day! They then left to rescue an heirloom of Ninian and Nils's. We join them here, on the path leading to the fortress that housed the people who stole this item.

"Are we there yet? My feet are getting tired! I want something to eat! Does anyone have any food? Where can I get some food around here? Why isn't anyone answering me? Where are we going again? Are we there yet? My feet are getting tired! Erky! Carry me!" Serra said. Everyone was ignoring her, because she was annoying. That is until she jumped on Erk's back.

"Get off me!" Erk said. Serra just held on tighter. 'Great, now I have to carry her now.' 'yoU ShoULd kILl hER noW! It wOUld BE eaSY, alL You HAve TO do IS caST fiRE on HEr sORry ASs!' 'I know that, but I can't do that yet. I still have to get her to Ostia. Plus she is somewhat important. If I kill her, I'll be in really deep shit.' 'i AM inSAniTY i dO Not THinK AboUT coNSeqUEncES!' 'I don't care that you're insanity. I am not getting my ass killed because you told me to kill someone that I want to erase from my life just because you say so.' 'okAY, okAY, i'lL LeaVE yoU AloNE alREadY. At lEAst FOr nOW.'

Meanwhile...

"Sain," Florina said, "Where _did _you get that recording?"

"You remember that theory that Lyn explained a while back?" Sain asked.

"Umm... No..." Florina said. Sain thought back.

"Ooooh... that's right Mark, Kent, and I where the only ones around for that," Sain said. He then explained the Gag Reflex to Florina.

"So that's where you got that. Hmmm, I'm glad it wasn't some other way," Florina siad.

'**You know you wanted that to be real.**'

'_Why would she have wanted that!_'

'**I'm sure that you would have loved it too.**'

'Would you two stop bickering, I'm trying to talk to Sain!'

'**You lose!**'

'_Whatever. One slipup on Sain's part and I win._'

'heY How'S It gOIng LAdiES?'

'Where did you come from?'

'i cAMe fROm eRK, i dECidED to GIve HIm a LIttLE brEAk. sERra IS doINg mY Job FOr mE.'

'_YOU GET THE F-CK OUT OF HERE YOU ASSHOLE!_'

'cOMe oN BabY You CAn't STilL Be mAD abOUt tHAt, cAN yoU? ThaT Was A LonG TimE Ago.'

'_I will never forgive you for that!_'

'BUt bABy, i SAid I Was SOrrY.'

'_I'm not your _baby_ anymore! You had your chance, and now no one else will get one again!_'

'**I'm lost.**'

'So am I. What is going on here?'

'_This bastard cheated on me!_'

'I saID i wAS soRRy.'

'_No more out of you._'

'eEEp...'

'_Now where was I, oh yeah. I was actually dating this guy and he cheated on me with my sister._'

'i SAid I Was SOrrY!'

'_And I said SHUT UP! BUT THAT HASN'T CAUSED ANY CHANGE NOW HAS IT!_'

'Don'T HurT Me, i'LL be A GooD Boy I SweAR, juST doN'T kiLL me!'

'**I'm going to hide from her for a while.**'

'I'm leaving now, too.'

'I SaiD I waS SorRY. i'lL NevER do IT agAIn. pLEasE GivE Me aNOthER chANce. PLeaSE!'

'_FAT CHANCE! YOU'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE! IN FACT I SHOULD KILL YOU NOW!_'

'i aM GoiNG baCK to ERk's HEad NOw. cAN i lIVE ouTSidE Of tHIs hEAd?'

'_Just so long as I don't have to see you again._'

'**Jeez, remind me never to get on your bad side.**'

'_If you want to stay off my bad side, then stop trying to get Florina into bed with that cheating bastard!_'

'**But it's my job. If I don't do this I'll get fired, so shall we continue?**'

'_You go ahead, I have to get ready for insanity's eventual return. I had better dust off that mallet._'

'**Oh, so he likes it rough.**'

'_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! I'LL KILL YOU!_'

'**Help... RUN AWAY!**'

'I have got to get them out of here.' She came back from this inward conversation to find herself in a man's arms; unfortunately, she did not realize it was Sain. "EEEEEEEEEEK!"

"SAIN!" Lyn shouted.

"MARK DID IT!" Sain shouted back.

"Oh... MARK!" Lyn shouted.

"It wasn't me! I swear! Ow! That doesn't bend that way! OW! AH! OUCH! Why won't anyone help mehehehe!" Mark shouted, in extreme pain.

"We actually value our lives, so you're out of luck!" Kent replied.

"I agree," Wil said, "What do you think Dorcas?" Dorcas bent over and started to write on a white board with a marker. It made a squeaking sound.

"I think that he is out of luck too," the sign read.

"Why are you writing on that white board?" Kent asked. Dorcas erased what he had already written and wrote something else.

"I am tired of being interrupted, so I am going to write on this to avoid it happening," the sign read.

"What do you think of this development Rath?" Wil said to the nomad.

"..., ...!" Rath said.

"You're right, where is Matthew, I haven't seen him all day," Kent said. Dorcas began to write again.

"I think I saw him trying to rob Mark while Lyn was beating the crap out of him, but I haven't seen him since," the sign read.

"So, let's go find him!" Wil said in excitement.

"..., ..." Rath said.

"Oh, I guess you're right, but what else can we do. I'm bored!" Wil said.

"We could just sit back and enjoy the ride," Kent said, pulling out a jug of whiskey. Dorcas began to write on the sign again.

"Where did you get that?" the sign read.

"What? This?" Kent said, holding up the whisky bottle, "I bought it at the inn before we left. You want some?"

"..., ...!" Rath said.

"I'm under-aged," Wil said. Dorcas wrote on his sign.

"I'm not touching that stuff," the sign read. Just then a blur went by and the bottle was gone.

"WHERE THE F-CK DID MY WHISKY GO!" Kent shouted. He gave chase to the blur that was responsible for stealing his whisky.

"What is going on over here?" Lyn said, walking up to the group to find Kent chasing Matthew, who was holding a whisky bottle. With her was Mark. He was limping and with a black eye looked like he had just had the crap beaten out of him. Everyone looked at him.

"What!" Mark said, annoyed. He obviously was pissed about this predicament that he was in. "How far is it until we reach that fortress?"

"Well, it should be quite a while," Lyn said, "I'll ask Ninian, she escaped from there." She went to Ninian, who was walking with Erk, Serra, Lucius, and Nils.

"Hey," Nils said, "I don't want her on me either!"

"Well, I'm not taking her back!" Erk said, irritated.

"Why don't you just make her walk?" Lucius said.

"Because she is five hundred times more annoying when we force her to walk!" Nils and Erk responded at the same time.

"Jeez, all right," Lucius said, "Just so long as you don't drag me into it. I don't really care."

"Umm..." Lyn said.

"Oh, hello Lyn," Ninian said, ignoring the others, "Did you want something?"

"Yeah," Lyn said, "How far is it 'til we get to the fortress?"

"Oh, another mile or so," Ninian said.

"A mile!" Mark yelled, "I can't walk that far!"

"Why not?" Ninian said.

"Well..." Mark started to reply, "Lyn sorta broke my leg."

"I said I was sorry," Lyn said.

"Well, sorry doesn't fix it!" Mark said. He was obviously pissed off. He did have a pretty good reason though. "What do you propose we do about this?"

"I have an idea," Lyn said, "Sain! Get off your horse!"

"Why should I?" Sain said in response.

"Because I broke Mark's leg and you have someone else to share a ride with," Lyn said. When she said this, Florina blushed.

"3...2...1..." Matthew said, still being chased by Kent.

"Ahhhh..." everyone cooed at once, ruining the moment again. Sain looked pissed.

"You guys are still assholes," Sain said, pissed off. He got off his horse and handed the reins to Lyn. He then started to climb onto Florina's pegasus. She didn't mind, but the pegasus sure did. It began to buck, but Florina calmed it down. Florina's "naughty side" was having a field day. But Florina ignored her. Lyn helped Mark onto Sain's horse and then climbed on herself, someone had to make sure that Mark didn't fall off.

They continued to travel until they reached the fortress. Both Erk and Nils's backs hurt from having to carry Serra, everyone else was smart enough to avoid her. Everything was going smoothly until Mark had to get off of Sain's horse.

"I can't walk, so how am I supposed to get around this fort if I don't use a horse?" Mark complained.

"Well," Lyn said, "Sain is used to fighting with the horse, he may be useless without it. That and we can't have Florina and him riding together forever."

"I'm not complaining," Sain said, still on the pegasus with Florina. Lyn fumed silently.

"Well, I'm not going to get off until you find me a crutch or something," Mark said. Just then Serra walked up.

"You know, I can cure him with my stave! It would be really easy! All I have to do is this! And poof he's cured! Would you like me to heal him! You should have asked me sooner!" Serra spouted. Lyn smacked her forehead and Mark gave her a death glare for not remembering sooner. Serra healed Mark and they headed into the fort. They fought their way through many enemies until the reached the room where the leader was to be found.

"It reads, Beyard's Room. No girls allowed. What is that supposed to mean?" Lyn said, puzzled by the sign.

"I don't know," Mark said, his leg was still sore, so he was using a walking stick. "All I do know is that I don't want to go in there!"

"Fair, enough," Lyn said, But he may completely freak out if any girls go in there, so Sain, Kent, Wil, Dorcas, Erk, Rath, Matthew, Nils, and Lucius, you all go in there and kill him. The rest of us will stay out here and watch your rear."

'**I know whose rear I'm going to be watching.**'

'_You just need to shut up!_'

'**Make me.**'

'_Fine!_' As the voice said this, she pulled out a mallet.

'**RUN AWAY!**'

'If I'm not careful, you guys will drive me insane.'

'diD SomE One CAll?'

'_YOU GET OUT OF HERE NOW!_'

'ALl rIGht, JEez.'

'Now I know I'm insane.'

"But what about Mark?" Sain said.

"He still needs help walking," Lyn said.

"This is favoritism!" Kent shouted.

"So what if it is!" Lyn shouted. She then realized what she said and glanced over at Mark, who was asleep. Lyn sweatdropped. "Oh well." And so the rest of the men in the party went into the chamber.

I would like to apologize in advance to anyone who is offended by the proceeding boss battle. I like to exaggerate things for the sake of comedy. And I just couldn't resist.

"What was that all about?" Wil said. Dorcas began to write on his white board.

"You may want to take a look at this," the sign read. They all looked down the hallway leading to the real room. It was plastered with posters of famous men. Everyone was creped out by this. They continued down the hallway until they reached the doorway. When they opened the door they saw a man standing there holding a woman's play thing. (You know what I'm talking about.)

"What? Can't a guy play with his toys in peace?" the man said. Everyone barfed.

"Mommy," Nils said weakly.

"Oh, hello Nils," the man said, "how did you get out of your cage? Why don't you get back in and I'll get to you after the others." Everyone in the room barfed, save the man who said this.

"NO BEYARD! I AM NOT YOUR PLAYTHING!" Nils shouted. Everyone barfed except Beyard.

"I can't stand people like you! You are all like, 'Gays are icky.' Well I can't take it anymore!" Beyard said.

"But... Gays are icky," Wil said. BEyard started fuming. "Oh did I make the fag mad? What are you going to do about it cockmouth?"

"That's it, you are going down!" Beyard shouted, "You will feel my wrath!" With that, they started fighting. They were just about to kill Beyard when he said, "After you kill me, free all the children. They are in the room behind the poster of Brad Pitt." After he told them this, he died. Everyone barfed. They went into the room and saw countless cages holding children. There was a sign on the wall.

"No clothes below the waste and no questioning Beyard. These are the only rules." the sign read. Everyone tried to barf, but they had nothing left in their stomachs to barf up. They went around and Matthew picked the locks and freed the children. Then they all went out of the room and joined the others.

"So, how'd it go?" Mark said. Everyone that went in just sort of shuddered. "Never mind, I don't want to know." Everyone just sort of spread out and didn't speak for the remainder of the trip to the inn. Sain rode with Florina, who was comforting him. Mark and Lyn shared Sain's horse again. Everyone else that didn't have a horse complained.

"Hey, you can buddy up with Kent or Rath if you really want a ride," Lyn said. Everyone shut up after that comment. When they got to the inn they had to draw for their room assignments.

"And tonight's 'lucky' loser is..." Mark said, opening the paper, "...Erk. I'm sorry buddy, but you have to room with Serra this time." Erk's eye started to twitch.

"Urge to kill rising. Lose of control immanent," Erk said. Serra came up and started spewing sentences at Erk, who was starting to talk to insanity. 'Can I kill her now?' 'NO yoU Can NOt.' 'Why?' 'iT Is mY Job TO drIVe yOU inSAne UNtiL You GO on AN inSAne KIllINg sPRee. ANd i FIguRE thE BesT Way TO do THat IS to KEep YOu fROm kILinG SerRA whILe sTIll ENcoURagINg yOU to DO it.' 'You are an asshole.' 'I KnoW, Isn'T It gREat?' And with that, Erk and Serra went to bed.

"And the next 'lucky' loser is..." Mark said, opening the next piece of paper, "...Nils, you get Kent duty tonight."

"Man..." Nils said. Kent was already drinking, but he was not drunk yet. At the counter, most of the men were seated, drinking. Mark and Erk were the only ones that hadn't joined them. Soon everyone was drunk and hobbling to their rooms. Some had help, like Sain and Kent, but others had to find their way themselves. They plopped in their beds and fell asleep instantly. The only two left in the lobby were Lyn and Mark.

"So, how's your leg?" Lyn asked. She received a light death glare from Mark.

"I think it'll be all right by morning, but for now, it still kind of tender," Mark said.

"Would you like me to help you up to the room?" Lyn asked.

"Yeah, I would appreaciate that a lot. Thank you," Mark said.

"Well, I do feel sort of responsible," Lyn said, "I did break it in the first place. Wait, why didn't you use the I got better gag?"

"'Cause this is funnier?" Mark said, puzzled. And with that they went to bed.

* * *

Kilroy: I would like to apologize again for all of the gay jokes. I have nothing against gay people.

Lute: Why are you apologizing, you make fun of people all of the time?

Kilroy: Because that could actually offend people! And I do realize that most gay people don't act like Beyard here, but hey it's funnier if he acts like that. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain that no gays act like Beyard.

Zero: I still don't see the problem.

Kilroy: Okay, just drop it. I would like to thank all that reviewed.

Hoobob: But I still don't get why you keep apologizing for all the gay jokes.

Kilroy: I SAID DROP IT!

Hoobob, Lute+ Zero: (cower in corner)

Kilroy: Okay, on to the reviewer responses.

Reviewer's Corner 

**JSB:** I agree, that is Kent bashing. I'm planning on something with that hammer bit, but maybe later.

**RLnaruhina:** Yes, borrow away. I still owe you another voice if you take this one. Two if you don't. And the recording is explained.

**Shadow of Chaos:** Japanese mind control has a hold of you! And I write this story to coincide with the biorhythm induced upon the human mind while drinking orange soda, so yeah.

**Dairokkan:** I have no idea what Cloud is talking about. But that is good news.

**Cool-chan:** Yay! For a while I thought I would miss out on my review of insanity! The tactician has the choco! He will die for his treachery!

Kilroy: Well, only five this time. Oh well, keep reviewing. And since no one seems to have an oppinion about the morning chapters, I will keep doing them as is. (becomes possessed) You will review this chapter or you will perish!


	14. Chapter 14

Kilroy: (wearing hat shaped like a hamburger) Hello everybody!

Lute: What's with the hat?

Hoobob: It's kind of fruity.

Zero: I agree with Hoobob.

Lyn: I think it's cute.

Kilroy: Ha! In your face Hoobob!

Lute: Still looks fruity.

Kilroy: Well, I'm going to give Lyn fifty more points. And then I'm going to take off this hat.

Hoobob: So much for not caring what we thought.

Kilroy: Actually. It's itchy. (takes off the hamburger hat)

Lyn: (picks it up and puts it on) You're right. It is itchy!

Kilroy: (takes hat from Lyn and puts it back on) Now that that has been established... ON WITH THE FIC!

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

Kilroy: I can't wait 'til they kill him off.

* * *

Florina woke up and got out of bed, but just before she started to get ready, she noticed that is was still dark. She looked over at Sain's sleeping form. He was breathing peacefully. She headed back towards bed, but before she got in, she was stopped by one of the little voices in her head. 

'**Wake him up. You could use a little fun...**'

'_And what do you mean by fun?_'

'**Come on, you know what I mean. He already _mounted_ her...**'

'_You left something out, so say the rest._' As this voice said that, she pulled out the mallet.

'**I don't care about your threats. Now its your turn to _mount_ his _horse_.**'

'Will you guys leave me alone so that I can sleep.'

'**No. Now go lead his _horse_ into your _stable_.**'

'_I am going to have to kill you._'

'**Come on, you want it too and you know it. Why don't you ask insanity, I'm sure he would be happy to service you.**'

'_Grrrr... DIE!_' She started to chase the other voice around Florina's mind, mallet in hand.

'**Don't forget to feed him some _hay_!**' That last statement only succeeded in pissing off the other voice even more. She finally caught up with the naughty voice and proceeded to beat the shit out of her.

'Maybe I can finally get some rest.'

Florina finally climbed into bed. She looked over at Sain, sighing. She wished that those two voices weren't there, that would make things much easier. She had a headache from all of the bad puns that he naughty voice made up, so she went back to sleep.

Lyn woke up in the morning. She noticed that Mark was still asleep. An evil grin crossed her face; she quietly walked into the bathroom and filled a bowl with warm water. She walked back to Mark's bed; bowl in hand. She slowly lifted up Mark's hand and placed it in the bowl. She also tied his shoes together, which he still had on because of how tired he was the night before. As she left the room, a little voice in her head told her that this was mean and that she shouldn't do this, but she could barely hear it over the voice shouting, "THIS IS GOING TO BE SO F-CKING FUNNY!" She went down stairs and awaited Mark's awakening.

As Lyn was rigging Mark up for his eventual embarrassment, Florina woke up. She looked over at Sain, who was just waking up. She just lay there, falling back asleep. Sain started to get ready; he looked over to Florina, who had just fallen back to sleep. He didn't want to wake her, he heard her wake up about three or four times the night before. He went downstairs to eat breakfast, not knowing the events that were about to unfold.

Mark woke up and started to go downstairs for breakfast. He was able to walk because Lyn had tied the shoelaces just right so that he couldn't go down stairs, but could still walk. He started down the stairs, and as he moved one foot, the other was jerked out from under him, and he began to fall down the stairs, loudly. He heard a very loud laugh from below. "LYN!" he bellowed. Then, unfortunately for Mark, Florina had just finished getting ready and was walking down the stairs, and Mark bowled her over.

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" came the familiar shriek from Florina, alerting Lyn that her joke had gone wrong. Mark finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Florina with. They landed in a very awkward position, Mark's head landed in Florina's bosom, causing the expected "EEEEEEEEEEK!" By this time, Sain had rushed to Florina's rescue, starting to beat the crap out of Mark.

"She's. Mine. You. Here." Sain said, between hits. Florina was backed off in a corner, shaking. Lyn was rushing over to beat up Mark for what happened to Florina. After they were done beating the crap out of Mark, Sain went and got Florina out of the corner, who was still shaking. Then they all had breakfast, except Mark, who was in a puddle on the floor, seeping through the floorboards. He eventually re-solidified, and started walking over to the table.

"Hey, Mark, what's that on your pants..." Sain said, trying to hold back a snicker.

"Were you so afraid of us beating you up that you peed yourself?" Lyn said, trying harder than Sain to hold back a laugh. Mark looked down and saw the urine stain on his pants. He quickly tried to cover it up, but they just kept at it.

"Maybe that is what happens when a girl kicks your ass!" Sain said, starting to laugh.

"YOU GUYS SHOULD JUST SHUT UP!" Mark yelled , hobbled upstairs to change. As soon as he made it up the stairs, everyone downstairs started to laugh their asses off. "SHUT UP ASSHOLES!" Mark yelled down the stairs, causing them to laugh harder. He got to his room and finally noticed the bowl of water, "LYYYYYYN!" Mark yelled at the top of his lungs, triggering even more laughter from below.

"I still can't believe he didn't notice it sooner!" Lyn said, laughing even harder.

"Notice what?" Florina said between laughs, she had finally gotten over what had happened.

"I his hand in a bowl of warm water and tied his shoes together!" Lyn laughed. Sain and Florina stopped.

"So, what you're saying is that all of this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't done this?" Sain said, looking to Florina. She nodded back and Lyn stopped laughing. She looked nervously at Sain and Florina, who began to grin evilly.

"What are you up to?" Lyn said, getting up and backing away from the table. It was then that Mark came down the stairs in a new pair of pants.

"What's going on here?" Mark said, noticing what was going on. Sain beckoned him over and whispered something into his ear. Mark began to grin evilly. "Just remember that paybacks are hell." Lyn really started to worry, backing away to another table. She sat down with her back facing the wall, while she watched Mark, Sain, and Florina plot.

"I'm so dead..." Lyn said. She kept trying to back up, but the wall stopped her. She started trying to think of ways out of this, then she remembered that no one else was up yet. "We still have to wake everyone else up!" Lyn said, sounding a little desperate.

"You got out of it this time," Mark said, giving her a death glare, "But you better watch your back." They went to relieve Erk of Serra first. When they got to the door, they didn't hear anything through the door.

"What do you think is going on in there?" Lyn asked, starting to open the door. What they saw shocked them. Erk was just sitting there, calmly, and Serra was, well, everywhere. The only definite piece that was left was her head, which was on a pole in the middle of the room.

"What happened?" Sain asked. Florina was hiding behind him, shaking.

"OH, shE JusT PisSEd mE Off ONe tOO maNY tiMEs," Erk said, calmly, "i AM fiNAllY FreE Of tHAt pESt!" Everyone just stared at him, horrified.

"Lu-Lu-Lucius!" Lyn said, horrified. She ran to Lucius's room, but he was nowhere to be found. Mark, Sain, and Florina had followed her, hoping to get away from Erk. "DAMMIT!" Other that Serra, Lucius is the only one who can help us with this, and Serra was dead.

Back in Erk and Serra's room...

"Do you think they're gone? I am starting to get tired! Hold me Erky! Can we go get some food? I'm hungry! I want to go downstairs! Come on Erky, let's go!" Serra's "severed" head said. She then walked out from behind a piece of poster board that was concealing her body for the prank.

"You go on," Erk said, pulling something out, "I have to get ready for the next part. You just stay hidden, just in case." Serra went downstairs quickly, snickering slightly. She still couldn't believe that Florina would come up with something this good, and this was only part of a bigger scheme. Erk was still in the room, rubbing theater blood on his face. He had just put it away when Lyn came back to his room. 'Alright, you take over for a little while.' 'yOU goT It.'

"I'm sorry Erk, but we couldn't find Lucius," Lyn said. She noticed the red stuff on Erk's mouth, and that Serra's head was gone. "Where did Serra's head go?" Lyn asked nervously.

"i DEvoURed HEr sOUl! iT Was DEliCIouS!" Erk said, "I alSO atE WhaT Was LEft OF heR HeaD. It wAS okAY, i gUEss." Lyn was choking back a barf. She backed away, bumping into Mark, who was just as horrified as Lyn by what he was hearing. Sain and Florina did not even come back to the room; they just kept walking down stairs, meeting up with Serra at the bottom.

"How'd it go?" Sain asked Serra.

"It's going great! How'd you come up with something this great? I still can't believe it! How long do you think it will take? I wonder..." Serra spewed.

"Well, you just hide outside for now," Florina said, "We have to get ready for the next phase." Serra waited at the back door of the inn, awaiting the signal. Florina sat down at a table and Sain sat next to her. They waited until they heard Lyn and Mark coming down the stairs, then Florina started to cry, and Sain started to comfort her.

"What's the matter with her? Is she still upset about Erk killing Serra?" Mark asked. Sain just nodded.

"What are we going to do about this?" Lyn asked, "We don't have any other healers. And Lucius is the only one who can take care of this spirit that has possessed Erk." She started to really stress out, holding her head. It was just then that Lucius and Ninian walked in the front door.

"Hello everyone," Lucius said, walking in on a very depressed group of people. "What's wrong?" Lucius asked.

"Do you remember that spirit that you cleared from Mark a little while ago?" Lyn asked.

"Yeah," Lucius responded.

"Well, we have reason to believe that it possessed Erk," Lyn said.

"What are you talking about?" Erk said, coming down the stairs. He didn't have a trace of the theater blood left on him.

"But, wha, how, who? You killed Serra and ate her head, I saw it," Lyn said, astonished.

"What are you talking about?" Serra said, walking in the front door. Lyn looked especially shocked at this one.

"But I saw the severed head on a pole. I heard from Erk that he ate your head," Lyn said.

"We have no idea what you're talking about," Florina said, as though she were never crying. Lyn started to go crazy.

"What is going on here?" Lyn shouted, "Have I gone insane?" Just then she heard a little voice in her head. It said, 'NOt uNTil I ShoW Up.' "AHHHHHHHH!" Lyn huddled over in a corner. "Find my happy place. Find my happy place." Everyone that was downstairs started to laugh. At first they tried to stifle them, but they failed miserably. Lyn realized what had just happened. "You guys are assholes," Lyn said, quietly.

"Like I said," Mark said, laughing at her, "paybacks are hell." He continued to laugh, and Lyn just continued to get more and more angry, until she exploded.

"WHY WOULD YOU PLAY SUCH A DEPLORABLE PRANK ON ME! I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!" Lyn shouted at Mark. Mark sort of just shriveled up.

"Ummmm... It was Florina's idea..." Mark said, "Don't hurt me." Lyn turned to Florina, eyes starting to turn red; she was pissed. Florina ran and hid behind Sain, who was not to happy to be used as a meat shield, but he didn't complain. Lyn walked up to Sain.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Lyn commanded. Sain didn't budge. "I SAID GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Sain still didn't move. Lyn started to shake with blind rage. "IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THE WAY NOW I'LL KILL YOU VERY SLOWLY AFTER CASTRATING YOU!" Mark started to sneak up on Lyn, ready to stop her. He grabbed her and held her back. "LET ME GO NOW! SHE NEEDS TO DIE! I WILL KILL YOU TOO IF YOU DON'T LET ME GO NOW!"

"You need to calm down," Mark said, "Don't forget that you got me pretty good this morning too." Lyn seemed to calm down a little. "Just calm down and let's talk about this." Lyn stopped struggling and she seemed to return to normal. She sat down and talked to Mark.

"But I heard a voice in my head that sounded a lot like the voice that possessed you," Lyn said, "And how did Erk talk like that?"

"Lucius talked him into it," Mark said, "He made him promise to leave you alone afterwards."

"So, I'm not crazy?" Lyn said, looking relieved.

"No, you aren't," Mark said, "But you should have seen the look on your face when you thought you were! It was priceless!" Mark started to laugh, and Lyn started to get mad again. Everyone who was still there went upstairs, to avoid what they knew was to happen next. But they didn't hear the usual sounds of a beating; instead it was a shouting contest.

"Why do you think Lyn didn't beat the crap out of Mark?" Florina asked Sain.

"I have no idea. But I am pretty sure that if anyone else had done that, they wouldn't be alive right now," Sain said in response. They just went into their room and got their stuff ready to set out.

"Well, the plan went on without a hitch," Florina said, "Shall we start planning phase two?"

"Yes. But what will we do this time?" Sain replied. They started their plotting, only a basic idea for now, though.

In Erk's room, he had already finished cleaning the fake blood from the walls. He was starting to get his stuff ready when Serra walked in. 'Oh, how I wish I really could kill her.' 'yOU knOW yoU Can'T Do tHAt.' 'Still doesn't mean I can't wish.'

"Hey Erky! That was fun! I wish we could do that again! I hope they got that on camera! When do you think Florina will ask us for help again? I wonder what she is trying to accomplish!" Serra spewed. Erk sat there, struggling mentally between himself and insanity.

'Come on, let me do it.' 'nO!' 'Please.' 'No!' Erk stopped there, for Serra had left. He looked very relieved, and then went back to his packing. Back downstairs, Mark and Lyn were still yelling at each other. Lucius and Ninian were sitting at the table next to them, laughing at their friend's antics.

"We better get ready for the rest of the day," Lucius said. He and Ninian went up stairs to pack.

"Wait, Nils isn't up yet," Ninian said, "Let's go get him." They set off for Nils's and Kent's room. They opened the door and found Kent lying on top of Nils. Kent had obviously collapsed on top of Nils when he tried to help Kent into bed.

"H-h-h-help me-e-e-e-e!" Nils wheezed, "He's crushing me." Ninian and Lucius grabbed his hands and started to pull. Unfortunately, they could not manage to get Nils out from under Kent's sleeping form. Just then, a huge flash of light that blinded everyone who had their eyes open. When everyone regained their sight, there stood the same brown haired boy that showed up a few chapters back.

"Why are you here?" Ninian asked.

"I have to help my fellow Orange Soda Lover!" the boy replied. He snapped his fingers and Nils was out from under Kent. They performed the Uber Orange Soda Lover Pose. "I better get out of here before the others find out I'm here." In another blinding flash of light, he disappeared.

"We should probably wake up Kent," Nils said. He pulled out the air-horn, and held it up to Kent's ear. Everyone held their ears and Nils pushed the button. Instead of the expected loud scream, a very loud fart was heard. Nils looked at the air-horn curiously and pushed the button again, but no sound came. The loud fart was heard once more, and everyone looked at Kent. They surmised that the farts were coming from him when they smelled beer-fart. They left the room quickly, gasping for air.

"Oh. My. God." Lucius gasped, "I still can't believe he can breathe!" He continued to gasp for air. They went downstairs to join the others, who were watching the show.

"How's it going?" Ninian asked.

"So far," Sain said, checking a notepad, "Lyn is winning by five points."

"Oh," Lucius said, "Last time I checked, Mark was winning."

"Well," Florina said, "Lyn pulled out the gender card, taking a huge penalty, but Mark can't think up enough rebuttals, so she has gained back all the points she lost and more."

"You know that we still have to wake everyone else up," Nils said.

"Yeah, so what," Sain said, "At the rate these two are going, everyone within a five mile radius will be awake soon."

"I'm taking all bets!" they heard Matthew shouted into the crowd, "So who will it be, Lyn or Mark? I'm taking all bets!"

"I'll put two on Mark!" Sain shouted towards Matthew, throwing him the money.

"I'll put three on Lyn!" Florina shouted, throwing her money towards Matthew as well.

"I'm going to go wake up everyone else," Nils said to Ninian, who was placing a bet on Lyn. Nils went upstairs, stopping first at Wil and Dorcas's room.

"Hello Nils," Wil said, "Is it time to get ready?" Dorcas began to write on his sign.

"That would be the most likely reason he would show up," the sign read.

"I can't read your handwriting," Wil said, "so will you just speak, I know you can."

"I don't care if you can read the sign or not," Dorcas wrote on the sign.

"All right, you two are up," Nils said, "I'm going to go wake up Rath."

"Okay," Wil said, tiredly. He was obviously having troubles communicating. Nils walked into Rath's room and woke him up.

"……………!" Rath yelled, obviously not to happy about being woken up. Nils looked really confused. "…………, ………; ………!" Rath said, trying to explain to Nils.

"Whatever…" Nils said, backing out of the room. He quickly closed the door. He dreaded the person he would have to wake next. He just hoped that the room had aired out. He opened the door, wincing slightly. Kent was gone when he opened the door. Nils figured that he went downstairs, so he went and joined the rest of the group downstairs. The innkeeper and staff had joined in on the betting. Nils sweatdropped. How could all of these people be stupid or bored enough to bet on an argument. He looked over at Mark and Lyn, who were standing on the table now, still shouting.

"Hey Nils, you want in?" Matthew asked the teal-haired boy.

"Sure," Nils said, "I bet on Mark, two pieces." Nils sat down and watched as they continued to go at it. Eventually they stopped, and some people were more wealthy than others by the end, and they left the inn.

* * *

Kilroy: This has got to be one of the longest chapters I have ever written. 

Lyn: No, I think you have a nine page one somewhere.

Lute: I can't take it anymore, please make it stop!

Zero: Will you just shut up Lute? Jeez.

Hoobob: Can't… think… must… erase… chapter from memory.

Kilroy: Well, I can see when I'm not wanted, we'll just go to the reviewer responses.

**Reviewer's Corner**

**JSB:** Well, what other way should romantic moments go, I have to break them apart somehow.

**Cool-chan:** Yes, it just wouldn't be another chapter without a review of insanity. What did your parents do to disserve that? I hope that Nino will be able to help out with the obtainage of the choco.

**TheDragonOfDarkness001:** HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE!

**RLnaruhina:** Well, I didn't really feel to good about the barfing either. And you're right, screw political correctness.

**TheDragonOfDarkness001(Chapter 3):** Good Lord Man, get some food!

**Shadow of Chaos:** The sad part is, the reviews can be the highlights of my day, and YEAH! MORE ORANGE SODA! I was out.

**HumbleShaman:** Please don't spill your guts, someone would have to clean it up.

**Fire Hippo:** Yeah, Fire Hippo's back! One more thing… yes,runonsentenceslikethiswithnospacesarefun,nowwhere'smycookie?

Kilroy: Here's the end of another chapter.

Lyn: Please keep reviewing, Kilroy really likes it.


	15. Chapter 15

Kilroy: Sorry this took so long to update.

Lute: He's just too lazy.

Lyn: Why are you such a bitch?

Lute: And why do you seem to support Kilroy?

Zero: Yeah, he's a bigger ass than I am!

Lyn: No, you guys are bigger asses than he is!

Kilroy: Yeah! I wish I never picked you two to be muses.

Lute: (starts crying) Do you really mean that?

Lyn: (goes to comfort her)

Zero: YES! I'M FINALLY FREE!

Kilroy: Lute, I didn't mean that, and Zero… You are condemned to do this for the rest of eternity, even after I die, as if that would happen.

Zero: WHAT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! (eyes begin glowing red)

Kilroy: Uh-oh. This don't look good.

Zero: (in deep, evil, scary-voice) ALL LIFE MUST PERISH!

Kilroy: (picks up phone) WE HAVE A LEVEL-10 MAVERIC ALERT IN SECTOR FIVE! REQUESTING IMMEADIATE ASSISTANCE!

X: (beams in) I'M ON IT! (blasts Zero)

Zero: (deactivates)

X: Okay, that should do it. Call me if it happens again. (beams out)

Kilroy: Great. Time to start reprogramming him…

Lyn: Does that happen often?

Lute: This is the first I've heard of it…

Kilroy: Actually, Zero was the first Maveric ever.

Lute: Really?

Kilroy: Let's get on with the fic.

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem. Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem.

Lyn: Maybe we should take the two bucks from Shadow of Chaos and give him Denning…

* * *

They all left the inn, some richer from the result of the betting. And by some, I meant Matthew, the shouting contest ended in a draw, giving him all the money bet on the match. He was planning on setting up a rematch sometime, everyone just loved the show. Everyone was mad at the thief for taking all of their money, so they started plotting to get it back. 

"We should demand a refund," Florina said, talking to all of the women in the group, who obviously bet on Lyn. The men were in another group, thinking of various ways to beat the crap out of Matthew.

"I don't think that this would be a good idea," Kent said, "Think of what he could do in retaliation." Everyone just looked at him.

"Come on, he's a wimp! Even Nils or Erk could take him in a fist fight!" Sain said to his best friend. Erk and Nils looked slightly offended by the comment, but agreed anyway. They began to discuss their plans.

"Okay," Erk said, "here's what we're going to do. We ask Lyn and Mark to rig the draw so that Matthew gets Kent duty."

"Say, where are Mark and Lyn?" Nils said curiously, looking around.

"Who knows," Kent said in response, "So, after Matthew gets landed with," Kent sighed, "'Kent duty' I wait for him to fall asleep and then I restrain him while you come in and beat the crap out of him until he gives us our money back."

"Okay," Nils said, "But won't Kent be drunk by the time Matthew falls asleep?" Kent looked as if someone had just insulted his mother, which probably wouldn't have brought out such a reaction.

"YOU DON'T THINK I CAN ACT DRUNK BOY!" Kent yelled at the top of his lungs at the poor, young, blue haired boy, "IN FACT I COULD PROBABLY DRINK ENOUGH TO TAKE YOU OUT AND BE UNEFFECTED!"

"That's what you think," Nils muttered under his breath. Kent looked at him with fury in his eyes.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN!" Kent shouted at the top of his lungs. Nils just shrunk back into a corner. (where he found one out in a field, I will never know) Kent just cleared his throat and trotted off, towards their destination. Everyone just looked at him. He even caught Sain off guard.

"Damn," Sain said, "That's never happened before." Everyone just continued to stare at Kent, who seemed to have returned completely to normal.

"So, how do we plan on getting our money back?" Florina asked the rest of the girls. Seeing as how there were only about four of them, including Lyn, the group was small. "I have some plans, but they were designed for Lyn, so I don't know how effective they would be."

"What if we just asked for our money back?" Ninian asked, earning her one of those "that is the dumbest ideas I have ever heard" looks from the rest of the group, or the only two other people there, whichever way you want to look at it. "What? It could work…"

"Moving on… we need to wait for him to fall asleep, then we get the boys to beat the crap out of him," Florina said. Serra chose this moment to speak up.

"That won't work! He's a thief! He wouldn't fall for something like that! Come on! His spy senses would keep us from succeeding! Oh there's Erk! ERKY! My feet are tired! Carry me!" Serra ran over to her beloved mage, who was trying very hard to hide behind Dorcas's sign. Florina and Ninian stood there in disbelief, how could Serra have figured that out.

Meanwhile… down below…

"Sir Satan! Sir Satan! We are coming dangerously close to freezing over! What is the recommended course of action, sir?" a demon asked someone, who was obviously Satan.

"Why are you asking me? Satan is over there," the being said, pointing to someone sitting on a throne. Okay, so he wasn't Satan, sue me.

'Kay 

Shut up. Any way, the demon alerted Satan about the drastic turn of events.

"UNHOLY CRAP! WHAT HAPPENED! DID SERRA HAVE AN ACTUAL INTELLEGENT THOUGHT! QUICK, TURN UP THE THERMOSTAT!" Satan yelled in shock. The demon quickly did as he was told and soon, hell started to defrost. "That was a close on."

Back with the… um…

_**Heroes.** _

Yeah, back with the heroes…

"I feel unloved," Mark said sarcastically. He looked over at Lyn, who was still somewhat mad about the whole shouting contest thing. "Come on, cheer up."

"Hmph," was all Lyn said in reply. Mark started thinking.

"Is there anything I can do to make up for it?" Mark asked, somewhat desperate. She looked at him, and started to grin.

"Well, there is one thing…" Lyn said. Mark looked a little worried, but continued any way.

"Anything, you name it," Mark said. As soon as he said it, he knew he would regret saying that. Lyn got that look on her face, you know the one. Mark gulped. Lyn drew her sword. 'My how this is going to hurt.' She rushed towards him, but stopped and held out the sword.

"Sword training!" she said, happy expression on her face. Mark just stood there, in shock. What did you expect her to do? Chop him to little bits? Then I would have to wait about two pages while Kilroy put him back together! You think that happens by itself? Kilroy works hard to put him back together. That one time when Sain died, Kilroy was just being lazy.

_**That's enough out of you. Get on with the story.**_

Fine. Okay, Mark was standing in shock.

"Okay, fine with me. But, can it wait 'til we get to where ever we are sleeping tonight?" Mark asked. Lyn nodded happily. Then Mark thought of something. "I wonder if something is going to happen today."

"Doesn't something always happen?" Lyn said, a hint of dread in her voice, "I wonder what will happen today."

"Who knows?" Mark said, shrugging.

I do! 

"You don't count," Lyn pointed out.

Back with everyone's "favorite" thief…

'Note to self,' the thief thought as he wrote something down, 'replace body with dummy tonight.' What? He knows everything. He's Matthew. "Oh yeah." 'Don't forget to set up the camcorder.' With that, he stuck the piece of paper in his pocket, and was on his way, jingling his new wealth in his pocket.

Back with the girls…

"Okay," Ninian said, "the author likes Nils, and since I'm his sister, I will convince Nils to get the author to get Matthew back for us."

"That could work, but what if he refuses?" Florina asked.

"We give him…" Ninian said, digging around in her bag, "THIS!" She held up a can of orange soda.

"Why do you carry orange soda on you?" Florina asked.

"Well, if I didn't do it, that would be all Nils carried, so I have to do it to keep him from forgetting stuff," Ninian replied.

"Makes sense," Florina said.

Meanwhile… back down below…

"UNHOLY CRAP! SOMEONE IS USING LOGIC! THE THERMOSTAT DOESN'T GO UP HIGH ENOUGH TO DEFROST THIS!" Satan shouted.

"Sir! We have just received more souls to burn in the furnace," a demon told Satan.

"Really! Why now?" Satan asked.

"A class just graduated from Harvard, thus selling their souls to us," the demon replied.

"Yes! I love the smell of lawyer in the morning! Quick, put them in before I freeze to death!" Satan yelled.

Back with the annoying ones…

"Why?" Mark asked.

'_**Cause I just love pissing you off.**_

"I hate you," Mark said, clenching his teeth. He saw Sain and the others, so he walked over to say hi.

"And I'm telling you that this plan stinks!" Sain shouted at Lucius, "I mean, where is the fun in getting back at Matthew if we don't get to beat him up in the process?"

"Well, if you don't want favor with the gods, then I guess I will help out the girls," Lucius said.

"Well, you would really fit in over there," Sain said. Lucius looked deeply hurt.

"Well, at least I don't go chasing every girl I see!" Lucius yelled at Sain. Sain was about to defend himself when a very pretty young lady passed by, and Sain, well, you can figure it out. Lucius sweatdropped. "Oh Florina!" That snapped Sain back to his senses, just in time to be caught by Florina.

"And what were you doing?" Florina asked, tapping her foot, arms folded. Obviously Sain was busted. Luckily Sain had something to get him out of this sticky situation. All he had to do was get it out of his back pocket. "What? Pulling an explanation out of your ass. You may want to bend over."

"Ha ha. Very funny," Sain said, retrieving a piece of paper from his pocket. He handed it to Florina.

"What is this?" Florina asked as she started to read.

"It is a poem expressing my love for you," Sain responded as Florina finished reading the paper, "and Florina…"

"Yes?" Florina said.

"I wuv u," Sain said, causing Florina to blush.

"I… I wuv u too," Florina said, giving Sain a big hug.

"Do you think we should just let them have their moment?" Mark said, looking towards Lyn.

"I don't have the heart to do it," Lyn responded, "I'll go get Matthew."

"You called?" the thief said, appearing with a small "pop."

"Yeah," Mark said, "Sain and Florina are having another moment."

"Ahh… I know what to do," the thief said, "1… 2…. 3…"

"Awwwwww…" everyone cooed at once, ruining the moment.

"I am going to kill you," Sain said to Matthew, "Just. You. Wait."

"Give it your best shot," Matthew said, disappearing with a loud "BANG." Thus knocking everyone to the ground with the shockwave.

"Okay, this makes no sense," Mark said.

"I would have to agree with you," Lyn said, "How could a wimp like him be that powerful?"

"I have no idea," Florina said.

"Lyn!" Nils said suddenly, "My Spidey Sense is tingling!" Everyone looked at him in confusion.

"Ohhh…" Mark said, "Spidey Sense. So, what's the problem?"

"There is a giant bow over there," Nils said, pointing in a random direction.

"What? A giant bow. I'M FINALLY USEFUL!" Wil shouted.

Meanwhile… Just guess…

"SHIT! NOT AGAIN! WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME!" Satan bellowed at the top of his demonic lungs.

"Sir! Wil is finally useful! We may never be able to defrost this time," the same demon as before reported to the devil.

"What are we going to do now?" Satan asked his henchman.

"Shall I get out the parkas sir?" he asked.

"That is the only option," Satan said.

Back with the heroes…

"Okay," Mark said, "here's the plan. Kent, Sain, and Rath, you three go and take out the idiot that is in charge of that giant bow." Kent, Sain, and Rath nodded in acknowledgement. "Okay, Wil, you ride with Rath. Take over the giant bow thing after they take out the archer." Wil nodded in agreement.

"I believe the giant bow things are called ballista," Wil said.

_**I can't spell that.**_

"Okay then," Wil said.

"Moving on… Florina, stay out of the range of the giant bow thing. The rest of us will move in as soon as Wil gains control of the bow," Mark said. With that everyone moved out.

"You do realize that this whole plan hinges on Wil?" Lyn said to Mark.

"Unfortunately it is true," Mark said, "But if this works, we may not even have to deal with the boss!" Everyone gasped.

"I don't think that Kilroy would let that happen though," Nils said. Everyone began bracing themselves for the inevitable insanity that was sure to follow.

Meanwhile…

Rath took out the archer at the giant bow thing and Wil climbed aboard. He began figuring out how it worked. Rath stood guard while Kent and Sain brought everyone back.

"Okay, I think I figured this thing out," Wil said, earning some gasps from his teammates. "I hate you guys."

"Okay," Mark said, "fire at the boss. Can you see him?"

"Yes," Wil said, "I can see him." With that Wil started firing at the boss. The boss survived.

"I knew it was too good to be true," Lyn said. They moved in on the boss, who was sitting on the ground with a dazed look on his face.

"Oh God, please don't tell me he is wasted," Mark begged.

"Dude… You have to try this…" the leader said. Mark just slapped his forehead. Just then Yogi, the boss, threw a needle at Mark. It hit and Mark started to stumble around.

"Dude… look at all the colors…." Mark said, sitting down to keep from falling over.

"You… heh heh… ya want… hahahahaha… you want the high grade stuff?" Yogi said between puffs.

"Duuude… hook me up," Mark said. Lyn tried to stop him, but Mark wouldn't have any of that. "Why you gotta be so square man?" He reached out and took the stuff from Yogi and took a puff. The world started to swirl around him. "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude… this is freakin' sweat!" Just then a figure appeared in front of him.

"Hello Mark," the figure said.

"Woah, how do you know my name? Dude," Mark said.

"I know because I am your spirit guide," the figure responded.

"So, …what's your name?" Mark said, snickering.

"I am RLnaruhina," the figure stated, "Now I am here to help guide you through your drug induced coma."

"W-Wh-What? hehehehehehe… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mark laughed.

"Okay," Rlnaruhina said, "damn what kind of high grade shit did you do?"

"What?" Mark said, snickering. Suddenly, he became aware that there was actually someone there. "COMA MONSTER!" Mark shouted, pointing in the direction on RLnaruhina, who looked around.

"Where?" he said, "…wait a minute. Are you referring to me?" Just then Mark rushed him, attempting to kill him. "That does it! This coma is over!" With that, he snapped his fingers and George W. Bush appeared, shocking Mark back to his senses.

"CRAP! NOT DUBYA! ANYTHING BUT DUBYA!" Mark shouted as he woke up. He immediately curled up into a fetal position. He then noticed that Yogi was laying in a heap across from him. "You kill him?"

"No, he slipped into a coma shortly after you did," Lyn commented, "I was worried about you. Don't you ever try something like that again!" Mark apologized many times over and they were off towards the inn.

When they got to the inn, the innkeeper confronted them.

"Oh no. My brothers have told me about you people. I don't know if I want to give you rooms," the innkeeper said. Erk stepped forward.

"iF yOU dO NoT WanT tO pERiSh, i sUGgeSt tHaT yOu gIVe uS fOoD aNd ShELter!" Erk shouted at the innkeeper, who allowed them to stay the night.

"Okay," Mark said, "the first order of business is to select Serra's roommate."

"Okay," Lyn said, "You all know the drill." They all put their names in the hat. They drew the name of the loser.

"And it is... Nils!" Mark said. Nils fell into a kneeling position.

"WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!" Nils shouted at the ceiling. Serra walked over to him.

"So you're my roommate tonight! That's great! You're cute! Come on, let's go check out the room! I wonder how close it will be to Erk's! Do you think Erk likes me? I sure hope he likes me! Say, isn't that blue-haired girl your sister? She's pretty! I hope she doesn't compete with me for Erk..." Serra continued to babble as she dragged Nils up stairs, kicking and screaming. Everyone just bowed their heads and said a silent prayer for Nils.

"Next up it Kent duty!" Mark said, earning a grunt from Kent. He drew a name from the hat.

"And it's... Matthew!" Lyn shouted.

'Excellent. The plan is underway,' Sain thought.

'Excellent. Now to start getting ready for the counter measures,' Matthew thought.

'Excellent. Now I can get some drinks!' Kent thought. (did I really have to tell you?)

"I was finally of use! I was finally of use!" Wil said, and continued to spout how he was actually important in this chapter.

"...!" Rath yelled at the archer, who was getting on his nerves. Wil just stood there, and then he started crying and ran up to his room. Everyone cheered Rath for getting rid of Wil.

"Okay now," Mark said, "We going to do that sword practice?" Lyn looked thrilled.

"Of course!" Lyn said, "I'll get the training swords and we'll meet outside in five minutes."

"Okay," Mark said. 'Maybe I'll learn something this time.'

A short time later...

Mark and Lyn were outside, warming up for the training. After that, Lyn began teaching Mark some techniques. Mark was actually doing really well for a beginner. Mark looked over at the horizon, noticing the sunset.

"Wow. I haven't seen a sunset that beautiful in a long time," Mark said. Lyn looked over at the horizon.

"Yeah, it is beautiful," Lyn said. Mark sat down and Lyn sat down next to him. "Sunsets like this remind me of the times back on the plains, when my father, mother and me would sit and watch the sunset." Lyn leaned over and rested her head on Mark's shoulder. "Since they died, I have been alone. I am glad you are here Mark."

"I'm glad to be here with you too," Mark said. They enjoyed the moment until they heard the familiar

"1...2...3..." they knew who said it, and then they heard the expected, "Awwwwwww..." And so, the moment was ruined.

"Why do you have to do that?" Mark asked.

"'Cause it's fun," Matthew said, disappearing with a small "pop."

"How does it keep changing?" Lyn asked.

"He's just that weird," Mark said. And so they went to bed. Matthew helped Kent upstairs. And soon after, all went to bed. And then the Matthew revenge plans took effect.

* * *

Kilroy: Well, sorry for the long update time. 

Lute: He's just lazy, don't worry about it.

Lyn: ...

Kilroy: It's just a fan fiction.

Lyn: Fine.

Zero: (sitting on floor, deactivated)

Kilroy: I have to reprogram him soon.

Lyn: That would be helpful.

Kilroy: The responses will be with the reply button. I'm just lazy okay. Get off my back! Kilroy out!


	16. Chapter 16

Kilroy: Yeah! An update from me!

Lute: So... time for you to make random crap up and call it a chapter?

Lyn: Does Kilroy have to start doing the happy dance?

Lute: O.O (hides in corner) (whimpers)

Kilroy: Okay... I have to get Zero operational again. (opens panel on back of Zero)

Lyn: Ohhhh... pretty lights...

Kilroy: Um... Lyn, could you take care of Lute while I do this?

Lyn: Okay...

Kilroy: Okay, well, on with the fic!

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem! Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem! Kilroy...

Kilroy: (writing something down) Zero's first job when he wakes up: Kill Denning.

* * *

Mark and Lyn went back into the inn. What they found when they got in there wasn't that surprising. They looked around, seeing that Kent was getting drunk and about to fall onto the floor next to Nils, who was hiding behind Ninian, who was telling off Serra with the help of Lucius, who was trying really hard not to just get her to bug Erk, who was sitting at a table reading and talking to Dorcas, who was avoiding Wil, who was really depressed, because he was told off by Rath, who was trying to have a conversation with the innkeeper, who was trying to keep an eye on Sain, who was hitting on the innkeeper's daughter, which pissed off Florina, who dragged Sain off by the ear, passing Matthew along the way, who was planning for how to cover his ass for the night, because he had taken all of the money people used for bets one the shouting contest, because it ended in a draw, when a red-haired boy walked in and sat down at a table, which Lyn and Mark walked up to.

"Hello again, you're the one that saved Ninian a while ago, right?" Lyn said to the red head.

"Why yes I am. My name's Eliwood by the way," Eliwood said, extending his hand, which both Mark and Lyn shook, "I don't believe I know your names."

"Well, I'm Lyn, the leader of this small band of warriors. And this is Mark, he's... um..., what do you do anyway?" Lyn said, turning to Mark.

"I'm the tactician, remember?" Mark said, crossing his arms in frustration. Lyn sweatdropped. Eliwood looked around.

"How are you two sane?" Eliwood said, noticing everyone's antics, "Why is that man writing on that sign? And why is that pink haired girl so loud and talkative? And why is that knight falling down drunk?" He pointed at Kent, who was slowly making his way over to the table.

"Hello... hic... I'm Kent... hic... ya want some booze?" just as Kent finished saying this, he fell over, having passed out from being drunk. Eliwood sweatdropped, his eyes bugged out slightly.

"I had heard about the heir dispute in Caelin, and that you were here. I thought I should offer some help, but..." Eliwood looked around again, "I pretty sure I value my sanity."

"Any help you can get us would be very appreciated," Mark said, "Our group has some... issues..."

"I like your word for it," Eliwood said, "So... what is the closest thing to normal you have around here?" Mark thought for a moment.

"Well... Lyn's a psychopath," Mark winced, before noticing that Lyn was listening to her iPod, he continued, "Kent's a drunk, Sain's a perverted womanizer, Florina is afraid of men, yet hooked up with Sain, Wil is stupid and utterly useless, Dorcas writes everything on a signboard, Erk has a voice called insanity that occasionally possesses him, Serra is... well... you figured that one out, Matthew is a thief who can't seem to stop stealing from the others in the group, Rath speaks in dots, yet we all can understand him, Lucius and Nils are addicted to Orange Soda and are friends with the author, and Ninian, well... she's actually normal." Eliwood had that look on his face that just screamed "WHAT HAVE I JUST GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!" He slipped into a stress-induced coma.

"Wake up! I have chocooooo! ...I don't think its working Nils," a girl said, poking Eliwood with a stick. Eliwood woke up.

"Where... where am I?" he asked, looking around.

"You slipped into a stress-induced coma because of a recap of all the really weird stuff in this fic," the girl responded.

"Hey, we have to go to the Great Chocolate Mountain to face the Great Chocolate Ruler," Nils said, pulling the girl by the sleeve towards what appeared to be a giant mound of chocolate.

"But we have to help Eliwood through this coma, or else he will be here for a while," the girl said.

"Who are you and why are you insane?" Eliwood asked.

"I'm Toki Kishitani," she answered, completely ignoring the second question.

"So... when do I get out of here?" Eliwood asked.

"You want some choco?" Toki asked, holding out a piece of chocolate.

"I don't want any," Eliwood said.

"Why not?" Toki asked, astonished.

"Because I'm in a coma!" Eliwood yelled. Nils jumped on him and held him down.

"But it will make you feel better!" Toki said, trying to get Eliwood to eat the chocolate. Eliwood kept moving his head so that the chocolate missed its mark.

"BUT I HATE CHOCOLATE!" Eliwood yelled at the top of his lungs. All of the members of Choco-Lovers United backed off and looked at him.

"BLASPHEMY! HEATHEN! BURN HIM!" Nils shouted.

"JAFFAR, ATTACK!" Nino yelled. Jaffar grabbed Eliwood and held a dagger to his throat.

"...Eat the choco or die..." Jaffar said as Toki reluctantly held out another piece of chocolate.

"Fine. I'll eat it," Eliwood said. They gave him the chocolate and he ate it.

Meanwhile...

"Okay," Mark said, looking at Eliwood's limp body, "Now what do we do with him?"

"Why don't we just leave him here? If he's still there in the morning, we try to wake him," Lyn suggested.

"Fine. Now what do we do?" Mark asked. Lyn thought about it for a minute.

"Hmm... We could bug Sain and Florina," Lyn said.

"No, Matthew is doing to good of a job for us to but in right now," Mark said.

"Well... We could make fun of Wil," Lyn suggested.

"Nah, we did that earlier," Mark replied.

"Umm... We could poke Eliwood with some sticks," Lyn said.

"That could be fun..." Mark said, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Lyn asked sounding a little agitated. Mark thought for a minute.

"We could get drunk," Mark said.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Lyn said nervously.

"Okay... How about beating up Matthew?" Mark asked. Lyn just looked at him. "Okay, we won't do that. How about we... umm... Oh! You hungry?" They then rushed off and got something to eat.

Elsewhere...

"For the last time, NILS IS NOT YOUR SLAVE FOR THE NIGHT!" Ninian yelled at Serra.

"But they gave him to me! He is mine for the night! I still need him to massage my feet! And who will carry me up the stairs? That is a very important job! I can't do it myself! I'm royalty! You have to do what I say! If you don't give him back now, I'll get Erky to fry you with a Fire spell! Wait, where is Erky? I have to go find him! For great justice!" Serra spouted all at once, before rushing off to go find her Erky, who was smart enough to hide in his room. Lucius just stood there, stupefied. He looked over at Nils, who was still cowering in fear behind Ninian.

"Nils, it's okay now. Serra left," Lucius said to the poor boy. Nils got up and started searching for a better hiding place. "I feel sorry for him."

"Why do you think that would happen to Nils" Ninian asked Lucius. Lucius looked up.

"Should I ask him?" Lucius said, pointing up. Ninian nodded. "Hey! Kilroy! Why did you do that to Nils?"

**_I sort of just pick at random..._**

"Okay..." Lucius said, sweatdropping, "How do you do that?"

I choose not to answer that question on the grounds that I have ADHD and forgot what you asked.

"I think we should end this conversation," Lucius said. He looked over at Ninian, who had a "WTF!" look on her face. "You have heard Kilroy before... right?"

"Umm... No," Ninian said, looking up at Lucius, "But I have heard of him." Lucius scratched his head.

"Okay... well now you've met him," he said. An awkward silence followed. A very long awkward silence. The kind of silence that makes you feel like you're locked in a very little room. You know the kind I'm talking about.

"BACON!" Wil shouted, running by... completely nude. Kent was chasing him, also completely nude.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BOOZE YOU LITTLE PISS ANT!" Kent shouted as he chased Wil.

"Are Wil and Kent streaking?" Ninian asked, eyes bugging out. Lucius was just standing there, silently freaking out.

"... uhh... What now?" Lucius said, snapping back to reality. Ninian giggled softly. Lucius looked confused. "Now what?" Ninian just walked off, giggling, leaving Lucius one of the most confused people in the whole group, and that is saying a lot.

A little earlier...

Sain had made up with Florina, so they were thinking of things to do. That's when the plot came up. They went upstairs to plot.

"What shall we do next?" Sain asked Florina, who was sifting through some notes.

"Well... I'm not sure. Can you think of anything?" Florina asked. Sain held his chin in thought for a moment, then got an evil smile on his face. He explained to Florina.

'**I love this plan!**'

'_Why would you want to do this?_'

'Because...'

'**Go for it girl!**'

'_What are you trying to accomplish with this?_'

'I don't feel like telling you.'

'**HA HA! You don't get to know! You don't get to know!**'

'_You don't get to know either._'

'Oh, I already told her.'

'_But why? Why won't you tell me?_'

'**Because last time she told you about this kind of thing, you freaked out and pulled out that stupid mallet.**'

'_But... My mallet isn't stupid._'

'**That's what you think.**'

'Will you two stop fighting so that we can get on with this?'

'_...Fine. It's two against one anyway._'

'**I knew you'd see it my way.**'

'_One wrong move by Sain, and I'm knocking both of you out and taking over._'

'But... but... that's not fair.'

'_Too bad._'

'**Maybe when this is over you will finally get to see some action.**'

'_I'm going to be hiding in my room until this is over._'

'**Don't run up the phone bill talking to Insanity this time!**'

'_THAT DOES IT! NOW YOU DIE!_' She pulled out her mallet and began chasing the other voice around the head, giving Florina a headache.

"So... you ready to do this?" Sain asked. Florina gulped.

"Ye... yea... yeah, I'm r-re-ready," Florina said nervously.

"If you don't want to, it isn't too late to back out," Sain said.

"But this is just so... perfect," Florina said, "We have to do it sometime. Just remember to hide behind Mark when she catches on."

"I'll remember," Sain said. Florina was still nervous.

"I know, let's get some drinks, that way, we will have an excuse later," Florina said.

"Capital idea," Sain said, "pip pip cheerio and whot not? I say, I seem to have gone into some weird accent." Florina hit him on the arm, causing him to stop.

Meanwhile...

Mark and Lyn were eating at the bar when they saw Sain and Florina sit down and order some drinks.

"Wow. They shook Matthew," Mark said.

Elsewhere...

"They didn't shake me! I just stopped following them," Matthew said.

Back with Mark and Lyn...

"Why do you think they're drinking?" Lyn said, "As long as I have known Florina, she hasn't drunken all that much."

"Maybe the stress is finally getting to her?" Mark said before going back to his food. Lyn followed suit. After a little while, Florina got up and went upstairs, claiming to be in need of a bath. About five minutes later, Sain got up and bumbled around until he found the stairs. "This won't end well."

"What won't end well?" Lyn asked. Mark's eyes started darting around. He didn't want Lyn to kill Sain again. "Uhh... nothing..."

"Okay!" Lyn said, before going back to her food. Mark sweatdropped, then went back to his food. Pretty soon they were finished. "Now what do we do?"

"Didn't we have this conversation?" Lyn asked. Mark looked around nervously. "We could go upstairs for some 'quality time.'" Lyn moved closer to Mark. Mark grew stiff as a board. Then he fell over and started twitching. He quickly got back up.

"That sounds like fun..." Mark said weakly. Lyn then took his arm and dragged him up to their room. That is when Sain and Florina came back down.

"Damn! Lyn and Mark went upstairs," Florina said, "We'll have to save this one for later."

"And I liked this idea too," Sain said, sounding disappointed. Florina looked at him.

"Well... If we can think of a way to get them out of the room..." Florina started, then shook her head, "No, we can't do that."

"Do what?" Sain asked.

"Well... No. It's nothing," Florina said, "We need to get back to the room." And so Sain and Florina retired to their room. Or so we believe...

Elsewhere...

Serra was looking for her dear Erky. Poor guy. Then she thought she could get Nils to do it for her.

"Oh Nils! Where are you? I need your help with something! Come here right now! That is an order! I said come out! Come on! As your owner, I command you to come out right now and find my Erky! Please?" Serra said, still looking for Nils, so that Nils could look for Erk.

Elsewhere...

"So, you figured out that she can't get in here, huh?" Erk said.

"Yeah. I never appreciated how hard it is to be you," Nils said. They started laughing.

Back downstairs...

"Okay! Everyone to bed. NOW!" the innkeeper shouted, "AND SOMEONE HELP THAT MAN WHO IS SO WASTED HE CAN BARELY STAND! AND SOMEONE GET THIS MAN OFF THE TABLE, HE'S STARTING TO DROOL!" Everyone started scrambling to get to bed. Everyone left Eliwood on the table, saying that he should wake up by morning. When they got upstairs, Dorcas had to evict Nils from his and Erk's room. Nils went sobbing back to his and Serra's room, where he got an earful because he didn't show up when called, which soon turned into Serra obsessing about Erk. Matthew had to drag Kent upstairs, due to the fact that Kent was now to drunk to even stand. Everyone else went to their respective rooms. Eliwood was just left lying on the table because the innkeeper was too lazy to even drag him to a bed.

In Matthew and Kent's room...

Matthew had dropped Kent into a bed and then flopped down on his. He quickly got up and set up the dummy. He was aware of their little plan, and he was ready. He then slipped into the closet and watched through the camcorder that he had set up. He was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Then he heard movement in the hallway.

"There is no doubt that Matthew has caught onto our plans," a soft voice from the other side of the door said.

"So, what do we do? He has probably set up counter measures," another voice said. There was a short pause.

"Well... Oh! Let's use... It," the soft voice said. Matthew was starting to worry. There were some slight rummaging noises.

"Okay. So, I bust the door down after you finish screaming. Lyn finds out and kills Matthew. This is going to be fuuuuun!" the other voice said. Matthew was really starting to worry now; they were plotting against his counterplot. That's not fair. And since they were plotting it now, he didn't have time to counter the counterplot's counterplot. He just decided to sit back and take it, how bad could it be. He waited a little while, then he heard something familiar.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!" came that familiar scream that brought a chill into Matthew's soul. He was dead now. Then Sain broke down the door. Then he heard Lyn storming down the hallway. Matthew gulped.

"WHERE IS THAT BASTARD!" Lyn demanded. Sain, who was holding Florina to calm her down, pointed into Matthew's room.

"He's hiding in the closet," Sain said. Florina huddled closer to Sain. Lyn stomped into the room and Mark showed up.

"Okay! What did Matthew do this time?" Mark shouted over the sounds of crunching bones and the screaming of the thief. "You know! I kind of feel sorry for Matthew!"

"Why?" Sain asked, also shouting over the noises of the beating.

"I have been on the receiving end of one of those beatings!" Mark said, "And you have too!"

"Can we get off the subject? You're scaring Florina!" Sain shouted again. Florina had cuddled up really close to Sain, and was still trembling. "So! What did you and Lyn do when you went up to your room?" Mark's eyes started to dart around.

"Umm... what if I don't want to tell you?" Mark mumbled. Sain smiled one of those "I know what you did" smiles. Mark gulped.

"Jeez! What do you think is taking Lyn so long to finish the beating?" Sain shouted. Mark shrugged.

"Do you really want to look?" Mark shouted back at Sain.

"I'm going to take Florina back to the room! You try to keep Lyn from actually killing Matthew!" Sain shouted, heading back to the room. When they got there, they began to laugh their asses off. Soon, they laughed themselves to sleep, Florina still in Sain's arms.

Mark stepped into Matthew's room to find Lyn had hung Matthew by his toes from the ceiling fan and had turned it on. Mark convinced Lyn to let him go and they went back to their room. Matthew sat there, in his bed, hunched over in a fetal position. He began to wonder how they thought up something that elaborate. He decided never to cross Sain and Florina again. That's when a Damn Ominous Thunder bolt came down from the heavens and struck Mathew.

In Lucius's room, Lucius was kneeling at the foot of his bed. "Seems as though the offering of Orange Soda went through. Our revenge on Matthew is complete," Lucius said.

"But, do you think it was right?" Ninian asked. Lucius just nodded.

"We will have to go for a refund later," Lucius said, "Time to get back to bed. Big day tomorrow." And they went to bed as well.

Matthew was now really worried. He had his first dodge thwarted and now the author was against him. He huddled up in the fetal position of utmost ph34r. He soon fell asleep, the rest of the evening was pretty much uneventful, however.

* * *

Kilroy: How many of you can believe that I actually squeezed a whole chapter out of just the evening. I hope this doesn't become a trend like the morning chapter. I will never finish this.

Lyn: But, some people would like it if this never actually ended.

Zero: I'm not one of them.

Kilroy: As you all can see, I fixed Zero.

Lute: Unfortunately.

Zero: Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!

Kilroy: She's just kidding. So, have you taken your revenge on X yet?

Zero: That weakling? No. Someone else weaker than I already killed him.

Kilroy: I mean this time's X.

Zero: Oh. No. I'm waiting 'til he comes back.

Kilroy: Okay, so the review replies will probably be permanently switched over to the reply button. But I will be replying to the anonymous ones here.

Lute: How did you get a whole chapter out of the evening?

Kilroy: I'm just that good. Until next time... Kilroy out! Oh and Toki, go crazy. The worse you treat Eliwood, the longer it will take him to wake up. Oh and sorry if my train of thought seems to change throughout this chapter. I wrote it over about three days.


	17. Chapter 17

**APRIL FOOL'S**

* * *

Kilroy: Sorry. I just couldn't resist. I will update soon… enough. Okay. I'll update before my cat dies.

Lute: You are the biggest asshole I know.

Zero: WHAT ABOUT ME!

Lyn: She was just trying to insult Kilroy. Don't take it personally.

Kilroy: Again, I promise to update before my cat dies. Kilroy out!


	18. The real chapter 17 Seriously

Kilroy: Sorry for the reeaally long update time... I have no good excuse.

Lyn: You were at camp for a week.

Lute: That only covers one week. What about the other six months?

Zero: School.

Lyn: That didn't stop him before.

Kilroy: You will just have to deal with the fact that... I. AM. LAZY.

Lute: I second that.

Zero: Me too.

Lyn: Me three.

Hoobob: Me four.

Lyn: AAAHHH! Where did you come from?

Kilroy: He's always been here.

Zero: He never leaves.

Lute: He just seems to disappear into thin air.

Lyn: Like a ninja? Or a thief?

Kilroy: No, he's too lame for that.

Hoobob: When will you guys stop insulting me?

Lute: Too much fun so... NEVER!

---Elsewhere---

RLnaruhina: If he doesn't update soon, we will have to unleash the hounds.

Sardonic Kender Smile: I already have Nils working to eliminate the threat.

Shado Of Chaos: Remember, he can't be killed. We still need his brain to write updates.

Toki Kishitani: Death threats don't seem to work. What are we going to do?

JSB: We will give him one more day. Until then, we must brainstorm.

---Back with Kilroy---

Kilroy: I have the sudden urge to sneeze.

Lute: Will you just start the chapter already?

Zero: Yeah. I don't want to die when they attack you.

Lyn: I agree.

Kilroy: OKAY! Start the fic!

* * *

Nils was huddled up in a corner, sucking his thumb. Serra was still babbling, that's right; she was up all night, talking. Nils took out his flute and blew on one end. A small dart shot out and hit Serra, who slumped to the ground, knocked out.

"Finally!" Nils exclaimed softly. He began pumping his fist in the air. Then he remembered that he never got Matthew back. "Hey Kilroy! Do you think you could do something to Matthew for me?"

**_But of course my young Orange Soda Guild member. I would be happy too._**

"Okay," Nils said, dozing off. Soon afterwards, the sun rose. A low cackling was heard from above.

---Elsewhere---

Matthew woke up; it was just barely past sunrise. He was really groggy for a while, and then he snapped awake. He began looking around for any sort of threat. Kent suddenly let out a rather loud snore.

"_THEY_ ARE HERE! _THEY _HAVE COME FOR ME! I MUST HIDE!" Matthew shouted, sounding extremely paranoid. He dove under his bed, and curled up in a fetal position.

Kent woke up long enough to say, "But Mommy, I don't want to ride the donkey," before falling back into slumber.

"_They_ have already gotten to him. Kent is forever doomed to answer _their_ whims. I must escape... but how?" Mathew spoke quietly from under the bed. Suddenly a hamster appeared in front of him, who stood up, hitting his head on the bottom of the bed in the process. "_They _have sent a hamster to soften me up. Soon one of _them _will come personally to take me to _them_. I must escape." He dashed for the window, but a large garden gnome appeared and blocked his way. They stood there, starting at each other, for quite a while.

Suddenly, the gnome leapt at Matthew, who quickly dodged, and ran out the door. The gnome got up and gave chase. The hamster followed. They ran downstairs, then back up. Just as they were going past everyone else's rooms, Matthew shouted.

"YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY POTATOES!" He continued to shout this back at the gnome. This proceeded to wake everyone up.

"What is going on out here!" Lyn shouted, stepping out of her room, "And why the hell is Matthew shouting about potatoes!" It was then that Matthew ran around the corner, and strait into Lyn. Matthew froze momentarily.

"THE GRAND MINION HAS RETURNED FOR MY SOUL!" Matthew shouted in response to Lyn. He quickly turned around and ran the other way. The hamster followed, but the gnome had disappeared. He was running towards Sain and Florina's room when they came out. He froze again.

"Oh..." Florina cooed, "What a cute hamster!" She scooped up the hamster. "Is he yours Matthew? Does he have a name? Can I have him?" Matthew was frozen solid. He tried to speak, but he was too scared to say anything. He slowly turned around and began to run the other way. Unfortunately, Lyn had caught up to him.

Matthew now stood between Sain and Florina, and Lyn. He began looking around for his escape options.

"Matthew! What is wrong with you! Why are you waking everyone up at sunrise!" Lyn shouted. Matthew was shaking now. He was about to curl up in the fetal position of utmost ph34r, then, he spotted a chair. How he missed it before, he didn't know. He picked it up.

"YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO TALK! I WILL NEVER LET YOU TAKE MY POTATOES!" Matthew shouted at the top of his lungs. He swung the chair in a wide arc, hitting himself over the head. He slumped over onto the floor, having slipped into a coma.

---Inside Matthew's coma---

Matthew looked around. He found himself floating in a space that appeared to be tie-dyed. Suddenly a figure appeared before him.

"Who are you? Why are you here? Do you work for _them_? You do, don't you? Why am I asking so many questions?" Matthew shouted at the top of his lungs. The figure looked at him.

"In that order, JSB, I am the master of your coma space, no I don't, I really don't, and because you're an idiot of the highest persuasion," the figure replied.

"So JSB, when do I get to return to reality?" Matthew asked. JSB began to laugh. He continued to laugh. And laugh. Matthew gulped.

---Back in the "normal" world---

Nils was poking Matthew with a leg of the chair Matthew used to knock himself into a coma. "Is he still alive?" Nils asked, continuing to poke Matthew.

"Nils. Stop poking Matthew with that chair leg," Ninian told her brother. There was a large group of people rummaging through Matthew's cloak and pockets, looking for their money.

"But, I don't want to," Nils said, "He disserves it for waking me up this early." Ninian revealed a small smirk. Nils gulped.

"I could tell Serra that you are her personal servant for the day…" Ninian said in a "bribe me" kind of voice.

"Now, that would just be evil. Good idea. She may leave me alone for the day," Erk said, looking away from his rummaging. Nils's bottom lip began to quiver, he adopted big puppy dog eyes, and he began to whimper.

"That won't work on me. I have an immunity built up," Ninian said. Erk said something similar. Lucius had been listening, and chose this moment to step in.

"Ahh… How could you guys threaten him like that? Shame on you," Lucius said. Both Ninian and Erk didn't waver. "Don't make me resort to the big guns." There was still no response. "Alright, you guys have forced this upon your selves." Lucius's bottom lip started to quiver, he adopted big puppy dog eyes, and he started to whimper. Then he stooped down so that his face was right next to Nils's. They resisted for a little while, but eventually broke.

"OKAY! Fine! We won't tell Serra, now will you STOP IT WITH THE FACES!" Erk and Ninian shouted. They smile brightly, while Ninian and Erk grumbled lightly.

"Okay, who wants to help drag Matthew downstairs? He's blocking the hall," Kent said, standing up. There was silence. A small cricket chirp was heard. Then it was heard again. It seemed to just get louder and louder.

"DAMMIT! Will someone find that cricket and smash it already?" Sain shouted. The cricket got louder and louder still.

"Okay. Everyone! Downstairs!" Mark shouted. Everyone rushed down, leaving Matthew lying on the floor.

---Downstairs---

A stampede of people came from the stair well. There were already some people down there, and they were trampled. The innkeeper was pissed to say the least.

"YOU GUYS AGAIN! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN TO MIND OTHERS!" the owner shouted at them. Everyone ignored him. He went stomping off to the back room.

"Did you hear something?" Mark asked. Lyn shrugged. "Oh crap. We forgot Matthew."

"Who cares?" Wil asked, "He woke us all up at dawn. Let him lay up there for a while."

"Since when has anyone cared about your opinion?" Lyn asked. A rather loud "Oooohhhh… Buuuurned!" was heard in the background.

"He is right though. We may need Matthew. Who knows when the innkeeper will kick us out. We pissed him off pretty good last night," Mark said. Lyn grumbled. "Okay, I'll make Kent do it."

"I'm hungry, how about breakfast?" Lyn asked, having already forgotten about Matthew. Mark looked slightly frustrated before responding.

"Okay. Everyone, you need to eat, and Kent…" Mark said, waiting for Kent to respond.

"…Yes…" Kent said nervously.

"Go get Matthew and drag him down here. Just put him on the table next to Eliwood," Mark handed down his orders. Kent grumbled, headed up the stairs, towards that really loud cricket.

"Now everyone, sit down and shut up!" Lyn commanded. Everyone scrambled to sit down, ready for breakfast.

"Yo! Barkeep! Can you hook us up with some grub?" Mark shouted back at the manager. Needless to say, he wasn't getting any happier with these people.

"Okay, but I'm going to spit in the food!" he shouted back. No one seemed to notice he said anything. "Excellent, now to exact my revenge. Hehehehehehe… Hahahahahahahaha. MwahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hey, what's so funny back there?" Florina shouted at the cackling barkeep. He immediately shut his trap.

"Nothing patron," he said politely, heading towards the backroom, to prepare the spit-laden breakfast for his guests. He smiled widely, beginning to snicker as he prepared the group's breakfast.

---Elsewhere---

Ninian, Nils, Lucius, and Erk where seated around a single table, talking. "I just can't believe how hard it is for you to even live, Erk," Nils said, "How haven't you gone insane?" Erk just smiled at Nils.

"And to think, I could have been rid of her for a day. But noooooo. You! You just had to but in, didn't you?" Erk said angrily, pointing a finger at Lucius. Lucius just smiled brightly.

"You know, come to think of it, I haven't heard Serra all morning," Ninian said. Erk slammed his head on the table.

"What's the matter?" Ninian asked. Erk spoke without even lifting his head.

"I was hoping that nobody would bring that up. Now, I have to go look for her," Erk said, his voice muffled by the table. Everyone at the table showed a look of realization.

"Umm... Sorry..." Ninian said. Erk gave her a death-glare. "At least we will have something to do...?" Erk just continued to stare at her angrily. "Okay! Fine! I'm sorry! Are you happy now? Am I forgiven?"

"Well..." Erk said, "I'll think about it." Ninian's bottom lip started to quiver, she adopted big puppy dog eyes, and she started to whimper. Erk slammed his head on the table. 'yOU sHOulD juST kIlL heR nOw.' 'What if I don't want to?' 'dO YoU ReALy WAnt tO kNoW?' 'Not really. But I'm still not going to kill her.' 'So, gO waKE Up sErrA.' '... I hate you.' 'JusT a PErk oF tHE JOb.' "Fine, you're forgiven. Now I have to go wake up Serra." Ninian smiled widely.

"Hey, Nils," Lucius said, "You should go help him. You may be the only one able to get into the room." Nils started to sweat.

"Umm... I think it was left unlocked. And... if it is locked... I'm sure Erk would rather waste the time he needed to come back here and get me," Nils said nervously. His eyes darted quickly between his three friends at the table. For a while they said nothing, he got more and more nervous.

"Actually, he's right, I think I would rather waste time," Erk said, "I'll come back." He headed upstairs, making his way towards Serra's room. When he got there, he turned the knob. The door slowly opened.

---A short time later---

"Hey Erk," Lucius said, "Where's Serra?"

"The door was locked," Erk said calmly.

"Okay, Nils, you go up with him," Ninian commanded.

"Fine..." Nils said, standing up reluctantly. They headed upstairs. When they got to the room, Nils pulled out the key. "You do realize this door is unlocked."

"Yep," Erk said. Nils looked at the key. He opened the door a little, locked it from the inside, then threw the key in, and closed the door.

"I... forgot the key in the room," Nils said. Erk gave him a thumbs-up.

---A short time later---

"Hey Erk," said Lucius, "Where's Serra?"

"Nils forgot his key in the room," Erk said.

"... ... ... ... .. ?" Rath asked, walking over. Then Kent came downstairs, lugging Matthew behind him. He picked him up and dropped him the same table as Eliwood, resulting in a resounding "thunk."

"That answer your question?" Ninian asked. Rath nodded. A squeaking sound was heard.

"Why not ask the innkeeper?" the sign read.

"You would come up with something, wouldn't you Dorcas," Erk asked in disgust. He trudged over to the innkeeper, asked for the key, and went upstairs to get Serra, this grumbling.

"Hey Kent, what took you so long to retrieve Matthew?" Sain asked.

"I went temporarily insane because of the cricket for a while, and it is hard work dragging someone down three flights of stairs," Kent said.

"So, you dragged him? That's what all that thumping was..." Florina said.

"Where's the hamster you had a little while ago?" Kent asked.

"He's in a cage up in my room, but Mark said I can't keep him..." Florina said.

"Speaking of Mark, I don't see him. Where'd he go?" Kent asked. Florina pointed down at Kent's feet, where he found a puddle of goo.

"That's what's left of him after Lyn helped me "change his mind."" Florina said, smiling. Kent stood there, kind of stupefied.

"You can get drunk now, you sort of earned it," Sain said, hiding his eyes. Kent went over to the bar, and ordered a drink.

"Oooohhhh NO! You don't get any drinks. I saw what happened last night," the barkeep siad, "I can understand why you want them, but the answer's still no." Kent stared at him, his eye starting to twitch. He slowly began to transform, growing and assuming the appearance of a barhop, becoming... THE INCREDIBLY DRUNK!

"DRUNK ANGRY! DRUNK SMASH PUNY BARTENDERS!" the Drunk bellowed, picking up a barstool. He flung it at one of the images he saw behind the counter. They ducked and the stool smashed against the wall. "DRUNK THURSTY! GIVE DRUNK BOOZE NOW!" The bartender quickly gave the Drunk a beer.

"Umm... Kent..." Sain said nervously. The Drunk turned to face him. He looked puzzled.

"Why there five Sains? Drunk confused... DRUNK ANGRY! DRUNK SMASH!" the Drunk bellowed, throwing the bottle of beer at Sain, who ducked, causing it to go flying into a wall, smashing it. "NOOOO! THE BOOZE!" He immediately ran over to the wall, and began licking up the booze, but he forgot about the glass. "DRUNK'S TOUNGE HURT! DRUNK ANGRY! DRUNK SMASH!" And with that he broke through the wall.

"What the fck happened in here!" Mark asked. Everyone stared at him. Lyn walked up to him to make sure.

"When did you come back?" she asked. Mark shrugged.

"All I know is that Florina gets to keep her little hamster," Mark said. Florina jumped with joy. "So how do we stop "The Incredibly Drunk"?"

"Idunno," Sain said quickly, before anyone could ask. That's when a small dart flew through the air, hitting the Drunk, who quickly passed out.

"SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO SERRA!" Erk shouted, pointing at Nils, "You have to carry her until she wakes up then." Nils's bottom lip began to quiver, he adopted big puppy-dog eyes, and he started to whimper. "That won't work this time!" Erk nervously glanced over at Lucius and Ninian. They walked over. 'Please, not the faces. Anything but the faces!'

"He's right. You want help strapping her on Erk?" Lucius asked.

"You should know better than to just knock people out," Ninian scolded her brother, who was starting to cry. "Good job with Kent though."

"I don't have to carry him too, do I?" Nils asked, glaring over at the sleeping form of Kent. Sain, Mark, and Wil were hauling Kent's body over to the table where they had dumped Matthew. The table started to creak.

"She canna take any more, cap'n!" Mark shouted, knocking over a table, then diving behind it. Everyone else in the group leapt behind makeshift barricades, made from various furniture.

"What about Kent!" Sain shouted over the creak, "I can't leave him behind!" He started to stand up, but Florina tackled him back to the floor. "He's my best friend, I can't leave him behind!" Florina grabbed hold to keep him down.

'**So... You like to be on top, eh?**'

'_Good Lord! Why must you always bring these things up!_'

'**It is my job you know.**'

'_And it is my job to keep you from doing your job._'

'**Maybe if I want to get some, I will have to distract you with Insanity...**'

'_If I see him again, I will kill both of you._'

'WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP! CAN'T I HAVE ONE MOMENT WITH SAIN WITHOUT YOU TWO BUGGING ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!'

'_I... I'm just... looking out for you._'

'YOU SHUT UP! YOUR THE WORST! SHE WOULD PROBABLY KEEP QUIET IF YOU WOULDN'T REACT SO MUCH! WHY WON'T YOU JUST GO AWAY!'

'**I probably would.**'

'_But... But... Wahhh_'

'**Woah. She's gone. I'm going to go hide now, before you start rippin' on me.**'

"But... I don't think I could stand being without you..." Florina said, starting to sob lightly. Sain stopped trying to get back up, giving into Florina.

---Behind another table---

"Why are we hiding behind a table? What's the worst that could happen?" Ninian asked.

"You know, I agree," Lucius said, "Why are we hiding behind this thing?"

"Well, with the guy in charge, you never know what will happen," Erk replied, "Wait... What's that sound?"

"What sound? You mean the creaking?" Nils asked.

"No. It sounds more like crying," Erk answered. Lucius gave him the "YOU CRAZY" look.

'hMm... wHAt Is ThaT sOuND?'

'Why do you think I'm asking?'

'_Wahhh..._'

'Where is that coming from?'

'i bEliEVe iT Is COmINg fROM fLOriNa'S hEAd. uH-oh.'

'Why uh-oh?'

'_Ohh Insanity! She kicked me out. This is the only place where I thought I'd feel better._'

'wHat'S gOINg oN HERe?'

'I'll just leave you two alone now.'

'No dON't! ...pleASE?'

"Hehehehe," Erk laughed.

"What's so funny?" Nils asked his companion. Erk waved him away with his hand.

---Back to the creaking table---

The creaking started to give way to a low groan. Then the table collapsed, sending a small shockwave out towards the barricades. When the dust settled, everything was as it was before, except for the table no longer had legs under it.

"It looks like everyone made it out alive," Mark said, peeking over his table.

"What was the point of all that?" Ninian shouted. Many others, who were pissed, joined her in protest. Mark slowly backed away.

"Umm... Sain did it!" Mark shouted before running off to hide. Everyone turned to Sain.

"Come on people, I didn't do it!" Sain said. A squeaking was heard. Everyone turned to Dorcas.

"He's the tactician, we feel the urge to follow his ranting. It is beyond our power," The sign read.

"Well... I don't, but you all go ahead," Lyn said. Everyone slowly shuffled towards Sain, ready to pulverize him. Just then, the innkeeper came out.

"BREAKFAST!" he shouted. Then, he noticed what had happened in his absence. There was a long, nervous silence. "...WHAT THE FCK HAPPENED OUT HERE! I DON'T EVEN WANT REVENDGE OR MONEY ANYMORE! JUST GET OUT! IF ANYONE OF THESE SLEEPING PEOPLE ARE LEFT IN HERE, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SACRIFICE YOU TO SATAN!"

Everyone scrambled to get their stuff. The people scrambled to pick up their friends. Everyone was quickly out of the building.

"AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE NEVER WELCOME AT ANY INN EVER AGAIN!" the innkeeper shouted after them.

* * *

Kilroy: And I finally finish the update! Hallelujah!

---Below the scenes---

Satan: DAMN IT! Did Kilroy update! I'm starting to get frost bite over here!

---Back with Kilroy---

Lute: And with that, all of the death threats have been canceled.

Zero: Good, I didn't want to have to clean you up, or deal with your fans.

Lyn: Can we go to bed now? It is four in the morning!

Hoobob: I'm good to keep going.

Kilroy: I plan on updating soon. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll update. (Probably)


	19. Chapter 19

Kilroy: Okay. How many of you forgot I existed? And how many thought I died?

Lyn: You should really update more.

Kilroy: Once again, I don't update quickly. I am sorry...

Zero: No he's not. Kill him now.

Lute: I'll start the tar, you get the feathers.

Hoobob: I'll get the camera!

Lyn: Why do you keep them around?

Kilroy: I like "bash-fest"s.

Lyn: What's a "bash-fest"?

Lute: Basically an insult contest. First one to cave in, or the first who can't think of a come-back, loses.

Hoobob: Theys is fun.

Kilroy: Anyway... On with the fic!!!

* * *

Everyone who was still conscious was fleeing the inn at top speed, the angry innkeeper shouting curses after them. Somehow, they all managed to get out with everything in tact, even if they were hungry. The collapsed table, which carried all of the unconscious people in the group, was carried by Wil.

"Why am I the only one carrying this thing?" Wil shouted. "I am starting to get tired, and I know many annoying songs!" Rath quickly rushed over to help Wil. "Thank you."

Finally everyone got tired and stopped running. "Now what do we do?" Mark asked. "We didn't even get breakfast."

"Maybe we should eat one of them..." Erk said, pointing to Serra, "Everything is good with BBQ sauce." There was a dead silence through out the group.

"..., ...!" Rath said, breaking the silence.

"That's a good idea," Wil said. And so they followed Rath's advice, and soon their bellies were full of vital nutrition. And there was no more complaining about the food or the work from there on out. But, "What was Rath's advice?" you might ask. Well, we may never know.

"YEAH RIGHT!!!" Mark shouted. "You just put that in there to get out of feeding us!" A squeaking was heard from behind Mark. Dorcas held up a sign, and started to march around in a circle.

"More food, no more fic!" the sign read. He was soon joined by many others, all who had signs, which they seemed to have pulled from nowhere, and chanting as the signs read.

"Where'd the signs come from?" asked Wil.

"The gag reflex!" shouted an overly excited penguin. Wil stared at the penguin, stupefied. "Yes. I am really here..."

"Can anyone else see this penguin!?!" Wil shouted to the rest of the group.

"Great, now Wil's crazy too," Erk said, looking away from Nils, who had Serra strapped to his back and was crying.

"Why do I have to carry her?" Nils asked in between sobs. He looked at Erk, who just smiled, very widely. Nils gulped.

"You have to learn the consequences of knocking people out for your own benefit. Or, would you rather I strap on Kent?" Erk asked, smiling evilly. Nils shook his head quickly, and skulked off to join the strike.

"So, I'm the only one who can see you?" Wil asked the penguin. The penguin jumped onto Wil's shoulder.

"You must destroy the silent one," the penguin whispered into Wil's ear.

"Who's the silent one?" Wil asked, "Oh. I know! It's Rath, isn't it? But, he 'speaks.' Oh! Is it Dorcas? But he communicates too. Is it one of the unconscious people? No, they all speak too, especially Serra. Oh..." The penguin started hitting his head repeatedly against Wil's ear.

"Why do I always get the idiots?" the penguin asked to no-one in particular.

"What's your name Mr. Penguin?" Wil asked. The penguin continued to beat his head against Wil's ear. "I'm sorry, you don't have a name, do you? That's okay! I'll give you one so you feel better. You shall now be known as..."

"I DO NOT NEED A NAME!!!" the penguin shouted.

"Fine. You shall be Mr. Frosty Britches." Wil said with a sour look on his face. The penguin's eye twitched.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?!" he shouted.

"Obviously the name fits you well," Wil replied. Mr. Frosty Britches just started crying.

Back with the protesters, Mark and Lyn were sitting to the side, watching the rest of the group march around in circles, complaining about the lack of food.

"You know," Mark said, "They're just making themselves hungrier by marching around like that." Lyn nodded in agreement.

"So what are we going to do? I'm starting to get really hungry," Lyn said, leaning on Mark.

"Me too. God. What are we going to do?" Mark whined.

"We could try praying," Lucius suggested.

"Anything useful?" Lyn asked.

"...No," Lucius replied.

"Say, why aren't you marching around like everyone else?" Mark asked.

"Because I'm not an idiot," Lucius replied, "Erk and Ninian aren't marching either."

"Wil is over there, talking to someone he's calling 'Mr. Frosty Britches'," Erk said. There was a short silence before everyone there started laughing like possessed hyenas.

"Well, I guess the stress finally got to Wil too," Mark said, wiping away a tear. "But, back to the problem at hand, how are we going to feed our people? And after that, where are we going to sleep, that innkeeper might actually follow trough with that treat."

"We could get jobs," Ninian said.

"Mark and I already have jobs, but we won't get paid for a while," Erk said.

"Besides, we have to take care of this problem in Lyn's family first," Mark said.

"Can anyone cook?" Lucius asked.

"I think anyone can cook meat, and that should get us through a few days," Lyn said, "But how are we going to get the meat, without me having to do it?" Everyone thought for a second.

"Rath!" Mark shouted.

"...?" Rath answered.

"Go kill something big, and bring it back so we can cook it," Mark ordered. Rath picked up his bow, and aimed it at Wil. "And make sure it isn't in the group." Rath lowered his bow, and swore lightly before stalking off into the forest to kill something.

"Can anyone cook well?" Lyn asked. After a short silence Sain raised his hand sheepishly.

"Sain! You can cook? That's so cute," Florina squealed, tackle-hugging Sain.

"This is NOT helping my sense of virility!" Sain said in protest.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Sain," Mark said, stifling a laugh. "I'll get you an adorable apron."

"That's okay," Sain said, "I have my own apron."

"Does it say 'Kiss the cook' or 'I'm a man-whore'?" Erk asked, before laughing uncontrollably. Sain remained calm.

"I still have many sharp, pointy objects," Sain said, pulling out some very sharp and very long kitchen knives. Erk stopped laughing. Just then, Rath dragged in a rather large buck.

"..., ..." Rath said. Sain began to prepare the buck for cooking, saving the guts.

"Why are we saving the innards again?" Mark asked.

"Great fish bait," Sain replied. Mark nodded, then his eyes bugged out, and he dashed behind a bush and started looking around as though something was after him.

"What's wrong Mark?" Lyn asked, walking over to the bush.

"We all must hide, he is coming!" Mark shouted, pulling Lyn into the bush.

"Who's coming?" Lyn asked, staring at Mark with a worried expression on her face.

"I don't know, but there is a noticeable lack of insanity. It is only a matter of time before something crazy happens," Mark said. Lyn opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to convince him otherwise, so she said nothing. A small snap was heard from behind Mark, who jumped up and ran head first into a tree, and collapsed into a pile. Sain poked his head into the bush.

"I don't know what you're doing in here, but the food's ready," Sain said. Then he caught sight of Mark's unconscious form. "What is going on?" Lyn sighed.

"Mark thinks something crazy is about to happen," Lyn explained, "You scared him and he ran into that tree." Sain nodded.

"Well. Food's ready," he said, before returning to the food. Lyn picked up Mark and dragged him out of the bush by his legs, banging his head on a rock. Mark woke up, and started by shouting many profanities.

"Good. You're up. Food's ready," Lyn said, dropping Mark and heading towards the meal. Mark sat there rubbing his head, for a good ten minutes.

"Are you hungry or not?" Lyn shouted over to Mark, who suddenly snapped to his senses, and ran to eat. A small squirrel hopped out of the bush and towards the rock.

"Do you have the sample of _the chosen one's_ blood?" the squirrel asked the rock.

"Do not worry. I have obtained the sample, and soon _he_ will be res erected. There are only a few ingredients left before we will be ready," the rock replied.

"Have _they_ been contacted? And has the mole been placed?" the squirrel asked.

"You mean the hamster? Yeah. Though I don't know why they chose him for such an important mission," the rock replied. "Come in headquarters."

"This is mission control, what is it agent Boulder?"

"The hamster is in the cage, we have obtained the sample, and I have a rash," the rock said.

"Thank you agent Boulder. I could have gone without the part about the rash though. Mission control out."

"Dude. You're a freakin' rock. How do you get a rash?" the squirrel screamed.

"Trust me. You don't want to know," he replied.

"Okay then... I shall continue to monitor the subjects. You can return home," the squirrel answered. The rock started walking off, which makes no sense for a rock to be able to do, but don't question it, on pain of a thousand...

_**Get on with the story you idiot!**_

Fine. Asshole. Let's get back to our favorite group of heroes.

_**You mean we are switching to a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney fic? YEAH!!!**_

OBJECTION! You'll find someway to keep me out of it.

"Why are the author and the narrator arguing?" Lyn asked.

"Don't draw attention to it. They might keep at it and forget to do anything crazy," Mark said. Everyone else agreed. Just then they heard a clanking of armor from off in the distance. "Crap! It must be Glass-33+ Man! RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!!" As the clanking grew closer and closer, the rest of the group sought cover, in the bushes, behind the tree, and behind the various unconscious people. Soon, they saw a bald man in gray armor walk into the camp.

"I come in search of the girl claiming to be the heir of the marquis of Caelin," the bald one shouted. Slowly, the group came out of the woodwork, and Lyn came forward.

"Yeah. What do you want?" Lyn asked the bald man.

"Wait a second!" Wil shouted, "Why haven't we heard about this heir of Caelin business? This is a blaring plot-hole in this fic!"

"There is no plot-hole," the bald one said as he waved his hand in the air. "You knew about this heir stuff all along."

"What just happened?" Erk asked, "Did everything just taste purple for a second?" He looked to the rest of the group, everyone shrugged.

"Anyway, what do you want, baldy?" Mark asked.

"I have been sent to kill the young lady, but first I wish to hear your defense," the bald one said. Lyn tried to begin her story before.

"HOLD IT!" shouted a man in a blue suit. "I heard the word 'defense'. Now, surely this woman resembles the daughter of the current marquis of Caelin."

"OBJECTION!!" shouted a man in a red suit. "How can we be sure that this isn't a look-a-like?"

_**OBJECTION!!!**_ And with that, two thunder bolts descended from the sky, and destroyed the two lawyers where they stood. A silence befell the group.

"I believe you. Your eyes do not lie," the bald one said.

"Wait... how can we be sure you aren't just lying to get in closer?" Mark asked. The bald one quickly whipped off his armor, flexed, and made his muscles dance.

"Would a man with muscles like this lie?" the bald one replied, pink sparkles appearing around his head.

"...Umm... That adds no credibility to your argument," Mark pointed out. The bald one drew closer to Mark, struck a new pose.

"Are you so sure about that?" he said, flexing again. Mark slowly backed away.

"Fine. I believe you. Now get away from me and put your armor back on," Mark said, slumping over in defeat.

"That persuasion technique has been passed down in my family for generations!" The bald one then left, to put his armor back on. Mark just started crying, and Sain joined him.

"Why are you crying, Sain?" Florina asked.

"You didn't have to train under him," Sain said, "Oh the horror! The horror!" He then curled up into a ball, and began sucking his thumb.

"Get up Sain. You are making a fool of yourself. He wasn't that bad," Kent said.

"That's easy for you to say, you were a teacher's pet."

"I suffered just as much as you, the only difference is that you were a little wimp."

"Um... Kent. How are you awake?" Lyn asked.

"I have a high resistance to depressants, and that includes tranquiler. Now, where Nils?"

"What do you want?" Nils asked, having collapsed nearby from Serra's weight. I'm lucky Serra's asleep.

"We need to get away from the others," Kent said, grabbing Nils and dragging him away.

"Why do we need to get away from the others?"

"So I can rape and kill you without getting caught," Kent replied, "Okay, we should be far enough away. Okay, where did you get that tranquiler."

"Why?"

"Because I have a few annoyances that I would like to knock out from time to time. Not to give any names, but the main one has brown hair, a headband, and wears green armor."

"I'm not really allowed to tell you."

"How's fifty gold sound?"

"Sold! I'll whip you up a batch next time we stop to sleep."

-Back with everyone else-

"Hey everyone!" Mark shouted, trying to get everyone's attention. Needless to say, it didn't work to well.

"Let me try," Lyn said, "Anyone who pays attention doesn't have to share Serra's room tonight!" This, of course, got everyone's attention.

"Okay, we have a new member of the army. Everyone, this is... Umm..." Mark hesitated.

"What's the matter Mark?" Lyn asked.

"We never asked his name. He was just the bald one." Mark whispered to Lyn.

"...You're right" Lyn whispered back.

"So who's the new guy?" Wil asked.

"It doesn't matter, you will destroy him anyway. No one will stand in our way!" Mr. Frosty Britches said into Wil's ear.

"You're right next to my freaking ear, you don't need to shout!" Wil shouted at his new penguin friend.

"Is Wil okay?" Ninian asked Lucius.

"Don't worry, he just has an imaginary friend. He'll be fine." This kind of stuff obviously didn't faze him.

"The new guy will introduce himself," Mark said, backing away. "He's going to do that again, isn't he?"

"I don't see why he won't," Lyn replied. The bald one walked in front of the group, and cleared his throat.

"I am Wallace," he said, whipping off his armor, and began to flex, "and I will be handling all of your physical training from this point forward. As you can see, I know what I'm doing."

"We never agreed on that!" Mark shouted. Wallace drew close to Mark, and struck a new pose.

"Care to argue your point?" Mark slumped over in defeat, and started crying.

"Just put your armor back on, please."

"There there, its okay," Lyn said, patting Mark on the back.

"Oh! I just remembered!" Wallace said, "I haven't used my promotion yet."

"What's a promotion?" Mark asked.

"Maybe I should just show you," Wallace said, pulling out a small shield-looking piece of metal and holding it up. A small pop was heard and a small cloud of dust appeared around Wallace. When the dust cleared, Wallace's armor was different. For one, there was more of it, and, well, there wasn't much difference other than that. "I smell enemy soldiers. We must prepare for battle!"

"Not again. I thought we had enough insanity today, but No!" Mark continued to whine. "I wonder what quirk the boss is going to have this time! It will probably be worse than any of the others so far." And he continued to grumble as the rest got ready for battle.

* * *

Kilroy: Wow, this has been sitting here, half complete for a while, so I'm just ending this chapter here.

Lute: How long has it been since you updated?

Zero: Almost a year now.

Lyn: You have problems, don't you?

Kilroy: The life of a senior is very busy.

Hoobob: But aren't you seventeen?

Kilroy: Yeah...

Hoobob: Then how are you a senior?

Everyone else: ...Idiot.

Kilroy: Anyways, please review, it does help to keep my momentum up. In fact, if you guys can get the count into the triple digits, I'll update within a week. (of the hundredth review that is) I'm going out of town for the weekend, and I won't be able to work on the update for at least three days, but I promise to start updating more often, since I have graduated and really have nothing better to do right now.

Lyn: You heard him people, review.

Kilroy: Kilroy out!


	20. Chapter 20

Kilroy: I am once again bored and require amusement!

Lute: Oh great. He's back.

Zero: I was enjoying the break.

Lyn: Would you two shut up, I'm trying to sleep!

Hoobob: But he's updating.

Lyn: REALLY!?

Kilroy: Is it really that surprising?

Lyn: ...Maybe...

Everyone else: YES!

Kilroy: ...Whatever.

Denning: Kilroy does not own Fire Emblem! (aims bow at Hoobob)

Zero: When did he get out of the closet!?

Lute: CR-P!

Hoobob: -gulps-

Kilroy: Start the fic before he starts to kill us!

And so our group of heroes set off to do battle once more with the forces of evil.

"Who's to say if they are evil. Why, in their eyes, we are the evil ones," Wil said. Needless to say, he was ignored by all. Wil looked displeased. "Why am I still carrying this table with these people sleeping on it?"

_**You know what? You're right. I'm sick of it too. Everyone will wake up from their current comas.**_

Suddenly, Matthew awoke, and so did Serra, who immediately started to demand stuff from Nils, who was still carrying her.

"Why are you carrying me? Is it because you are in love with me? That's okay. I know I'm irresistible. Which is why I still don't know why my dear Erky hasn't fallen for me yet. Do you know why? Oh, right. You wouldn't want to talk about this. You are in love with me after all. So what is it that you like about me? Is it my personality? Or maybe it's my beauty? Will I ever guess? Ohh... I am just going to love this..." Serra said, continuing to babble. Nils started crying quietly. Erk, on the other hand, just started laughing.

"Why are you laughing at another's misfortune?" Lucius asked.

"Because it's not me," Erk said between laughs. He started to walk away, but Ninian stopped him.

"You will go back there, and you will get Serra off of him, or I will tell her that you confessed your love for her to Lucius," Ninian said. Erk immediately stopped laughing.

"You wouldn't."

"Just try me."

"I hate you."

'yoU tAlkIN' AboUT mE Now?'

'_Shut up. Not everything is about you._'

'Why are you still here?'

'_I'm afraid to go back to Florina's head._'

'YoU cAn STAy hEre If yOU WanT. I dOn'T miNd.'

'But **I** do.'

'_Are you going to kick me out? Just like Florina did? Wahhh..._'

'Fine. You can stay, for now. But, I do expect you to go back eventually.'

'_Yay!_'

"Fine. Serra!" Erk shouted at the annoying, pink-haired one. Serra immediately hopped off of Nils' back and ran over to Erk.

"I'll see you later, Nils!" Serra shouted back. Everyone else was stunned.

"That's... the shortest phrase to come out of her mouth... ever," Ninian said, stupefied.

"Please don't come back!" Nils shouted after her.

"Aww... You're just so cute when you act like you don't love me," Serra said to Nils. She then turned around, and started running after Erk.

"I feel sorry for you," Lucius said. "I wish I could do something, but I don't think I can."

---Meanwhile, with Matthew---

He awoke, and found himself on top of a broken table, which was on top of Wil. Next to him, he saw a sleeping Eliwood. 'I wonder why we are on this table.' He tried to remember, but couldn't seem to remember. He shrugged, quickly pick-pocketed Wil, and ran off.

"I wonder when Eliwood is going to wake up," Wil said, setting down the table, and started to poke Eliwood with a stick.

---Inside Eliwood's head---

"Wait a second. Why am I still here? I thought that the author said we would all wake up from our comas," Eliwood said, a bit confused. A girl munching on a chocolate bar answered him.

"The author only said that you would wake up from your current coma. You fell into another when you first arrived, remember. That means that you are in your first coma, not your coma's coma," Toki responded. Eliwood began to cry as they hauled him off to be sacrificed to the Great Chocolate Ruler.

---Back with Mark---

"Aren't we supposed to be fighting a battle here?" Wallace asked. Everyone around him immediately attempted to tackle him, and failed. "Okay. What was that for?"

"Because if the author forgets about it, we won't have to deal with the boss," Mark said quickly.

"What is so bad about the boss? I bet that I could take him without breaking a sweat," Wallace said, beginning to rip off his armor. "With muscles like these, would you disagree with me?" he said, finally ripping off the armor, and flexing. Mark winced, and hid behind Lyn.

"The bosses just have a tendency towards crazy quirks, that are either coma inducing, or just plain too annoying for words," Lyn explained briefly, "I don't know about your current mental state, but your sanity may not survive the first boss." Wallace, having heard their explanation, became excited by what he thought was a challenge.

"Fine! We will go to fight this boss and I will prove to you my mental fortitude!" Wallace shouted, beginning to round up the others so that they could face the boss.

"That... kind of backfired. Didn't it?" Mark said, starting to cry a little. "I just hope I don't have to deal with him too much. I might have to kill myself," Mark said. Lyn looked obviously upset by this remark.

"No! You aren't allowed to!" Lyn shouted. Mark raised an eyebrow. "...What? I ...just don't want to have to... clean you up. You look like a bleeder." Mark slapped his forehead.

"Time to go!" Wallace bellowed, sending a shiver down everyone's spine.

"You want to face the boss, don't you, Sir?" Kent said, approaching he who had no hair. (Alliteration is fun!)

"You know me too well, Kent!" Wallace bellowed once again, giving Kent a firm slap on the back, which promptly sent Kent bowling over. "You've grown soft! Looks like you are getting special training, Kent!" Sain laughed from the distance. "Looks like Sain gets to join you, too!" The laughter quickly stopped.

And so they set off to face the boss, but little did they know, the obstacle that they would face.

"I wonder what this obstacle that the narrator oh so subtly hinted at," Florina said.

"Don't worry, whatever it is, I will protect you from it," Sain said, drawing closer to Florina.

"Right. That is unless its some sort of beautiful woman," Florina replied, knowing, like everyone else, Sain's weakness.

"But only if she is more beautiful that you, and I know that is impossible," Sain's corny response earned a blush from Florina. Which soon triggered Matthew.

"3... 2... 1..." Matthew counted down. Soon, everyone cooed and "Aww..." Completely ruining any sort of moment that might have just occured.

"I dislike you all with great intensity," Sain said, as Florina hid behind him in embarrassment. Everyone laughed. They continued onwards, being dragged along by Wallace. Soon, everyone noticed that they couldn't see anything.

"What is going on? Why can't I see anything? Is it dark out? Erky, start a fire. I think I'm getting cold. Are you cold? How do you make fire come out of nowhere anyway? Will you teach me? I really want to know. I wonder if Nils knows. I'm sure he'll teach me. Bye," Serra said, walking off to bother the poor boy to teach her fire magic. Erk looked relieved, and went over to, unfortunately, where Serra went.

"Hey Lucius. How goes it?" Erk asked. Lucius looked annoyed.

"Okay. How did you convince Serra to bug Nils instead of you?" Lucius asked. Erk looked over to the poor bard, who now had the pink-haired annoyance hanging on him.

"I didn't do anything," Erk said, "Purely her idea."

"Yeah. Well, we'll see about that. AUTHOR!" Lucius shouted at the sky. A small ding was heard.

"Hello! You have reached the offices of Kilroywuzheere inc. If you wish to file a complaint, go jump off a cliff. If you wish to make a suggestion, leave a review. If you wish to speak to the author, offer up an orange soda. Thank you. And have a nice day."

"...When did the author get an answering machine?" Lucius asked no one in particular. Ninian giggled lightly.

"Okay, what's with this fog?" Mark asked. "I can barely see anything!" With a small "pop" Matthew appeared on top of Wallace's bald head.

"I can see all sorts of things, like that swordsman sneaking up Mark," he said. Soon after, a swordsman jumped from the fog, and swung his sword at Mark. Florina shrieked and covered her eyes. Sain drew his sword, ready to strike down the man before he could land a second strike. However, this mercenary's sword suddenly turned into a wet noodle just before it hit Mark.

"What the f-!" the swordsman shouted, before being clobbered by Lyn. Sain sheathed his sword, and got Florina to uncover her eyes. Lyn walked over to the mercenary, and picked him up by his shirt collar.

"How did you know we were here, and why couldn't we see you through this fog?" Lyn demanded.

"You mean you don't know about the fog?" he asked. Lyn gave him the evil eye. "Okay! The fog is actually an entity that will give you it's services for money. The people it engulfs can't see very far, but on the other side, it's barely there." Lyn looked quite annoyed.

"So, basically, we can't see you, but you can see us," Lyn said, dropping him. "This is just great."

"Wait a second. Matthew! How can you see through the fog?" Mark bellowed. Matthew just smirked, getting more comfortable on Wallace's head. Mark decided to give up, and went over to the mercenary laying on the ground. "How do we get rid of the fog?"

"You can't," came the reply. Suddenly, another person appeared from the fog.

"Kilroy's pizza delivery. I've got a large pepperoni pizza for..." he quickly noticed something wasn't right.

"Oh. My pizza's here," the swordsman said, getting up and walking towards the voice. Unfortunately, Florina was in the way. He walked into her, knocking her over, and landed on top of her. This earned the usual shriek, and enraged both Lyn and Sain.

"That does it. I'm killing him!" Sain said, rushing towards him. Lyn quickly caught Sain by the back of his shirt.

"No. He's mine!" she shouted. Soon, Lyn and Sain were fighting over who would kill the swordsman.

"I'm going to separate them," Mark said. Florina got up, and tackled Mark.

"No. I will!" she said, soon they were fighting too. Eventually, everyone else was involved in battle with each other. The swordsman got up, looked around, and noticed the pizza guy.

"In the name of meaningless battle!" he shouted, jumping at the delivery guy, new sword drawn.

"Shut up Hoobob," he said, before both of them disappeared in a damn ominous thunder bolt. A man riding a large, white horse rode up to the group.

"You guys are all fighting each other," he said. Everyone looked at him. "Everyone is looking at me." Mark began bashing his head on the ground. "You seem to enjoy hitting the ground." Everyone groaned. They had figured it out. "I'm Captain Obvious!"

"Hello, Eagler!" Wallace bellowed, walking towards this annoyance.

"You have a man on your head, Wallace!" Eagler shouted back.

"How are you?"

"I'm on a horse!"

"Okay, this is getting annoying," Mark said. "Time to get rid of him." He walked over to Eagler. "You claim to be Captain Obvious, right?"

"Your hair is brown," Eagler responded. Mark slapped his forehead. "You have an affinity for head injuries."

"Right. So, that means that you must point out things that are obvious. However, you missed the most obvious thing here, the fog. Therefore, you obviously have failed to fulfill your duties. And obviously, a Captain Obvious that doesn't point out the obvious, obviously can't exist. Therefore, you don't exist!" Mark shouted. As soon as he finished, Eagler disappeared. "That was fun." Everyone looked stunned, Mark had just killed the boss, and he hadn't gone crazy, or gotten hurt.

---Back with Kilroy (not the author) (If you don't remember, read the first chapter again)---

He was sitting in front of a smoking computer, working on something. The computer took a puff from his cigarette.

"You know that's bad for you, right?" Kilroy said.

"Yeah, Chris. I know. I was going to give it up for my New Year's Resolution," the computer replied.

"Like I haven't heard that one before," Chris replied. (I kinda am renaming him. Deal with it.) Suddenly an alarm went off in the basement. Chris darted into the basement. "Damn! They found him. Now what?"

"What's going on?" the computer asked. Chris quickly opened a trap door, and pulled out a strange device. "What are you doing?"

"No time to explain!" Chris quickly dialed Mark.

Kilroy: It's been a while.

Lute: Your update is short today. What's wrong?

Zero: Isn't it obvious? He's getting lazy.

Hoobob: You mean he WASN'T lazy before?

Kilroy: …Just shut up. Before I kill you all. I promise to update sooner. The chapters will be shorter, but hopefully more frequent. REVIEW!!! Kilroy out!


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